Why doesn't mother want to take her children to her mother-in-law?

Less than three months after the baby was born, my husband and I left my husband's house and returned to her mother's house. After my husband went to work, my mother helped me with my children, because at that time, I didn't know how to take care of them. With the passage of time, my child grew up slowly, and I began to learn to take care of my child alone and officially became a full-time mother.

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Many people around me are puzzled by my choice, and some even think that I have no mother-in-law. In fact, as a highly educated person, I don't want to return to the workplace and open up a world of my own. For the record, I have a mother-in-law. She is in her hometown in Henan, and she is not very old. She is only in her fifties. The husband is the only son of his parents-in-law's family, and both daughters now have their own small families, both living in other places. Many people will definitely ask me curiously, why not leave the children with my mother-in-law and go to work by myself? When I think about this problem, I feel wronged and feel that my life is not good.

Why do you say that? After my husband and I got married, because his hometown was in Henan, my husband and I both worked in the south at that time, so we didn't live with my mother-in-law, and we knew a little about her personality and people. When I returned to my mother-in-law in the second trimester, I had a new understanding of her, but it was only a superficial understanding at that time. It was not until the child was born that I slowly discovered from the aspects of living habits and ability to do things that my mother-in-law really couldn't help us with the children. In fact, my mother-in-law also wants to help us take care of the children, but my attitude is: she must not be allowed to take care of them. Maybe everyone will think that my daughter-in-law is too difficult to get along with, not thinking about the elderly, not respecting her mother-in-law, and so on.

But after reading the following points, I believe parents will be surprised. First, my mother-in-law is so careless about hygiene that she uses the tablecloth as a towel (her hometown is Henan).

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I went back to Henan from Zhejiang to have a baby. It was very hot at that time. I remember that at noon one day, my father-in-law, mother-in-law and husband and I sat around the little square table for dinner. Because there is no air conditioning at home, my mother-in-law is fat and sweats when eating. At that time, I was about to ask my husband to help my mother-in-law with a towel when something unexpected happened: my mother-in-law suddenly picked up the tablecloth from the bar under the square table and wiped it on her forehead and face. The husband finally couldn't stand it anymore and said angrily, "Mom, why are you still so unsanitary?" No matter how clean the tablecloth is, there are oil stains and bacteria! "My mother-in-law smiled disapprovingly and said," Never mind! The husband went on to say, "You also said that when the child is born, you will leave it at home for us and will help the child wipe his face with a tablecloth in the future?" The mother-in-law didn't say anything, but the father-in-law spoke authentic Henan dialect and said with a smile, "Then she wiped it. Your mother has been like this for decades. When she is in a hurry, she wipes whatever she grabs. " Seeing this scene, my eyes were straight, but as a daughter-in-law, I said nothing.

When I was pregnant, my husband took time off to take care of me at home and did all the laundry and cooking. I remember one sunny day at noon, and my husband took out the dirty clothes of the whole family to wash. My husband is more careful. Every time he washes clothes, he will put a big washbasin next to the washing machine. Hand washing underwear and socks. Finally, just use the washing machine to dehydrate. Because there were too many clothes that day, my husband went to the kitchen to cook before washing. At noon that day, my husband stewed fish soup and cooked chicken. After dinner, I was chatting with my father-in-law and husband, and my mother-in-law cleaned up the dishes. Seeing my mother-in-law walking towards the washbasin with her eaten dishes and bowls, I quietly followed. As I expected, my mother-in-law put all the plates, bowls, chopsticks and spoons into the dirty water in the washbasin and began to wash them. I couldn't stand it any longer, so I quickly called my husband out.

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The husband flew into a rage and was furious with his mother-in-law: "Mom, how can you put your food in the washtub?" Do you know how dirty the water is there? That's water for washing socks! "Mother-in-law also argued:" There are small fishbones and chicken bones in the bowl. I will wash it in the washtub for the first time and then take it back to the kitchen for rinsing. "