The god-turned-sardonic funny copywriting, the must-have sentences for the funny circle of friends

1. Every time I walk alone at night I feel scared. It’s so dark and I look so good, I’m really afraid that others won’t see me.

2. Someone said that a pair of his shoes can cover my monthly living expenses. I laughed, and I wanted to tell him that I should wear less shoes that are in my twenties and thirties.

3. Since I can’t be your bride, then I will be your mother.

4. My favorite month of the year is February. This month only requires 28 days of poverty.

5. How come some people can list dozens of requirements when looking for a partner? My criteria for choosing a mate are just three words, please.

6. Today’s girls are too proactive. They meet their parents after only knowing them for a few days. I just asked a girl if she wanted to go to the movies, and she said it depends on your mother.

8. If you are about 20 years old and your best-looking friend is about the same age as you, what is his WeChat ID?

9. I forgot to bring money when I just ate, so I told my boss to make up for it next time, but the boss didn’t want to! When I got angry, I called over 10 friends and finally got the money for the meal!

10. People around me always told me to stop wearing my hat. When I asked why, they said: It looks so good. The face is no longer visible.

11. Wine is a good thing. Li Bai can write poems if he drinks too much. Wu Song can kill tigers if he drinks too much. So what can you do if you drink too much? I drank too much and forced Wu Song to write poems, and forced Li Bai to fight tigers.

12. I was taking a train on the weekend. As soon as I got on the train, a man yelled at me that I had taken his seat. He was very aggressive. After a stalemate for a while, I looked at his ticket and gave in. What did he do? He didn’t say anything. The train was very far away, so I told him that you were on the wrong train. Sometimes you should teach some unqualified people this way. His face turned pale and he asked the person next to him. It turned out that I was on the wrong train.

14. What do you think I should give you? Seeing that you don’t need anything, forget it, I’ll send you away.

15. I heard that when a boy speaks, he will be more gentle if he adds "?", such as: Baby, where is your best friend?

16. Oh my god, just now a very handsome boy came towards me with a large bouquet of roses in his arms and said to me in a very magnetic voice, "Can you give me some space? You can't squeeze these flowers." .

18. I don’t want to be a licking dog anymore, let’s get together and relax. From now on, you can walk on your single-plank bridge, and I’ll be supporting the bridge from below. You must be careful when crossing the bridge!

19. As a well-known star, I have always kept a low profile when playing King of Kings. Until today, I didn’t know where I was exposed, but I was still discovered. My teammates asked me, are you an actor?

20. I was lying in bed listening to music just now, and suddenly I remembered that I still had a lot of homework to do, so I slapped myself a few times. I was listening to music, so what were I thinking about?

21. You always play hahaha. Have you ever thought that the H key is tired? It doesn’t want to be pressed by you all the time like a muscle spasm. It longs for rest and misses its family. Have you ever cared about this? No, you only think about yourself

22. My monthly salary is 1,800. The gifts I bought for my girlfriend a few days ago were her favorite brand-name bags. I also sent them to her on Valentine’s Day. A 1314 red envelope. This story tells us that we poor people can also make up stories about rich people

22. Nowadays, some people’s thoughts are really hard to explain. Do you think boys will like you if you are good-looking? , do you think that if you have money, all the girls will follow you? Do you think that having money will really make you happy? I am here to tell you today: Yes!

23. It doesn’t matter if no one gives you a gift, you can come to me. As long as you ask, I will say no

24. I will go to the big shopping mall every time I take a break. The manager of the shopping mall They are all familiar with me. Every time I go there, they greet me very warmly and then politely say: Come and enjoy the air conditioning again.

25. Who is in your ears, saying that your love for me will never change? They are poor people, hairless people, and single people!

26. Just when I was ordering takeout, I suddenly remembered that I weigh 120 pounds and gave myself a slap in the face. How can I be distracted when ordering takeout!

27. From today on, if any of my friends has no money, just call me, and I can tell you how I spent my days without money.

28. I know that someone has been waiting for me, waiting to see my jokes. Just wait, I have many more jokes.

29. This year, the epidemic prevented me from going abroad, but it was different in previous years. In previous years, it was all because of lack of money.

30. I was the gentlest girl in the world, until I clicked on Peace Elite and three teammates lost their mothers.

31. Tips for running 800 meters: Rely on sprinting for the first 100 meters, and swear words for the last 700 meters.

33. I am not a good father, not a good husband, not a good son, but so what? I am a little fairy.

34. The only thing I have persisted in growing up is to charge my mobile phone every day.

35. I rejected three more boys. I am really an excellent girl. Looking at them walking away, I feel a little lonely. I can only say sorry silently: I really can't afford your real estate, insurance, and financial management products.

36. In the past, I had to read a lot of books to find enough materials to do my homework. Now I just need to go online and forget about my homework.

37. While I was eating, there was a power outage. I quickly took a few mouthfuls of rice, and suddenly the light came on. I exclaimed: Could this be the legendary "Pala La La" light?

38. How many times have I told you that my photo is p? Stop talking about me having plastic surgery. If I had money for plastic surgery, do you think you would still be qualified to be friends with me?

39. I am in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. I am in Shenzhen and he doesn’t know where I am.

40. The most touching thing my girlfriend has done is that she has not appeared so far so as not to disturb my peaceful life.