Why is the attitude of children talking to their parents not as peaceful as before after marriage?

Before marriage, children and parents are closest, because they are a family, so-called family of origin. Parents' love for their children is pure and unreserved. Children just do what children should do, be sensible and obedient, and be considerate of their parents. How many contradictions can there be in this state? Even if there is, parents will digest it themselves, will not care about their children, and will not take it to heart. But after marriage, it's different. Originally, when children get married, they form a new family. Some parents have no sense of boundaries and always want to participate in all kinds of things in their children's small families. After a long time, there will always be contradictions! Families with many children are even more obvious! As the saying goes, five fingers are not the same length, so it is difficult for parents to make a bowl of water! Take my own family as an example. My in-laws have two sons. Husband is nearly older than brother 17 years old. When I first got married, many people praised me for marrying a young in-laws in my life, so that I could take care of my children in the future. In real life, what my mother-in-law said the most is: without a younger son, you don't have to worry after giving birth. You can do whatever you want. After giving birth to my girl, I took her to kindergarten when she was a little over 2 years old. What impressed me the most during my stay with her was that when she was about one and a half years old, I started to do business. My husband has to go to work. When he gets up early for shopping for the first time, he sends her to his in-laws to look after her. When I went back to pick her up after I was busy at noon, I found that her skirt was worn backwards and backwards, and she was knocked on the head with a bag. At that time, tears were swirling in my eyes, and I could only bear it! I left with the baby in my arms without saying anything! It's parents. Can you understand their feelings of taking care of their youngest son? To tell the truth, yes, but can you do it without a trace of resentment? Honestly, I can't! My husband is introverted and inarticulate, and my father-in-law is outspoken. When you see what he wants to say, say it, no matter how, no matter why, no matter how the other person feels. My husband always put up with it at first, so I couldn't help asking him. Aren't you angry? Husband said he was used to it! But after a long marriage, people will change. Before giving birth to a second child, people around me advised my husband and I to have a second child. The girl is 6 years old, and all her relatives and friends want to talk to her, but her in-laws never give birth. Even when my husband and I expressed the idea of having a second child, my in-laws had a difficult expression on their faces, because the youngest son was still in primary school. In fact, he could go to school by himself, because his in-laws were always at ease. My husband and I have seen these things, but my girl didn't bring them when she was born. We're going to have a second child, business, and my daughter is going to school. Our little family also needs their support! Later, I got pregnant, and the due date was in the summer vacation. Considering that my mother-in-law has no time and energy to take care of my mother-in-law, and my mother-in-law has to take care of my brother's children, I propose that we pay for Yueyue at our own home. My husband didn't agree at first, saying it depends. In fact, I understand my husband's concerns. He is thinking about his parents' emotions and face, fearing that others will say that his parents didn't serve the new moon well. Later, when my husband mentioned inviting Yue Yue, my mother-in-law was silent and my father-in-law was bored. He said there was nothing in confinement, so he cooked a bowl of rice. Why do you ask Yue Yue to spend so much money? It's hard to earn anything ... later, it turned out to be a boy, and my in-laws felt much better. At my insistence, I invited Yue Yue, because I knew what kind of confinement would be without Yue Yue, and I knew it well, even if I was wronged to death. You can earn more money, but if you don't get sick in the next month, it's your own, and no one will replace you. However, the only condition for a husband to compromise is to go to his parents' house for confinement. On the one hand, everyone around him knows that if his parents are confined upstairs, it seems that his parents are also eager to serve the confinement. On the other hand, their in-laws can look after the younger ones at any time. During confinement, my mother-in-law was really busy, sending my brother-in-law and my girl to cram schools for various extra-long classes. Besides, this is also the peak season for their stores. I haven't seen many people all day, and I occasionally take time to watch for a while and then go out. After the second month, we went home. Originally, I thought it was over, but when I went to their store to play later, people close to me secretly told me that because I was sitting at home for the next month, my father-in-law spent money, and my mother-in-law felt that no matter how unwilling she was to visit us, she would call her mother-in-law a bitch and make her cry. People around me can't stand it. They call me grandpa. Everyone around me knows this! How cold my heart was when I learned about it. My mother-in-law paid for the new moon. I gave it to my mother-in-law and said nothing. I was grateful at that time, but I couldn't tell what it was like after I knew it. I bought things in different ways and gave him back the money! From then on, I can't stand it anymore. I won't listen to what my father-in-law says, so I'll go back. Until his son was two years old, his father-in-law was unhappy because of what he said. My husband found out and went home to tell me what I had become and didn't respect his parents. As he spoke, I began to cry, telling all the grievances I usually saved, plus asking for a new moon. After lying in bed, my husband immediately sat up and asked me why I didn't tell him at that time, saying that I would be wronged in the future. He also advised me that my in-laws had no daughters and could not understand the feelings of adopting them. If I were their daughter, my father-in-law would never have this attitude! Although my heart is much calmer, my heart is always hard! Later, in my daily life, my husband and I obviously stood in a position. My husband will talk back when my in-laws say anything bad! I asked him why he couldn't stand it. My husband smiled and said, he is my parents. I can say anything before, but I can't be wronged. Let my wife and children suffer with me! There is still a long way to go, and parents are indeed at fault. We can't endure it all the time! They also need to reflect, and we need to understand!

I know a friend whose son works in a nearby city and bought a house in that city. Before getting married, his son went home once a month. Every time before he goes home, he will call his mother and tell her what he wants to eat. When the son comes home, his mother will cook his favorite food. When the son left, he saw that his parents had something he liked and took it away without telling his parents.

Since my son got married, it's like a different person. Every time I bring my daughter-in-law home, I buy something for my parents to eat or use. His mother often tells him that there is everything at home, so don't waste money. But his son still buys some fruits or other things more or less, and never goes home empty-handed.

Once, my son bought a scarf for his mother. The price is very high, and her mother doesn't like the color of the scarf. She didn't think it was worthwhile to spend such a high price on this scarf, but she didn't say it. She took it away with a smile and pretended to be happy. Later, she said: I feel that after my son got married, he began to be polite to her. Unlike before, he went back to his parents' house, rummaged through things casually, and took away what he liked without saying hello.

Although her son is as good to his parents as before, she always feels that her son and parents are taking care of each other. She also began to pay attention to her words. No matter what her son bought back, she accepted it gladly. For example, although she didn't like the scarf her son bought this time, she pretended to be happy when she saw her son holding a scarf in his hand. She felt that if she told her son that she didn't like it, he would be disappointed.

Before marriage, no matter what happens at home, parents are in charge, so you don't have to worry about it, and there are few worries. Therefore, speaking is also peaceful.

After the children get married, they shoulder the heavy responsibility of supporting their families, and they have to take care of all the big and small things at home. Parents are getting older and older, and they can't help their children much. There are many things that need children's help. Family pressure, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and a series of things are all causes of children's irritability, and children will certainly not speak peacefully.

As parents, we should be considerate of our children. What we can do, we'd better solve it ourselves. It is our love to give them less trouble and make them angry. They are really hard.

I think this kind of thing is actually the most normal thing. As parents, as long as their children always maintain a respectful and filial heart, why think too much?

You know, if a child is unmarried, he can do anything casually, especially housework, because after all, he has little responsibility, including his attitude towards his parents. Even if you don't want to listen, it's unheard of. Whether they really follow the trend can be said to be another matter, which can easily make parents have the illusion that talking to their children is more peaceful.

However, we should know that once a child is married, his nature will change somewhat. Because he has his own family and his own responsibilities and obligations, it is impossible not to take everything seriously. At this time, he should have his own opinions, so sometimes the conversation and communication with his parents will inevitably be less peaceful and casual.

For this, I think parents should understand that this is a sign of their children's maturity, becoming more responsible, more assertive, knowing how to think carefully and knowing what they need to do. Parents should be happy to see their children like this, and their attitude and tone should also change with their children's marriage and family.

Although some people say that children will never grow up in the eyes of their parents, married children should have their own opinions and dignity. As long as children know how to respect and filial piety their parents, parents should also maintain and support their children's opinions and dignity, because children have become or will become parents.

In fact, nothing in the world can be solved. As parents and children, we should understand this change. As parents, as long as children know filial piety, there is no need to stick to their own opinions. Letting children decide their own affairs can make them more responsible and responsible.

The above is my personal opinion. I wonder what the subject thinks of this problem.

My mother-in-law asked my husband in front of me. I know my mother-in-law is questioning my daughter-in-law instead of her son. She thinks I made her son unfilial to her, and even thinks I taught him to change his attitude.

In fact, this really wronged me. Even though I can influence my husband's thoughts, I can't influence his attitude.

I once asked my husband if he really didn't tell his parents well after he got married. Is it really because of me that he changed his attitude towards his parents?

My husband thought about it and said, it's not because of you, it's because I have my own home. Because before I got married, my parents and I were a family, and I only had one identity-my parents' son. So I don't think I have the right to interfere with my parents' decisions. They always say that. Because there is no disagreement, there will naturally be no contradiction, and speaking without contradiction will naturally be calm.

But after I got married, my priority changed. I am no longer just the son of my parents. I'm still your husband and the father of our daughter. I am the backbone of a family. At this time, parents have not learned to let go. They not only want to continue to control my mind, but even want to control you. As a man, I don't want my parents to interfere in our affairs. My argument turned into resistance and contradiction in my mother's eyes, and she would think that my attitude had changed.

My husband also smiled and said: I know this crime of unfilial may fall on your head, but it doesn't matter, as long as I understand what is going on.

Husband said: In fact, old people are sometimes more like children. Children can't blindly obey them, or they will be spoiled like children. If children just obey their parents blindly, it will make them more and more willful and unreasonable, and make them want to stay away, which is really harmful to them.

Unprincipled obedience is not equal to filial piety, but should be a heartfelt concern and respect. There is nothing terrible about quarreling between relatives. What is terrible is silence and alienation.

I think I am just the opposite. I was not sensible before, and I always quarreled with my mother and shouted. I realized this problem only after I got married. I think it's unfilial to shout at us again. Before, she always tolerated me helplessly. Now I always coax her and video with them, for fear that they will feel lonely without me. If they can't accompany me, watch more videos and chat!

There is not much difference between my son and me before and after marriage. Maybe he didn't talk to me since he was a child because I was very strict and talked to me less at ordinary times. Chat with me occasionally after marriage, and my daughter-in-law will be jealous and say the three of us. I'm with my son and granddaughter, so as long as my daughter-in-law is at home, I'll talk to my son in the future, and I basically won't chat unless there's something wrong.

Before working, children have to live on their parents because they can't be independent economically, so they are obedient to their parents. Children can be economically independent after work, have more knowledge and understand right and wrong, and parents can listen but not listen. At this time, if parents still want to influence their children, the children will definitely resist, and gradually the children will be alienated from their parents. This is normal.

After the children get married, parents had better find their own position, relax, don't focus on their children, have fun by themselves, help when they need help, participate less when they don't need it, and just live a good life.

I am a mother, and I am also confused about such a problem!

As old people, we don't have to worry about these problems for our children. They have troubles that they don't want us to know, so they talk to us occasionally. Just like when they were young, when there were problems in our work and life, they would bother us again, and we would yell at them and even fight. In this way, we have no worries.