Funny and humorous copy

1. A man stopped at a roadside gas station and did nothing. This caught the attention of the administrator. A few hours later, the administrator couldn't help but ask in surprise: Sir, you have been here for so long. what can I do for you? The man said shyly, I want to quit smoking!

2. Erlang God often warns growling dogs: Never steal the moon, or there will be disaster. Instead, it aroused his curiosity, so he sneaked out to steal food while Jiro was away. Who knows that my stomach hurts just after taking a bite? He crawled home whining and looked at his master with tears in his eyes. However, Erlang Shen raised his leg and swore, you stupid male dog, haven't you heard people say that you are pregnant with the moon? I'll see how you give birth!

My friend just got his driver's license. He is going to drive his girlfriend to Xitang to play. I was afraid that he would have an accident driving too fast, so I reminded him to be careful not to be greedy for a moment's speed and ruin his life. As a result, he blushed and said, nothing. She took medicine.

4. Today, while waiting for the bus on the roadside, a girl who looks like a college student came by. If you want to ask the way, come up and call: uncle. Shit, I'm not thirty yet. Where is it like an uncle? So I clenched my fists: Sister-in-law, what's the matter?

Three daughters of a family are married, and her mother-in-law wants to test who is filial to the three grandfathers. I took my uncle to the backyard pool to chat and pretend that he accidentally fell into the water. My uncle quickly jumped in to save people, and my mother-in-law was moved and bought a Hyundai! I took my second uncle to the pool and pretended to fall into the water. My second uncle was also rescued by diving. My mother-in-law was happy and bought a Passat! I took my uncle to the swimming pool and fell into the water again. My uncle is too scared to swim. What should I do? My mother-in-law drowned alive and my father-in-law bought a Mercedes!

6. I went shopping with my mother today and inadvertently held her hand. My mother's hands were covered with calluses, and I was sad for a while. I asked my mother: Mom, how did you get the calluses on your hands? My mother looked at me indifferently: I played mahjong and touched cards. What else can I do?

7. I got a job and went for an interview. The boss said he believed in Buddhism. I looked at the beautiful bosses and didn't think they believed in Buddhism. After working for a few days, I found that my boss is really an excellent believer. Is this why the food in the canteen is as clear as water? I admire you for being able to do it so well. ...

8. I ate onions at noon that day. It's so hot that my face is red. When the traffic police in Lu Yu saw their blushes, they thought they were drinking, so they rushed over and put their heads in the cab: Drink? I was angry with him, and the traffic police bumped his head against the frame and went out. I wonder if it smells that bad?

9. My daughter-in-law wants to eat hand-grabbed cakes. I put on my coat and am going to the small shop downstairs. Behind him came the daughter-in-law's intimate exhortation: in the big night, the shop will come back when it is gone, so don't go to the convenience store to buy it! My in the mind a quiver, this bitch is telling me, is clearly a reminder!

10. Someone asked me, if you give me10 million, but let my best friend eat shit once, will I? I thought about it and said, can I give you10 million? I have ten best friends.

1 1. When I was in college, a roommate said that his family sold a cow to pay the tuition. After that, we were silent and deeply felt that it was not easy for rural families to sell iron in order to pay tuition for their children. Everyone took care of him for the next four years. After graduation, he invited us to her house to play. Looking at the endless pastures and thousands of cattle and sheep, we cried. What qualifications do we poor people have to sympathize with a big peasant successor?

12. I didn't come home after a business trip for more than a month. As soon as I entered the door, my daughter-in-law quickly brought me a pot of ribs. Seeing meat is my favorite, so my daughter-in-law remembers my hobby. I put a piece for my daughter-in-law, and her eyes were wet, so she put another piece in my bowl: honey, you eat. I'm glad, it's delicious! Daughter-in-law sighed for a long time: the refrigerator is broken these days, as long as the ribs are not broken, as long as they are not broken. (This is definitely a daughter-in-law, haha)