On the ghost press in the dark

In fact, I am very lucky, I don't have too much insomnia, and I am not serious enough to lose confidence in life. I often sleep as soon as I stick a pillow, and I have no dreams all night.

But at some point in my life, I also felt unbearable insomnia. Although optimistic and positive, there have been some moments when it is difficult to get out by yourself. Although it seems insignificant in retrospect, it was really gloomy at that time.

Recently, I turned to look at Bai's works. In his autobiography Pain and Happiness, there is an article about pain, mind or body. "In a person's life, there are often several bitter wars in his heart. In the eyes of outsiders, you are no different in war than in peacetime. After work, it may only be more silent. Occasionally there will be weird smiles, but everyone in the crowd has their own worries. These clues are rarely seen, so it is destined that only you will taste the taste of this war. " This may be the essence of loneliness.

In those sleepless days, we all struggled with ourselves. At that time, the tedious event that stirred my heart was the sky, and I seemed to be still subject to it. Then casually come and go in the daytime life, as indifferent as countless others.

At that time, I couldn't help but wonder if the strangers passing by left in a hurry. They were like themselves in the dark, upside down.

Later, I suddenly understood that people often say that life is hard and it is not easy to live. We are all lonely passers-by, so it is too difficult to walk in the moon. Muttered, "Why don't you sing and walk if you don't listen to the sound of leaves beating in the Woods?" Bamboo poles and sandals are more dexterous than riding horses. What's to be afraid of? Perilla's fate is more tortuous than anyone else. Countless sleepless nights of self-support and painful persistence have made our proud and open-minded life legend.

In fact, thanks to those who walk hopelessly in the cold wind in the wilderness, it is the pain that makes people full. After an unknown transformation, you can no longer be proud of the self-obsession that a life is experiencing, or laugh at it in ignorance, and you can no longer ask the soul who is addicted to the deep sea with harsh and perfect arguments. Everyone is the protagonist of his own life. What matters is not the event itself, but whether the ripples aroused by the event will hit the hidden spiritual gap and devour all silent hopes and dreams.

When my senior year is about to graduate, the air is filled with the clouds of tension and confusion. As psychology says, the biggest psychological problem of young people is constant anxiety. Everyone is sad for the coming departure, and at the same time, they have to tell each other the unknown destination.

In our dormitory building, several young people, without reaching a settlement with themselves, jumped down from the sixth floor to bid farewell to this heartless and beautiful person. It seems to be contagious, jumping three times a month. These terrible moments happened in the silent night. When I walked past the place where the girls took off, I only lamented that they were stupid, and I also blamed them for being selfish.

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to feel scared. None of us has the right to judge others' choices. Time has taught me that there are always unreasonable and unimaginable moments in life. We can applaud the tenacity of some people, but we can't tell others how to escape and surrender, because every cowardly coward is largely pushed to the edge of weightlessness by shallow accusations.

I think, those unknown nights, these young lives stood at the trembling window, and their hearts trembled even more. They tell themselves the beauty of the world over and over again, but they can't resist the powerful force of their mental suffering. If someone had told them firmly in their ear that I would be all right, and someone had not hesitated to give them a hug and make them believe in warm company, it would not have been such an ending.

When we sleep, we should all have had the experience of "ghost pressing the bed", which seems to be a dream. Facing the most terrible situation alone, we keep running and struggling, but we can't escape. We also vaguely realize that this is a dream and are determined to pinch ourselves or keep hurting ourselves, hoping to wake up as soon as possible. After waking up, the feeling of panic and fear went deep into the bone marrow, as if it were beside me.

Insomnia and depression, like "ghosts in bed", are shallow and deep. For people with insomnia, every night is a disaster. For depression, every moment of life is a disaster. They don't know how to find the harbor of life. They work hard, but they are hopeless. So, if you meet such people, please help them find hope sincerely.

Please also learn to desensitize to the truth of life. In this world where there is love and hate between good and evil, may your innate amplifier amplify those situations that deserve to be embraced, and hope that the protection created by the corner of life can take you against all hardships. Bai prepared for war in the front line of all major events, saw countless evils and experienced countless helplessness. But some beauty is enough to illuminate all his sorrows, such as the simple smile of Brazilian football teenagers, the simple kindness of people who moved China, the silent persistence and self-evident tacit understanding of the companions who fought side by side.

I hope every soul struggling in the dark can find a peaceful place and an outlet to talk. Can have a heart to accompany them, can simply talk and chat.

Sour

A sincere writer runs amok in the poetry of life.

WeChat official account search (echo-yuyan) Rosa, as I grew up, there will be various electronic materials from time to time.