You are going to be a mother, please be prepared to be a single mother.

Do you remember how you felt when you first knew you were pregnant? Surprise, emotion, tension, fear, regret ...?

In any case, when you decide to press the OK key and let a new life start his journey, you should understand that there is no delete key from now on.

He/she came into this world through you. Although you can't decide his life direction, you have the responsibility to protect his happiness before he comes of age.

If he really chose you to be his mother voluntarily, do you think he will be satisfied with his choice in the future? I dare say that after reading this article, at least the probability will be greatly improved.

1

In most parenting scenes, the mother's contribution is much higher than that of the father.

The popularity of the words "warm man" and "father" may indicate that male creatures such as "daughter slave" and "son slave" do exist in the world, but mothers must not get too involved.

When a man becomes a father, his sense of responsibility will explode immediately? Children will remember anything that happened? Everything can take the place of mother except breastfeeding?

The experience of most people who have been there tells you that breastfeeding is definitely the responsibility of the mother. Only a gentle and patient mother can burp the baby to sleep. Bathing and touching are of course the mother's specialty. The bedtime story lullaby is also the mother's heart sound. Taking the baby out to play is definitely the mother's sense of security. ...

So, besides all the mothers, what reason do you have for your father to come? What's more, my father is often clumsy and busy at work, and he has to brush his mobile phone when he has a little leisure.

/kloc-it is difficult to get pregnant in October, but the real hard work after the baby is born has just begun.

After the birth of a child, the ideal situation is that the father of the child has both money and leisure, and has the heart to take care of his wife and children; Secondly, if you have enough money and are lucky, please rest assured that the nanny will take care of all kinds of trivial matters at the beginning of parenting, or try to share housework after work and be caring and attentive; The worst thing is that I don't have the money to ask for foreign aid. I just want to be a shopkeeper, just like a single-parent family.

Can you accept the last one? I hope you are exhausted and don't collapse. After all, in that case, you are the world to your children. I hope you can exert your super powers with strong tenacity and patience, and try your best to love your children and yourself. As for the similar choice of jumping off a building with a child, the child is definitely unacceptable.

2

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Father's love for children often takes a longer time to practice and is constantly sublimated in long-term interaction.

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Maybe you've seen many celebrities share their excited speeches on social media for the first time as fathers, vowing to do something in the future. Some of them are genuine loving fathers, but more fathers are not familiar with the routines in the ideal script and will be moved and surprised at the moment they see their children. As for how to internalize every move, surprise and satisfaction into future parenting actions, people are often at a loss.

Although from the point of view of blood relationship, the degree of intimacy between father and mother is exactly the same, but the reality is:

Most mothers with children can always catch their children crying at the first time, even in the middle of the night, they will turn over like a conditioned reflex, while many fathers can sleep peacefully when their children cry.

Being a parent for the first time, the mother can quickly find out the baby's favorite way to appease and understand the baby's needs. After working for half a year, my father is still all thumbs holding the baby. After changing diapers for more than ten minutes, he finally had to let his mother do it.

Let's just say that we need to accept the natural differences of species. In addition, men are better at doing extensive and mechanical things, coupled with the division of labor differences in traditional society, which makes many men subconsciously acquiesce and accept that caring for children is a woman's bounden duty, instead of the male chauvinism thought derived from it, but think that they are clumsy and unable to change, so they have no confidence to actively cooperate.

Even if you meet a father who is willing to cooperate and very motivated, mothers will inevitably be full of hatred for steel. Therefore, there is no other way to make psychological expectations at this stage than to demonstrate patiently and provide more opportunities for trial and error.

three

Dad's company is indispensable, even the pig teammates should unite, and the method is very important.

Psychologists have found that 20% of people who get good grades rely on personal efforts, and 80% of the factors depend on the influence of their fathers. Cultivating children's inner richness is really inseparable from their father's company.

However, according to the data of the Children's Department of the United Nations Women's Federation, at least 50% fathers have been absent from their children's growth for a long time. Some of them are caused by the long-term separation between the two places or the long-term business trip of the father, and some fathers and sons can meet every day and still miss the growth of their children. So what should a mother do to win the intimate relationship between father and child?

▲ For fathers to actively participate in child-rearing, mothers should encourage more, avoid excessive pursuit of perfection in details, and do not have clear goals. As long as you are willing to hug the baby more, don't ask too much, as long as the baby doesn't protest; Taking a bath is equivalent to getting wet in the water and fishing it out. Don't be angry yet, let him watch the whole process next time. It doesn't matter if you wash more or less milk powder. If the water temperature is right, you can praise it appropriately. The more times you have, the better you will grasp it. ...

▲ Don't overestimate the consciousness and understanding of fathers. Sometimes mom is too busy to be busy at once, and dad just can't see anything that needs help at all. At this time, my mother needs to put down her expectation of tacit understanding and give instructions directly. Of course, it is best to avoid imperative expressions. Although the style of female Chinese paper is very popular in recent years, in fact, in a high probability, both men and women prefer tofu mouth and tofu heart, and the gentle words between parents are also a better influence on the baby.

▲ Don't take the so-called expert research data as a reference, and rigidly limit dad's daily parent-child companionship time. How many minutes I spend with you every day and how many times I spend with my children every week are just a reference value. Dad who can fully meet these reference standards is basically fine, and those who can't meet the expected goals will only be more broken. What is more important is not the length of companionship, but the quality of companionship. Which do you think is more useful, a father who spends half a day with his children while brushing his mobile phone or a father who spends an hour with his children?

▲ As long as it is not too off track and there are no hidden dangers and dangers, fathers' creative parenting still needs to be praised with one eye closed. Differences in ways of thinking and gender often lead fathers to take care of their children in some ingenious ways, such as biting plush toys in their mouths to amuse their children, and tying them tightly to the bed for fear that they will fall off the bed. It is said that a man is always a child at heart, and it is more conducive to the development of children's nature to let his father take care of them.

four

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If single parents are inevitable, please take your children and accept the reality bravely. I believe that single mothers can also raise happy children.

No one marries for divorce, and no one doesn't want their children to get the best love in the world. Willing to make sacrifices for their children has been a tradition of China's parents for thousands of years. How many of our parents in the previous generation often talked about "If it weren't for you, your father and I would have divorced"? Some people who say these words still live together in the noisy life, while others have lived like the most familiar strangers for decades.

It is meaningless to sacrifice your youth or even your life just to give your child a formal and complete home.

How to make children feel happy at home when they are wronged and resentful every day? Therefore, when marriage can't continue, don't take what you think is good for your children as the most correct choice. Don't despair of life as long as you don't completely lose your ability to make a living. As long as a single mother solves her economic problems and has an optimistic heart, where will her children go?

Women are weak and mothers are strong. This simple eight-character mantra can only be understood by people who have been mothers. May you protect the most important ferry in your child's life with love and wisdom, and may you and your child fulfill each other and realize another transformation through their life experiences as mothers.