Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Xiangxiang lemon, tell me about it.

Xiangxiang lemon, tell me about it.

1, the happiest thing for men is that their wives have their own children. . . . .

In the country of dung beetles, selling dung can be successful.

Sometimes I am as optimistic as a fart, always thinking that I can shake the earth.

5, the four evils of the new era, Toyota chassis, developers' real estate, stock market, ex-boyfriend's hard disk.

6. The heart is full of love, and all the beautiful women in the world are lovers.

I like you for no reason, but I don't like anything about you.

8. Only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

9, as the saying goes: double happiness; But as the saying goes, it never rains but it pours

10 Only a liar is sincere in the world, because he really lied to you!

1 1. If I were a princess, I would save a frog, but all I met were toads.

12, if you are a lemon, don't always stare at the sweetness of watermelon.

13, if fate grabs your throat, you scratch fate's armpit.

14, is it sad to walk in tea? Not sad! What's really sad is that people cheated my teacup away when they left.

15, like sand, buried each other, and finally came out, it became a mess!

16, money is like water, nothing will die of thirst, and too much will drown.

17, in fact, people's looks are divided into two categories: one is natural beauty; One is natural inspiration.

18, beautiful women are like handicrafts in the window. Many people appreciate it, but only one person can buy it.

19, are you a cosmetic contact lens? Why should I take you seriously?

20. Yesterday is an abandoned check, tomorrow is an unexpired deposit, and only today is your disposable cash.

Maybe I am really a pig, a pig that can't eat but can sleep.

1. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren.

If I can open the plug-in, I really want to brush my heart.

3. Like a child curled up in a lonely corner. Waiting for you to say: I love you.

4. If the sky is no longer blue, will the clouds be different?

I can't let anyone be my whole life. I can't get deeper and deeper. I can't do this anymore. I can't miss you every day.

6. You make me want eternal love.

7. Say no love, but can you really let it go?

8. If you need me, don't call me.

9. Have you in a limited time.

10, maybe I am really a pig, a pig that can't eat but can sleep.

1 1. What about hypocrisy? What about reality? This is not the same as living. 1, as long as you can cry, crying is a symbol of healing!

12, I like you, it's none of your business. I'll try it if I like it.

13, the reason why women grow old quickly is because men always say that their wives are yellow-faced women outside! ~~

14, don't run away without me, okay?

15, many things are always like this, only to find that they are missing when looking for them.

16, I only love people who love me, because I don't know how to love someone who doesn't love me, and I don't know where to start.

17, no matter who he is, no matter how he is, as long as it is good for us, we must find a way to get him to work for us!

18, do I take myself too seriously or do you take me seriously?

19, draw a smiling face that belongs to you and put it in a story that always has an ending.

20. Every time I need company, I find that some people can't find it, some people shouldn't, and some people can't.

If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take (marry) yours.

If a drop of water falls from the sky, it is a tear I miss you; If two drops of water fall from the sky, it is that I love you and am ecstatic; If there are countless water drops in the sky, it is ... Forget it, it's raining.

Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There will be at most three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

Do you know why we are destined? We knew each other as early as 1000 years ago. It was autumn, and you ran with me in the wind, leaving your teeth marks on me. This has become an eternal story. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

Late at night, the Boeing 737 pilot went home and knocked at the door. The wife asked: Who? The pilot said humorously: 737 requesting landing! Suddenly a man in the room shouted: Roger that, 777 will take off immediately to make room for you.

If there are no flowers, spring will be lonely, if there is no passion, the four seasons will be mediocre, if there is no me, you will lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, the rabbit will ask, "Who should I compete with?"

You come from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I come from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your hairy hand! Love makes us walk upright.

Thank you for the flowers, dear. When your wedding anniversary comes, I will also send you a bouquet.

If I have seven apples in my left hand and eight apples in my right hand, it can be concluded that I have … a pair of big hands.

There is no heart, no money, no money, no love, no fate, and some are getting divorced.

You can't add water to milk, but you can add milk to water; You can't smoke when you pray, but you can pray when you smoke.

Pigs are very useful animals. Pork can be eaten, bristles can be used as brushes, pigskin can be used as leather products, and names can also be used to curse people.

My wife said I was paranoid and took me to see a psychiatrist. I gave the doctor a dozen pieces of advice from office decoration, but the stubborn donkey didn't listen.

I drink very sparingly. Before I drink, I will mark a scale on the cup in advance, and then wait until the wine in the bottle is flush with the scale before drinking a drop. Moreover, in many cases, I won't drink before drinking the scale.

I used to have everything: status, money, beauty … but my wife found out … I had to smoke behind my father's back when I was a child, and I had to hide from my son when I grew up.

I never eat duck tongue. The things taken out of the duck's mouth are too dirty. I want to eat scrambled eggs.

A bean fell. It's discouraging and frustrating. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "pig encourages (chocolate) beans".

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you, only to find out after trying to find you: mom! Our wings are on the same side.

If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I am a car and you are a driver, will you drive (marry) me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely marry you.

I want to be an ostrich.

I want to be quiet, listen to the sound of raindrops falling outside the window, and don't think about any unsolved mysteries tomorrow! Just lie quietly and don't worry about those unfinished expectations! Be a low-key ostrich, bury yourself in the corner of this restless world, let others forget me, just like an exiled soul, I don't expect to find my body!

I want to be an ostrich.

1. Today is 20xx65438+1October 29th, the second day of Chinese New Year. My animal year, the year of the rooster. Although it's the New Year, I'm really unhappy. I may have a holiday. My heart is so tired. Everything could have been fine, but such an embarrassing thing happened. I want to choose amnesia. I want to be an ostrich, an ostrich that doesn't have to face anyone. I hope everything will be fine. I want to cry. I really want to cry.

Second, if there is a next life: I want to be an ostrich. When I am hungry, I will come out to look for food. Go to bed when you are sleepy, and bury your head deeply when you are in danger, so my life will be much easier.

Third, I have imagined and planned my future countless times, but I never thought it would be like this! Too much expectation and beauty bring endless pain! Dare not think, also unexpected, I want to be an ostrich and bury myself!

Actually, I want to say, I don't want to be an ostrich, I want to follow my inner thoughts.

I want to be a happy ostrich. Bury your head in the sand, bake the warm sunshine, and so, be melted, be melted.

6. My friend asked me why I was missing. I didn't, but I want to be an ostrich. I can bury my head in the ground and don't have to look at anything or listen to anything.

I want to be an ostrich completely, but some places have to come again and again, which is really annoying.

When I am depressed and can't write a manuscript, when my mind is blank, I hope I can face difficulties instead of being an ostrich. Every time I don't want to write a manuscript, I will take it out to encourage myself. I think I can do it anytime, right?

I want to be a strong cockroach, but I'm really too tired to move. I just want to find a quiet place, and I don't know anyone. I can hide and be an ostrich quietly.

Ten, I want to be an ostrich, regardless, covering my head, and then domineering said: Who cares who you are, what do I care?

1 1. I feel very hurt. I want to shield everything and be an ostrich head that escapes from the dross. It's embarrassing but useful.

The reality is too cruel. I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand.

This carnival is very attractive, especially seeing a lot of rock bands. I believe it will be crazy in such a rock world. I want to plunge into the sand and be a quiet ostrich rock. I have too many feelings and like rock.

I want to be an ostrich, bury my head in the sand and pretend that nothing happened. If you can find me, I hope you can hug me and give me a lot of love and security. I will thrive, become warmer and more mature, and become the best little girl in the world.

Fifteen, sometimes Japanese clothes will be silent. If you click in, there will be a sound. I brushed it at noon. There is no sound, and I don't care. I just clicked in, and then there was a loud black laugh from the silent office. I want to be an ostrich. ......

16. Never mention those unpleasant topics to me. I want to be an ostrich.

I have never felt so tired and at a loss. I feel really old. It's time to be an ostrich. ...

18. The secular world is so powerful that I can't think of changing it until you grow up. At this moment, I just want to be an ostrich, bury my head in soft sand, know nothing about the world, and don't have to face and solve what will happen next, even if I am a madman who will only wait for tranquilizers. If I can, I want to write a resignation letter with only the title and go wandering beautifully.

Running away can't solve the problem, but I want to be an ostrich.

20. What I can't get is always in turmoil, and what I am favored is fearless-I really don't want to think about the future. I just want to live in the present and always be an ostrich, but you broke my shell and I have been hiding in it.

Twenty-one, I want to go far away again. I used to feel brave and strong. Who knows I just want to be an ostrich in my heart? I want to see Meili, feel the feeling of difficulty breathing at high altitude, and see my former self, the brave girl.

22. For those outstanding rock singers, I express my envy for sticking to China's strength and China's music. I want to bury my head in the sand and be a quiet ostrich. As a professional musician, I must not miss such a music feast. Zheng Jun also came to the scene and brought us music. I really like music. I hope I can grasp it well. It must be nice to have a rock concert in the Gobi desert.

Twenty-three, in fact, many troubles are comparison. I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand when I encounter difficulties. My biggest wish now is that my son can be admitted to high school. If he fails, I won't go home for the New Year this year, so I won't be angry with a bunch of irrelevant people when I come back every year.

I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand. Ask or not ask.

Twenty-five, I have been unwilling to face some facts for a year. I like to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand. I feel that there is nothing if I don't face it. Actually, all the time. I think it should be clear that life has been so painful. It doesn't matter how much. I can bear it anyway. So face it, face the fact that you don't love me.

Twenty-six, maybe at a certain stage of life, you will change unconsciously. I want to be an ostrich in the desert. When I hear something that makes me unhappy, I bury my head in the desert, pretend that I can't hear or see, and immerse myself in my fantasy world.

Twenty-seven, they have been seriously creating. I want to plunge into the sand, be a quiet ostrich on the Gobi Desert and sing wildly. I'm very happy to think about it. Go and have a look at it at once. Rock music also belongs to my generation of young people. I like listening to Buyi Band's songs very much. I like that they have always been particularly fond of rock music and have been on the way to support them.

Twenty-eight, sometimes, I force myself not to know how to tell! Sometimes, I take myself too seriously! In the face of everything, why do you want to force yourself like this? But you will never understand! Facing the reality, I want to be an ostrich, but I am forced to be a hedgehog! Who doesn't want to be weak? Dear Miss Li, you are really tired, aren't you? Stop and be nice to yourself.

29. I want to be an ostrich and bury myself. I don't want to know anything and I don't want to face anything.

There is helplessness in life, but whenever the sun illuminates the sky, you have to face the reality. I want to be an ostrich and take the time to avoid those world of mortals.

I must be ill. I feel sad and want to cry every few days. I am obviously unhappy, and I have to do something to laugh at others. I hate this kind of thing. I want to be an ostrich.

32. I think I have to make it clear that neither asking for trouble nor being an ostrich to avoid problems is the solution.