Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Jia Ling's 20 16 Spring Festival Evening essay "Year after year" is in urgent need of thanks.
Jia Ling's 20 16 Spring Festival Evening essay "Year after year" is in urgent need of thanks.
Audience: Goddess
Jia Ling: But as your goddess, I haven't been home for three years. I don't know. Three years later, how is my family? I remember my strongest father (Xu Juncong); The most masculine second uncle (Yu Bu); The oldest and most fashionable aunt in the village (Zhang Xiaowen). I'm back. Wait, but let them know that in the past three years, I have changed from a waiter in a small restaurant to an old waiter in this restaurant. Will they laugh at me?
Audience: No.
Jia Ling: They certainly won't, but I think they will. So what will happen if I tell a white lie and say that I am doing well? !
The first case:
Jia Ling: Auntie. ......
Aunt: Jia Ling is back.
Dad: Daughter.
Uncle: Show it to uncle. Jia Ling is really nice! Fat again!
Aunt: Don't listen to Uncle, really! Let aunt have a look. Well, I did gain weight.
Dad: Being fat is a good thing. Being fat proves that you earn a lot of money outside.
Aunt: I don't think I can earn 500 million this year.
Seat ......
Uncle: Don't tell uncle when you come back. Uncle will pick you up in the car.
Jia Ling: Uncle, did you buy a car?
Uncle: The village chief sold it to me cheaply.
Jia Ling: The village chief is very kind to you.
Uncle Secretary: Is there anything delicious? The pedal is not broken. Can you sell it to me? (Bicycle pedal) Haha ......
Auntie: Go to the side, and suit each other. Ling, I often hear from your father that you are doing well, don't you?
Jia Ling: Not bad.
Aunt: Still modest. Your father told me that Jia Ling is the big boss now.
Dad: Yes, I did.
Jia Ling: Dad, why did you tell your aunt this?
Aunt: I'm not the only one who told my aunt. Tell everyone in the village.
Dad: Yes, I did.
Uncle: Jia Ling, your father is in our village now, so that means you are still alive. People who didn't like talking before not only liked talking, but also showed off in an ostentatious manner there.
Dad: Jia, who do you think shows off in an ostentatious manner?
Jia Ling: Dad, please hold back.
Dad: Stay over there. I will sit next to my daughter. annoying
Uncle Secretary: Exactly, Big Brother.
Dad: Look how much it costs now.
Jia Ling: That's good.
Dad: Sure, I'll tell you. My daughter's job is good in Shanghai. What are the main advantages? Tell them its benefits. ......
Jia Ling: Well, the company is developing really smoothly. There are many fields involved. Such as education, catering, logistics and so on.
Aunt: Why do you feel so much better than me?
Jia Ling: Auntie, why did you suddenly praise me? When you praise me, it seems that you want to ask me something.
Aunt: What are you talking about here? Aunt won't ask you for anything. Auntie, I'm so happy for you.
Jia Ling: That will do.
Aunt: Not only my aunt is happy for you, but even my little niece is happy for you. Speaking of my little niece, she needs your help.
Jia Ling thought, let me stop. It seems that mentioning my little niece is a trap, and it is true to ask me for help. No, I have to change the subject first.
Jia Ling: Auntie, don't say that yet. I heard that your family bought a big German shepherd. It's beautiful, isn't it?
Aunt: Oh, my big German shepherd is not only beautiful, but also human.
Jia Ling: Really?
Aunt: Speaking of my big German shepherd, who do you think he likes best?
Jia Ling: Who do you like?
Aunt: My little niece. Speaking of my little niece, I really need your help.
Jia Ling thought again: one leng followed by another. It is said that the city routine is deep and I want to go back to the countryside. It seems that the rural routine is not shallow. Forget it, I can't hide. Ask anything you want.
Jia Ling: Aunt, what do you want with me?
Aunt: Well, she didn't take the college entrance examination this year. But the results are not ideal. See if you can help with the exam. Just help the serious, find a serious one.
Jia Ling: No, how many points did she get?
Aunt: 260
Jia Ling: That's too low. How can I get 260?
Aunt: I forgot to add English and math. Look at that.
Jia Ling: Plus?
Aunt: 270
Dad: It doesn't seem so good this time.
Jia Ling: That's it. It is not easy.
Dad: What's the matter, Ling? It's not easy. You have to work hard. How good your aunt used to be to you. Do you remember when you were a child, once you fell from the mountain and were covered with injuries? The first person to take you to the hospital is your aunt. Have you ever thought about what this is about?
Jia Ling: Because she pushed it.
Dad: Then she didn't do it on purpose? Right? I tell you, Ling, you can't forget your roots.
What is Ben? We are born from the same root, so why should we speculate with each other?
Jia Ling: OK, forget it, Dad, I'll do it!
Dad: That's right.
Jia Ling: I don't know if I can do it.
Dad: It must be done.
Uncle Secretary: It's very kind of Jia Ling. She won't forget her roots when she succeeds. My brother won't. It's also far from where you are in Shanghai.
Jia Ling: What happened to him?
Uncle: I don't want to talk about it.
Jia Ling: Great.
Uncle: Two days ago, I wanted to buy a car. That car is easy to buy, so I can't get the Shanghai license plate. Didn't you buy that car for nothing? He bought it. What can he do?
Jia Ling thought again: Shanghai license plate? Then I really can't do it No, I have to do it first.
Jia Ling: Uncle, then he really bought it for nothing. No one can get a Shanghai license.
Juwan: Yes, I heard. You have to shake the number. There are many processes.
Jia Ling: Yes.
Uncle secretary: Shanghai license, who wants to do it?
Jia Ling: Didn't my second uncle ask me for a Shanghai license?
Uncle: Uncle is confused. Did your father say he could do it for you?
Jia Ling: Uncle, I misunderstood you. Anything else, just let me know.
Uncle Secretary: Get an account. Well, they say that with an account, the license will be easy to handle. What about the rest? We'll just run by ourselves.
Jia Ling: No, uncle. Do you want to register?
Uncle: OK, have one.
Jia Ling: No, uncle, it's not as simple as you think.
Uncle: Why, Ling. Don't want to help my uncle? (talking and looking at Jia Ling's father)
Jia Ling: No, uncle.
Dad: What's the matter, Ling? Can't you do this little thing?
Jia Ling: I can't.
Dad: At the beginning, our household registration was signed in Huludao from Shanghai. I said I moved here. This is now moved back from Huludao, why not do a few things? It's just that Shanghai is too big for me to find the north. Otherwise, I'll run for two days by myself and figure everything out. I tell you, people must not forget their roots. What is Ben?
Jia Ling: Dad, it's like this. Shall I try my best?
Dad: That's right.
Aunt: It's very kind of Jia Ling. Good people, promising, don't forget their roots.
Uncle: That's true.
Aunt: You say whoever marries us Xiaoling will be unlucky.
Uncle: Yes.
Dad: Wait a minute. To tell you the truth, my daughter has grown up now. Follow my vision. Most people don't like it.
Jia Ling: Yes, it is.
Uncle: Leave it to me, big brother.
Aunt: Just say our children. An advantage. Only talk about the image, not to mention; Just say this number, can you put it aside for a while? Just say, just say who you want.
Jia Ling: So I don't have any advantage?
Aunt: How could I not? How white these shoes are. All right, I'll take care of it. The richest man in the east of the village. Boss Wang's eldest son is not married yet. Shall I call him for you?
Uncle: Ah Fu, come here.
Alfred: Hello, my name is Alfred. Nice to meet you.
Jia Ling thought to herself: What is this situation? Introduce me to him. Potato figure, eggplant face. Is he a crop? I hope he doesn't like me.
Ah Fu: Auntie, that will do. A big face and a big body can give birth to a son.
Aunt: What do you think?
Jia Ling: No way.
I can't lie to them that I'm doing well, so what if I tell them that I'm doing badly? )
Aunt: Jia Ling is back.
Jia Ling: I'm back.
Uncle: Ling, that's good. Put on weight again.
Aunt: Don't listen to the second uncle. Let aunt have a look. Well, she is really fat.
Dad: Life is good, just be fat. Come, sit down.
Uncle: Jia Ling, don't tell your uncle when you come back. Uncle will pick you up in the car.
Jia Ling: No, the pedal hasn't been repaired yet.
Aunt: I am sensible. I always hear from your father that you are doing well, right?
Dad: I tell you, my daughter works in Shanghai.
Jia Ling: Dad, uncle and aunt. I have something to tell you. Actually, I did a terrible job.
Aunt: What do you mean?
Jia Ling: I just don't know what happened. It's so hard outside now.
Aunt: Do you get along well?
Jia Ling: Not bad. I didn't have it anyway. School-running ability and Shanghai hukou. Aunt, I want to tell you the truth. Don't laugh at me, okay?
Aunt: Ling, look at what you said.
Jia Ling: Will that aunt laugh at you?
Aunt: You said.
Jia Ling: Actually, I worked as a waiter in a school cafeteria for three years. After three years of experience, I became an experienced waiter.
Auntie: So you said it involved education before?
Jia Ling: The school canteen.
Aunt: Catering?
Jia Ling: Mixed rice.
Aunt: Logistics?
Jia Ling: Delivery.
Aunt: Wait a minute, so you are talking about education, catering and logistics?
Jia Ling: Deliver meals in the school cafeteria.
Jia Ling Narrator: What is this? Didn't you agree not to laugh at me? Then what's this? Happy for me from the bottom of my heart? Forget it, the most important thing now is not to make my father feel too bad.
Dad: Allah is so sad.
Jia Ling: Dad.
Dad: Don't call me dad, I don't have your mother. Let me ask you something. You told me that you bought a house in Shanghai now. Is it false?
Jia Ling: It's fake.
Dad: Then you told me that you became the boss of your company. Is that fake?
Jia Ling: It's fake.
Dad: well, even if these are all fake. Then tell me, is it true that you are dating Hugh?
Jia Ling: This fact really fooled you.
Uncle: Leave it alone, Jia Ling. I'll explain to your father. Brother, don't be angry yet. You have to think more about your children.
Jia Ling: Listen to my second uncle.
Jia Ling: Jia Ling, you have to understand it from another angle.
Jia Ling: Exactly!
Uncle Secretary: Is this fate? Her life is not good. Fate is doomed to be worthless. Whatever!
Jia Ling: Dad, what are you talking about? Sit down.
Dad: You stand there and listen to the second uncle. Your uncle has been judging people since he was a child.
Jia Ling: Are you kidding? He has been divorced three times. That's what they did to me.
Dad: Come on, second child, stop talking nonsense. Say it.
Uncle: Since our children are not like this. That bastard can't mix. In my humble opinion, just give her to me and we'll take care of her.
Dad: The second child is right. Just stay at home. Don't go anywhere.
Jia Ling: What am I doing at home?
Uncle Secretary: If you really can't, get married. Cooking, washing clothes, having children.
Dad: Is she unlucky? Who can marry her?
Uncle: Her aunt, help her.
Aunt: I'll handle it. The eldest son of boss Wang, the richest man in the village, is not married yet.
Jia Ling: No.
Aunt: I'll help you find him. Fu, come here.
Alfred: Hello, my name is Alfred. Nice to meet you.
Jia Ling Narrator: What is this? Do you want to marry him even if you pretend to be poor? Potato figure, eggplant face. He is a crop. I hope I'm so poor that he doesn't like me.
Ah Fu: Auntie, that's no good.
Aunt: Then who can?
Alfred: You can have a son with a big face and a big plate.
Aunt: What do you think?
Jia Ling: No way.
Jia Ling Narrator: Say whether you are doing well or not. What should I do? Or I'll tell them the truth. Forget it. What may not happen then? Nobody is to blame, just confuse yourself. What home will it be? What year will this year be? Go back to Shanghai to continue working.
Uncle: Jia Ling, why don't you come home? Your daughter.
Jia Ling: Dad.
Uncle: Let Uncle have a look. He has gained weight again.
Aunt: Don't listen to my second uncle, it's really fat.
Dad: Life is good, just be fat. Go inside.
Jia Ling: Dad, uncle and aunt. I need to talk to you.
Dad: What are you talking about?
Jia Ling: Actually, I have been in Shanghai for three years, and life is not what you think.
Dad: What's that like?
Jia Ling: Standing on a tall building every day, looking at the little ants on the ground, their heads are very big; Their legs are thin; They are holding Apple phones; They wear Nike Adi; I will be late for work; They are in a hurry. Year after year flies, or that little savings. I still can't afford many things I like. Life is always in trouble. I'm not used to it. I quietly made a promise to take her to Mongolia. Neither humble nor slow, maybe that's what life should be like ... maybe I'll find the freedom I want after I'm 60. This is my life. Not very good, but not very bad. I always think that there is still a dream, in case it comes true. For so many years, I dare not tell you the truth, for fear that you will be sad; I'm even more afraid to tell you lies, for fear that I can't do what you ask me to do; Sometimes I'm even afraid to go home. But now I also want to understand that everything needs to be faced bravely. You can say whatever you want.
Dad: The food is getting cold. Eat quickly.
Uncle: What's the matter? Tell uncle next time, and uncle will pick you up in the car.
Aunt: Exactly. Are you dating someone?
Jia Ling: No?
Dad: Forget it, I tell you it's useless!
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