Talking about the interesting points of qq red envelopes

1. The doorman thought about it and said, Sir, as far as I know, no stranger has visited your wife.

2. Without victory, there is no failure. My house is out of power, and he hasn't received my wife's electricity bill.

There is a beautiful chicken who likes to "comfort" herself with cucumbers. One day, she was suddenly angry. She wanted some leeks, so she went to the market vendor to buy ham. When the boss saw a beautiful woman coming to buy turkey legs, he wanted to say that the service was thoughtful.

Today, we came to the Peach Blossom Spring. Peach blossoms are everywhere, and there is a fountain in the middle, which is full of mud. The scenery here is really beautiful!

5. I took the bus the day before yesterday, and a boy in the back row said, "The chrysanthemums are itchy." As soon as I heard it, I thought: Shit, the world is so crazy that you can meet it on the bus. I was about to turn my head to witness its beauty when a boy next to me said, "I think cactus is easy to raise."

6. A hospital is doing B-ultrasound examination. A male staff member told everyone that color B is in room 20 1 and black and white B is in room 202. All patients go to the designated room for examination. At this time, a woman blushed, walked up to the staff and took off her pants and said, doctor, look at what B I belongs to.

7. The husband is extremely happy. At this time, the doorman added: all the people who go to your house to find your wife are acquaintances.

8. A female customer came to the barber shop for a haircut. After washing her hair, she sat on the stool. The stylist asked her, "What does the beauty want to do today?" Just listen to her answer: "No perm, no hair dye, no nutrition, no membership card, no hair accessories, just cut it short." From now on, whoever speaks first is a son of a bitch. Let's start cutting! "

9. He liked her and wrote countless love letters, but she got excellent grades and never looked him in the eye. After graduating from college, she ran into a wall when looking for a job. When she was helpless, she learned that he had started a company and was about to get married. The bride is not as beautiful as her. She wants to save it. He said: You gave me the most painful memories when I was most innocent, and she gave me the most innocent love when I was most miserable. If love is not pure, it will be beautiful and helpless. Super funny sentences, classic funny WeChat. Let's talk about it. . Later, she became his mistress.

10. Last night, after work, I invited my female assistant to dinner. She asked me what to eat, and I let her decide, so she took out her mobile phone and watched it. Suddenly, an ambiguous smile appeared on her face and shyly asked me, "Do you pay the bill? Want to fuck others? " I quickly waved my hand: "We are colleagues, which is not appropriate!" She gave a thoughtful cry. I sighed, which hurt. At night in Shanghai, the crowds are surging and the lights are brightly lit. Only the lonely Hunan-Jiangxi restaurant on the street is left unattended.

1 1. At 9: 30 last night, the community supermarket met a male colleague. He rummaged through my shopping basket and saw a box of condoms. Colleague: "I am very happy to go out to buy TT in the middle of the night!" " I saw him holding a pack of toilet paper in his hand and replied, "You are lonely to buy toilet paper in the middle of the night!" "At this moment, the door came in a beautiful mm.. She went to the counter next to the cashier and said, "Give me two batteries! "So we are evil together. ...

12. At dinner today, my father teased my brother and asked, "Who will you marry when you grow up?" My brother replied, "I want to marry my grandmother." Father asked, "Why did you marry my grandmother?" My brother said, "How can you marry my mother?" My brother replied, "Why can't I marry your mother?"

13. One day, the teacher saw children playing table tennis, and their posture was wrong. The teacher said, "Don't move your hands! Rod movement. " After that, the little friend burst into tears, and the teacher panicked and asked, "Are you swollen? Are you swollen? " Small basin friend said: "I am moved! ! ! ......"

15. Maybe it's an affair, just wrap the ham slices, but I didn't expect that chick to say, "Boss, you treat me like a piggy bank, one by one"! !

16. Enrollment of a college: "Please describe the transition process from girls to women." There is a candidate who has got the three words: person, single, and eight. -comment on writing: wonderful! ! !

17. When I was in primary school, my teacher asked me to write a composition about housework, repeatedly stressing that it should be true. I don't know if everyone will ask for this. On Monday, the teacher asked a classmate to read. He read: I will help my mother wash clothes when I get home. My mother said to go away and play. I said the teacher told me to do it. My mother said that your teacher forced me to do so much ... This is the truest composition I have ever heard.

18. I saw an international news today. A man walked into a convenience store in Louisiana. He took out 20 yuan paper money and asked for change.

19. I eat very strongly and like salt. One day, my roommate asked me: What does the product mean? I ignored him (he likes to ask strange questions) and casually said that it meant eating. Roommate nodded while thinking, like this. A few days later, my girlfriend came to the dormitory to chat with me, and my roommate was lying in bed reading. When I was talking with my girlfriend about taste, she asked me: What is your taste? As soon as my girlfriend finished speaking, my roommate put down the book and sat up to answer. He always emphasized taste. I suddenly turned blue.

20. When the recruits are in the company, they should always shout to everyone ... Once the monitor called the roll, I replied to the monitor that my voice was too low. Punish me for shouting 100 times at the fence. "Go, go, go" hasn't reached 50 times. The fence suddenly fell down and I was so scared that I peed. Did a truck butt come in, and then I heard a voice outside the fence shouting, "Shit! Who the fuck is commanding J8 in the back of the car? ! ! "

2 1. Someone wrote "I have a fever of 49". After the teacher ordered him to correct it, he wrote "I have a fever of 29".

22. At the dinner party, friends are actually talking about the topic of men cooking ducks. I feel bored. I just said to them, "It's the weekend, can we not talk about work?"

23. My wife had a quarrel with the electricity bill collector.

24.b: who won?

25. My wife is dressed beautifully today. An old man selling strawberries stared at it for a long time. The wife proudly said, the strawberry seller has been watching me! Am I attractive today? Husband disagrees: Really? The old man looks at you as if you didn't pay for what you bought yesterday!

Yesterday, I went to the university opposite the company to watch the relay race of the student sports meeting. I saw a boy rushing forward. He was about to hand in the baton when a teacher in front of me shouted, "Hold on! Hold on! You are steady! " Then the two boys paused, looked at each other for half a second, and then hugged and kissed. ...

27. Party A, Party B and Party C are playing poker. Party A plays five hearts, and it's Party B's turn to play cards. Party C calls 2 first and shouts "I am 2!" B was about to play cards when he saw C beat him to it, threw away the 2 in his hand and shouted, "What's your hurry? Go, I'll come 2! " "

28. In biology class, the professor is explaining the sperm structure. When the professor said that the main component of sperm is glucose, a girl stood up and asked, "Then why is it not sweet at all?" The audience was silent, and the professor said calmly, "Because of the feeling of the tongue, the sweet taste buds are on the tip of the tongue, not at the root of the tongue." . . .

I wonder if these will help you. You can go to "Hahahaha 234" to find out. There's more you can see.