Daughter loves to make up for him, and son wants to be a beggar. How difficult is it for the post-80 s Buddha father?

With the liberalization of the three-child policy at the end of May and the recent implementation of the policy of "reducing the burden of homework and off-campus training for students in compulsory education" (double reduction), the determination of the state to encourage young people to have children can be seen.

Young people have many concerns: how can they live if they can't afford a house? Who will bring it when you are born? How to bear the high cost of education? There are always arguments with different views on social platforms.

Here, the cute behavior of human cubs has become the most lethal weapon to convince students, and the will of young people has been passively shaken. If they are so cute, why not have one?

More curious style, the comments in the comment area are all "hahahahahahahahaha" and "laughing out internal injuries", which makes you mistakenly think that you are in a joke group. At first glance, it is really a parenting topic. There is no school district, and there is no chicken baby and tiger mother. I just want to talk to you about the funny daily life with the children after 10.

"Giving birth to a child is a very cautious thing. They read my article and said that having a baby was a joke. But I really want to bring out the happy side through my own experience, and I can't always make the content of selling anxiety popular. " Resolutely stay away from the chicken baby route, said the post-80 s parenting blogger who took the funny wind.

Scraping oil, financial practitioner, middle-aged in literature and art, father of two children. He is called a parenting blogger, but he often calls himself a "parenting blogger" and is raised by a son and a daughter. A new book, What Are Children Thinking, was recently published, which was called "traitor among adult parents", "undercover among parents" and "source of happiness in parenting" by readers.

Son and daughter scrape oil.

His fans range in age from 60-year-old grandmothers to naughty students in grades 5 and 6, which is suitable for all ages. Of course, except for adult parents, most of them are young people aged 18-26.

There are always confused young people asking him: Brother Gua, do you think I should get married? Am I going to have a baby?

His answer is always: I don't recommend marriage, let alone life. Tell a story of myself. You can weigh it yourself.

The following is the dictation of scraping oil.

My name is Shayou, from Beijing. I have a son of 12 years old and a daughter who is going to be 8 years old. I just celebrated my 40th birthday last Wednesday.

On my birthday, my daughter enthusiastically brought me a photo of her riding a bike with a curly monkey. She said it was me. I asked why my hair was brown, and she replied that the black pen was out of water. I was flattered that a father asked his daughter to draw pictures for his birthday. I watched it again soon. What color pen is the fine print on it?

Before Father's Day, my daughter was still expressing her feelings by hand drawing. She gave me a homemade holiday card, which was pasted on the two of us with colored paper and painted with colored pens. I just moved in. She said, "Dad, there is only a pink colored paper, so I will give you a face, because today is Father's Day!" "

I was moved and swallowed hard. I hope she can talk well.

Before becoming a father, no one was a little boy, and he was in high spirits. I used to be young and narcissistic, and my heart was attached to poetry and distance. Until one day I became the father of a girl, choking on a word became a common occurrence, and what's more, it caused great "destruction" to my body and mind.

Scrape oil when you are young

A little girl about my daughter's age especially likes to play makeup games. She often grabs me and paints for me when she can't find anyone. Blue eye shadow and pink blush come directly into your eyes. It is common to wear all kinds of braids, colorful hair clips and a pink rabbit ear as a bunny.

On a father's professionalism: scraping oil after makeup

Once, my daughter wanted to paint my nail polish on a whim. It happened to be Sunday night. I begged gently, stop painting. Dad will go to work tomorrow, and she is very determined. Later, my wife saved the scene and said nothing. I have nail polish remover here. I asked her to paint boldly, pink and green, and each finger has a different color.

After that, I asked my lover to find out the nail polish remover. She looked for it for a long time and finally found it. I am helpless in the face of colorful nails, and I can't pick them off. This guy painted it as thick as paint.

I went to work by subway the next day, and I kept clenching my fist. Just then, my cell phone suddenly rang out of place. I reached out and was about to press the button. A bunch of contemptuous eyes came at me, and my sister unconsciously hid next to me. I know she must think I'm abnormal when she looks at my colorful nails.

After that, in addition to the regular first-aid medicine, nail polish remover has also become one of the regular items in my family.

Later, at Christmas, I plan to give my daughter a present. Thinking that she is so keen on makeup and braiding, I had a brainwave and bought her a wig doll, not the blonde Barbie doll, but a fake head used to practice her hands in the barber shop according to her request. Because of this, I created an article with the highest click-through rate so far, "Adults Don't Always JB", which should be familiar to old readers. It never occurred to me that such a fake head later turned me into a real nerve.

(The following content may cause discomfort, please read it carefully. )

After the head arrived, my daughter had a good time, combing her hair and wearing a hairpin, but she soon got tired of the hairdressing field and directly entered the makeup field. I saw her carefully outline the lips, bangs and eyelashes of her head with colored pens. Although she thinks it's a bit against beauty, she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it.

Am I pretty?

Until one time, I witnessed the process of removing makeup from her head. The scene after she sprayed her face with a watering can is definitely scarier than a horror movie!

But I put up with the thought that she would paint me if she didn't.

But I never imagined that children's tricks would never stop there. Soon, she gave this beloved toy an incredible name: Feng! Get up red!

This is unacceptable to me!

I racked my brains trying to find out the origin of this name, but she didn't have Feng's little friends around her, and she didn't like rural film and television works.

But that is not the point. The point is that if a toy doesn't have a name or a nickname like cute, how to play it is relatively easy to accept. Once it has a Feng-style name, it seems to have fetters and life. As if "there are such people in the world", this feeling of "living with them" is unique.

Therefore, when she made up Feng and called her "red", the scene was unforgettable.

Rhett, are you okay? Red.

Soon, Feng began to appear in every corner of our house without scruple. Because the head is too big for any storage box, it often appears on the chair for eating, the bed for sleeping, and the ground at the door of the toilet when getting up in the middle of the night. I usually try to avoid looking at it when it starts staring at me straight after a while.

But one day I was still scared by it. It was a weekend night. I was going to pack what I wanted to bring when I went out the next day. As a result, I opened the bag and Feng lay quietly inside, staring at it.

This time, I can no longer contain the grievances and fears that have accumulated for a long time. I shouted hysterically to my daughter:

"Take it away! Ho ho! I'm going to kill Feng! ! "

She showed sympathy when she saw my nervous breakdown. She took Feng out of her bag and dragged her back to the house.

This is the price an adult has to pay for being a father. From then on, I had another nickname: Feng, his grandfather.

Tell me about my son. It's much more normal to get along with your son, and you can have a dialogue between men from time to time.

My son is about to start school in grade one. I remember him as a child. Now he turns around and looks like a senior at school. Playing the glory of the king is better than me. His horse has risen to the stars, and I am still platinum.

The son who scraped oil

But what really impressed me about him was several unintentional conversations.

Once I went to pick up my son from school and heard two parents chatting. They say that today's primary school students are more and more clumsy, and it is hard to run a few steps, which is far less flexible than when they were children.

I asked my son, "This is a bit exaggerated." He said, "Well, it's too exaggerated. There are more flexible students in our class. "

I said, "Are you angry? You want me, I won't accept it. "

He said, "Hey, I'm not angry. They didn't talk about me, and I'm not who they say I am. Why should I take the initiative to go up and defy spirit? "

How magnanimous this sounds, as if I haven't heard adults around me say it for a long time. On the contrary, a female stand-up comedian can instantly arouse the anger of millions of adult netizens, which fully shows that adults are sometimes more vulnerable than children.

Of course, this transparent consciousness, if sometimes used on me, often makes me feel that he is my father.

For example, when I tried to discuss the significance of learning with him, I said: I hope you can understand that learning this thing is not for me, not for your mother, but for yourself, so that you can live according to your own wishes and get that comfortable state in the future.

On reflection, he nodded in agreement.

"Well, if you think it makes sense, then you should read more intensively and do your homework well!" Say that finish, I'm ready to go, no longer speak, leaving a cool figure.

He immediately replied, then I want to be a beggar. Do I have to do my homework now? I wonder if he is diogenes's upper body. I'm about to say that famous saying: "I hope you stand aside and don't block my sunshine."

Another time, I took my son to class, and there was a mother and daughter sitting in the back row. My mother was instructing her daughter in her studies, and I could see that the two sides had deep feelings. Suddenly, my mother couldn't hold back her anger any longer and roared out: "What's so hard about this? Why not! " The whole house was stunned.

Later, I asked my son: What would you say if I asked you "Why not"?

He thought for a moment and said, if I can answer why I won't, how can I not?

Irrefutable logic! Indeed, it is also true. If a child has any knowledge but can clearly analyze why he can't, it is really gifted.

In the process of communicating with children, there are many times when I think their ideas are reasonable, as long as you give him enough space to express his ideas.

Young people who want to have children should pay attention to the fact that raising children is a process that needs to admit that they are old and realize their limitations. Many times you find that your life experience is useless, and you can't compete with children in all aspects.

A recent example is that I came across a little game designed by my son in a notebook. An excellent and attractive clap game fully embodies his design talent. I took it myself. I can only shoot 168 a minute, which can be said to be very challenging.

In this era of great educational change, it is doomed that young parents need to show their talents. It is not easy to persist in being a "traitor among adult parents" in the tide of "chicken baby"

Just this week, the "double reduction policy" was officially introduced, and parents also exploded in an instant. Under this trend, parents who could have been "lazy" by paying for classes actually have to do it themselves.

As parents, it is inevitable to raise chickens, but it is not a problem of diodes, and there are not only two choices: beating chicken blood and throwing it.

As a father who loves to play more than children, I still give classes to both my son and daughter, including main courses, music and physical education class.

But I have three principles. First of all, you have to discuss with your children. They are usually unaware of the content of interest classes and can go to school as long as they are not disgusted. In addition, it is necessary to continuously observe whether the child enjoys it. As for how to tell the difference, Stephen King told us a simple and effective method: If the child has no intention to touch it outside the time specified in the study project, then do something else as soon as possible.

Secondly, as one of them, I will participate in their study. For example, when the children are having piano lessons and my brothers and sisters go home to play with their hands, my "naughty" father is bound to participate. At my strong request, they finally brought their crazy old father and played Jay Chou's Xiang Tao together. They played and I contributed a wonderful and rich voice.

Finally, the compensation mechanism, no matter how interesting the extracurricular class is, still occupies the most important play time for children. So no matter how busy I am every week, I will arrange a whole day for my children to do nothing but have fun. Occasionally, there are important things, such as friends' birthdays, and it is rare to have a performance that the whole family likes, so you can skip extracurricular classes.

One message I want to convey to them is that what you have done, including attending remedial classes to make your grades better and attending interest classes to let you know more, may make you feel a little uncomfortable in the process, but our ultimate goal is to make your life happier. If you have something happier now, you can put it in class. Do something happier first, you can't pretend to be the master in your study.

The daughter who scraped oil.

One more thing, I think parents want everyone to be happy. The most important thing is to know how to admit that your children are ordinary people. The sooner they get to know each other, the happier they will be.

Really not, you can think for yourself, "the Monkey King Mama" is a stone that absorbs the essence of heaven, earth, sun and moon; Nezha's mother was pregnant for as long as 168 weeks; Superman's mother took him out of the space capsule and his father will go to heaven. Who's calling?

Admit it, we are all ordinary people, and ordinary people don't necessarily have bad lives.

I think some people have some misunderstandings about having children. They always think that bringing children into this world is the best thing for children in despair. But think about it from another angle. As the people who brought them into this world, can't we learn something from it?

When I was 28, my wife was pregnant with her boss. At that time, I happened to have an opportunity to transfer to Europe. I went as soon as the two of them got married.

However, I am a person without work luck. I just went to catch up with the financial crisis in 2008, and I dropped my salary by 1/5 before I arrived. The workload only increases, and I often work until 90 o'clock before going back to cook alone.

I felt like a total loser at that time. Not only can't make money, but also can't develop my own career and take care of my family.

I often think of my wife seeing me off at the airport. At that time, many leading colleagues went there and gathered together to say some high-sounding farewell words. I tried to push them away, and then I wanted to find my wife in the crowd and say a few words to her.

She is standing far away alone, so I can't ask her to come over. My wife was pregnant for five months, and her stomach could be seen clearly.

This scene often torments me and keeps me awake all night.

Then my son was born. Every time I video with my child, I see him holding him in his arms, watching him grow up little by little, just like a rabbit, then slowly grow hair, two teeth grow under him, and then wriggle around, but I didn't participate in these.

In the third year of working in Europe, I made up my mind to resign and return to Beijing. At that time, my son was almost two years old, not in the state I imagined. I still remember that as soon as he saw me, he immediately covered his face. Actually, he doesn't know me. He doesn't know who the father is in the computer video.

That time should be the saddest time for me. I feel that I have chosen the wrong path all my life.

Later, I found the current company, and the unit asked the newcomer to learn business by sending you to his call center to answer the consultation call.

Because it involves a lot of default consultation, and many customers are financial veterans, the phone calls above 100 every day are basically scolded all the time, so you must respond politely. I compete with myself every day. I thought, why am I so confused?

At that time, I often went home with emotions and had no patience when communicating with my son. Once he was eating next to me and knocked over the bowl. I told him not to knock it over, and then he knocked it over while eating because I broke out. He was over two years old at that time. I yelled at him and got very angry, and then he ran away crying.

After a while, he came back to talk to me and casually played with a toy. I feel very sad in my heart.

I suddenly thought at that time, how much patience I gave others, how much patience I gave outsiders, and how much patience I gave people who were completely meaningless to me. Even though I know clearly that he wants to attack you and insult you, I still want to be polite and talk to him well, but when I face my own children, it will inevitably happen when I grow up. How can I control this emotion?

From then on, I decided that I must try to control my emotions in this way at home and then learn to have some cool space.

When I found that I could talk well, my feelings with my son advanced by leaps and bounds. He began to approach me physically, grab my hair, or climb on me. When I am away, I often ask my father when he will come back. This state is very curable.

I don't care what happens outside. When I got home, I found that the child had no requirements for me. When I can have a good talk with him, he can restore me to a good state. There is no interest between us, and there are no rules. We are the closest relatives. Then we can treat each other well and get some emotional communication. I think this thing is a very happy thing.

If you ask me what I didn't think before I became a father, it's that I didn't think I could get so much from my children. For example, I want to do better and become a better and happier person.

A lot of happy things you stare at him, and then you will feel that you are a happy person.

(The pictures in this article are provided by scraping oil. )