Humorous self-deprecating sentences with high emotional intelligence (cold sentences of self-deprecating humor)

First, you only see that others are happy on the surface, but you don't know that others are happy behind them.

Second, I really envy your skin, which is maintained so thick.

The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death. It's that I stand in front of my future mother-in-law, but I can only call her aunt.

Fourth, I haven't felt the feeling of kissing for too long, and even eating duck tongue will feel gentle. For too long, if there is no one to hold hands with, holding a chicken feet with pickled peppers will make you feel trembling all over.

I can't eat boiled eggs in my friend's boy's urine. I said I didn't like eggs, but his father said you should have some soup.

Six, the so-called good man, don't be cool to his wife, don't make her jealous, quarrel must give in, and be beaten!

Seven, it is said that a woman is a book, look at your figure, it should be a bound book. ...

8. Rich people say that they are busy and tired and would rather earn less money. I mean, is there anything more tiring than taking a million buses?

Nine, self-timer can be P, but not too much. Otherwise, others will not only think you are ugly, but also think you are hypocritical when they see real people!

My friends all say that I am a famous musician, because every time I go out to sing, they all sing other people's songs, and only I compose live music!

11. When you are in a bad mood, delete a few friends in WeChat business, not for anything else, just to make them feel that the road to entrepreneurship is not smooth sailing.

Twelve, you are not a simple, frugal person who can live. You are poor.

Thirteen, looking at the bigger and bigger belly, I feel that I can't hide it. For this reason, I am a little afraid to go home, because I don't know who his real father is. Is it milk tea? Or hot pot? Or barbecue? Very annoying ...

Fourteen, why do some boys suddenly ignore you when they are squatting? Cast a net in a large area and fish selectively, and you will be released.

Fifteen, jiaozi should eat spicy food, and women should choose fat food. Whether life is rich or not depends on whether they are fat! I looked down at myself, well, I am fully qualified, so my wife should choose me!

Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I will advise them to look farther and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling, urging me assiduously: pay back the money quickly!

Seventeen, who says you have no perseverance! Aren't you single for decades?

Eighteen, if a boy's mobile phone wallpaper is you, and all the social passwords tell you, then you can take his money and go.

Nineteen, when you fail, you will be surrounded by a group of people who care about you. They will ask you what happened, listen to your story of failure, and then leave with satisfaction.

Twenty, the Chinese New Year is coming, and my eyes seem to be nearsighted. You can't see the money when you open your wallet.

Just now, my roommate made a cigarette to wash fruit for us, and happily brought us a pot of fruit, which was snatched by a group of people in an instant. I didn't move, unlike Kong Rong, but he took my footbath. Watching them gobble, I hid all my fame and fortune.

22. If life deceives you, don't worry, take out your beauty camera and cheat life.

Twenty-three, when I was a child, I always heard people say to me, "It doesn't matter if you don't look good now, but you will look good when you grow up in a few years." Ten years later, I didn't grow up, but I wanted to.