I am living with you, and you are obviously taking advantage. Why should I pay?

Xiao Liu and Lan Lan have been together for more than three years. During these three years, Xiao Liu has basically borne Lanlan's cosmetics, clothes, and other expenses in her life.

At the beginning of this year, Xiao Liu and Lan Lan lived together. The rent, water and electricity, firewood, rice, oil, salt, and furniture purchase expenses were all paid by Xiao Liu. Basically, anything that involved spending money was paid by Xiao Liu. . Lan Lan didn't care about anything and often asked Xiao Liu to buy various gifts for her. If she is not satisfied with the gift given by Xiao Liu, she will fall out on the spot.

Xiao Liu wanted to go back to his hometown to deal with some matters. He joked with Lan Lan that when he did not live in the house, Lan Lan had to pay half of the rent. But Lan Lan said, "You are living together with me. You are obviously taking advantage. Why should I pay?" Xiao Liu was just joking, but he got such a reply. He didn't know what to say, but he just felt tired and helpless.

From these points, it can be seen that the relationship between the two of them is indeed quite tiring. Although they are lovers, they are actually more like a pair of tenants sharing a house.

They have been together for three years, but besides accepting Xiao Liu's kindness to her with peace of mind, Lan Lan is not willing to share any risk or responsibility for the relationship between you. Lan Lan is like a condescending princess, while Xiao Liu is like a submissive little daughter-in-law.

Why does this happen?

There is a big gap between their three views. Lan Lan feels that spending her boyfriend's money is a natural thing. For example, a man must bear all living costs, including rent, water and electricity, and the expenses to please her.

And Xiao Liu feels that since they are together, life cannot be so clearly divided, but women must also contribute financially. A woman's behavior makes a man feel like she's not involved, while a man's behavior makes a woman feel stingy.

They are very insecure. Why are women unwilling to invest emotionally, including money? Because she is not sure whether this relationship will have the result she wants. Therefore, women will view this relationship with a wait-and-see attitude.

Why do men need women to invest in each other’s feelings? Also because there is no sense of security. Things that can be obtained easily and without much cost are usually not cherished. Therefore, if a woman is unwilling to bear the cost of life with her, in the eyes of men, she is ready to withdraw at any time.

Women are still in a state of not thinking about the future. As long as a woman has a free house to live in, food to eat, and money to spend now, she will not think about the future of the two of them. Should they save money together to plan for marriage? In fact, many women nowadays have never thought about this issue at all.

So, what can you ask of a woman? All she wants is happiness now, and you want her to participate in the construction of "home" with you.

What should we do in this situation?

The two have been together for three years. It is impossible to say that Lan Lan has no feelings for Xiao Liu. No woman would spend three years of her youth with a man she doesn't love. Therefore, Xiao Liu had better sit down with Lan Lan to have a good talk and listen to the other party's thoughts.

First, you have to tell him how you feel. For many women, if you don’t tell her, she may not understand. If you say it, she may not be able to understand it. About money. If your financial situation is okay, then there is no need to worry about the rent. What you really need to worry about is what this woman has paid for you besides eating and using your food.

Finally, you can try to tell her: "I have no money this month, please pay the rent first." See how she will react. If she acts like it has nothing to do with her, then this woman's feelings for you are also very limited. You should leave as soon as possible before she gets too deep.

A woman who really wants to live with you will not care about you in her relationship. In terms of money, when you encounter difficulties, she will definitely tell you: "It doesn't matter, you still have me.

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Do you still remember what Yang Zi said to Li Xian in "Dear, Beloved"? "You have no money now!" It doesn't matter, I still have some savings, you can use them, I will support you! "This is true love, sharing joys and sorrows and helping each other.