Expressing love and conquering avoidant inner communication words

9 communication words to express love

to capture the avoidant attachment!

One-way output, accurate expression:

Avoidant attachment is not difficult to capture. Many people get along with avoidant attachment, but the fundamental problem is still that they can't communicate and express.

You need to learn "one-way communication" to talk to avoidance. They like this way: you just talk about yours, and it's his business whether he will come back or not, so don't pay attention to it. In addition, we should learn to "express accurately", that is, don't be duplicitous, but tell people exactly and decisively what you want. The more you want to avoid it, the more direct you will be, and beating around the bush will never solve the core problem.

it's not a problem to sum up 9 communication skills, capture the avoidant heart and let TA be occupied by you from now on!

1. Avoidance type Because when EMO evades, you can find a lonely, empty and cold time and say, "Remember to tell me when you want to talk, I'm always here, don't hold it alone (add a hug expression)"

2. You had a quarrel with avoidance type, which caused great conflict and vented your emotions. There is a sentence that can immediately ease your relationship: "I am today. But it's just my emotional performance, and it's not aimed at you. Don't think about it. "

3. Avoidant disconnection has been going on for a long time. The first sentence that broke the ice is: "Dear, have you missed me? I haven't contacted you for so long. I miss you".

4. With the avoidant * * * feeling, TA takes the initiative to open her heart to you and encourages her to do so often: "Dear, you have told me so much about your heart today, and I feel your trust. I am very happy. I hope there will be another time. "

5. During the ambiguous period, the evasive special words are provoked:" You ignore me, which is the most beautiful/handsome ".

6. The tone that should be used in the reunion stage when the evasive type is recovered is: "Tell you something (and then wait for his response)", "I want to discuss something with you", "Is it convenient to do me a favor", "If you are not busy at this moment, I want to talk to you about something" ... In this way, first open the chat and see the attitude of the other party. If you respond enthusiastically, go on, you just want to chat with TA; If the response is cold, really find something to tell TA, and don't care about his response.

7. When you encourage avoidance, you must be concrete and convincing, and don't control your emotions too much: "You look very energetic today", "You look very cool today" and "You take special care of me and are considerate today".

8. If the evasive type completely ignores you, it is very stiff, or TA refuses to communicate, at this time we have to use a small composition with one-way output. At this time, we should apply an extra template: "Understand TA's unwillingness to communicate+express your understanding of his needs+use but express your own needs+use arguments to prove that your needs are reasonable and convince TA". The small composition should not be emotional and well-founded, and TA will naturally. Avoidance is not heartless, just refusing unreasonable and energy-consuming communication.

9. Expressing love:

(1) To express love for the avoidant type after repair, you should directly say the truest feelings: "Dear, now you have made me feel very at ease, and I feel that I need you all the time."

(2) To express love for the mild avoidance type, you should * * * feel the original emotion of TA: "Dear, I know you are angry, but maybe you are afraid of losing me behind your anger. Don't worry, I won't leave you. "

(3) If you express your love for the moderate avoidant type, you should pay attention to his tangled and contradictory mood:" Dear, maybe you are hesitant again now, are you in a dilemma? It doesn't matter, I am willing to wait for you, I believe you will understand. "

(4) Don't show love for the serious avoidant type. If you can, accompany quietly; If the conditions do not allow companionship, then show your personal charm in the form of hair dynamics, but reduce your contact, make him less alert to you, and be attracted to you, and naturally get close to you again.