How should parents guide their children when they have conflicts with their classmates?

When Pangpang came home from kindergarten, his mother found paw prints on his face and quickly asked Pangpang what was going on. Pangpang said that he was caught by his classmate Huohuo. Mother was anxious and asked chubby, "What's the matter? Why did you fight with your classmates? " Pangpang said, "Because he robbed my toy."

Mother said, "Which of you started first?" Pangpang said, "I started it first. I will hit him if he grabs my toy! " "Looking at Xiao Pang, my mother became even more angry and said," If you rob your toy, you will hit someone. Why don't you call the teacher? "? !" Pangpang fell silent.

When there is a conflict between children and classmates, our first reaction may be to tell children what to do and what not to do, but often this method doesn't work. Because these methods were conceived by adults, not children.

When there is a contradiction between children and classmates, how to guide them to find a way to solve it themselves, instead of hitting people blindly and solving it by violence?

The first step: ask the child what happened specifically and learn more information, instead of parents guessing.

Mom can say, "honey, mom saw a paw print on your face." What happened? Mom is very curious, can you talk to her? " (Child: Jojo grabbed my toy, I hit him and he caught it for me. )

Step 2: Help children learn to consider their classmates' feelings.

Mom can say, "How will your classmate Jojo feel when you beat her?" (Child: He is very angry. )

Step 3: Help children learn to think about the consequences of their actions.

Mom can say, "What did Jojo do when you hit him?" (Child: Jojo hit me, too. )

Step 4: Help children learn to think about their feelings.

Mom can say, "How did you feel when Jojo hit you?" (Child: I'm angry, too)

Step 5: Guide children to think about positive ways to solve problems.

Mom can say, "If you and Jojo are not angry and Jojo doesn't hit you, can you find a way to get the toy back?" Child: I can tell him that I still want to play with this toy. )

Step 6: Guide children to think about the possible consequences of positive problem-solving methods.

Mom can say, "What will happen if you tell him that you still want to play with this toy?"

(Child: He doesn't agree. )

The seventh step is to encourage children to come up with more solutions to problems.

For example, mom can say, "What else can you think of to get Jojo to agree?"

(Child: I can give Jojo a fire truck to play with)

Step 8: Praise your child for thinking of many ways.

For example, mother can say, "Your little brain is really amazing, and you have thought of two ways!" " "