Love is patience.

A passage in the Bible is the ideological basis of Andersen's creation of "The old man will never do anything wrong": love is patience and kindness; Love is not jealous, love is not boastful, not arrogant, not doing shy things, not seeking its own benefits, not getting angry easily, not being evil, not liking injustice, only liking truth; Always tolerate, always believe, always hope and always endure. Love never stops.

Mother Teresa also said: Home is infinite tolerance and forgiveness.

Why do we need patience? Because of love, because maintaining love and happiness requires patience, and successfully maintaining a relationship that brings you happiness requires permanent patience. The relationship between husband and wife needs patience, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs patience, and the relationship between parents and children also needs patience.

I often feel wronged and shed tears, but when I think about it, my life is still very happy. My parents are perfect, my brothers and sisters are friendly, my children grow up healthily, my husband is responsible, loyal and kind, and my mother-in-law is devoted to her children and helps them build a family. ...

What I feel unhappy is actually mostly trivial matters. I don't want to ruin my happy life. I need to successfully maintain the relationship that brings me happiness. With this cornerstone, I learned patience. Patience is followed by harmony.

The solution is always more difficult than it is.

I like growing vegetables. Together with my colleagues, I use the flower base of my unit to grow some vegetables that are easy to take care of without chemical fertilizers and pesticides. I planted eggplant, pepper, sweet potato seedlings, amaranth, cabbage, pumpkin seedlings ... Other dishes are not common, and sweet potato leaves can be eaten several times a week.

However, my mother-in-law, an old farmer, looks down on my food and doesn't like sweet potato leaves. She used to feed pigs, but now she is so healthy, green and delicious. She doesn't like being biased. Every time I pick it back at night, I raise it with water. The next day, she just ignored the sweet potato seedlings and didn't wash them. I often go home late, and when I see it still being raised, I quickly ask my son to help me choose and wash it.

Often like this, I am very unhappy. Later, whenever I was free, I chose to soak in the water in advance, and when I did so, my heart gradually calmed down.

I grow amaranth, some are full of seeds when I was born, and some are round-leaf amaranth without seeds. I planted it for a long time before picking it once. There are many dishes, which are stored in the refrigerator. A few days later, when I came back from work, my mother-in-law said angrily, "How can I grow such an old amaranth without growing vegetables?" You can't eat more than half. Go and have a look. "

As soon as I saw it, more than half of them were discarded by my mother-in-law. I ate the other half fried by my husband. How delicious! It's delicious to grow it yourself!

I can finish it in a few bites. Then I went to choose and wash the others discarded by my mother-in-law, and I was wasted by my mother-in-law for several months, which was very sad. I fried it and ate it Although it is not as smooth and astringent as the seedless one, I like it very much.

It's been an hour, and my mother-in-law is taking a bath and still scolding me: "I don't believe you can fry such an old dish!" " Nothing to do, what to grow, if you really eat, I will change my surname. "

What my mother-in-law said made me laugh and cry. Why are you so depressed? I like growing vegetables. Maybe the food I grow is not as good as my mother-in-law's. What does it matter? And I really fried the dishes discarded by my mother-in-law, and it was beautifully finished!

"Mother-in-law, I really have.

After eating those dishes, I really want to change my surname! "

"I don't believe this can be eaten."

"You don't believe it, wait and see if the trash can has been thrown away."

"I'm not going to see it." My mother-in-law is still talking in a rage.

I don't think it's necessary to answer any more. Thinking of the fable told by Zhuangzi, two people were watching the fish, and one said, how happy the fish were swimming! Another person replied, you are not a fish, how do you know that fish swim happily? The first person replied, you are not me. How do you know I don't know the happiness of fish? My mother-in-law judged my pleasure in growing and eating vegetables with her own preferences and tastes and her decades-long professional level of growing vegetables.

How can I make my mother-in-law feel confident to judge my fun and taste? She has worked in the fields all her life. How can she take pictures while watering vegetables like me? She is very happy when she looks at the green leaves, and she will look around! She can't appreciate this kind of fun, but she doesn't respect other people's fun either. We young people can eat mulberry leaves to make soup, but can't we eat amaranth with long seeds? This is a variety in itself.

Because she is an elder and she wants to use the topic to vent her emotions, I will fall into her emotional trap if I am not careful. If it had been before, it would have been a big fight. Now, I know to shut up and stop arguing, even if I'm right.

I'm also very vigilant. Mother-in-law will judge others' fun with her own eyes and tastes, which will also happen to many people and many occasions. We don't respect other people's fun and like to jump to conclusions. Others may just say it. Where's the family? What about the children? Parents are the masters of children, not their emotional experiences? It is very dangerous for parents to manipulate their children's happy experience without knowing their children's fun. Such judgments are often the fuse of family conflicts.

My mother-in-law doesn't cook the beef I bought because her life experience is pork. When I buy beef, my mother-in-law will have many opinions. Then, I made a request to my mother-in-law: "I came back late and didn't have time to thaw." Can you take it out in advance and cut it and cook it when I come back? "

"No, it's my fault that I can't cut it well, and I won't cut it." Mother-in-law replied.

I'm sad. I feel really bad. Suddenly thought of a way: "If you don't cook it immediately after buying it, just cut it and put it away, and cook it whenever you want." I am full of joy for coming up with this method, because my heart is no longer full of judgments and complaints about my mother-in-law.

Only the method without judgment, my heart seems to light up.

I know that love is not only patience but also tolerance.

I value the good relationship with my mother-in-law and husband. I need patience and tolerance. With this cornerstone, there is a way.

"Mom, grandma speaks for you now!"

Yes, when I stopped falling into the emotional trap of my mother-in-law and quarreling, my mother-in-law became kind!

I will keep this passage in mind: love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous, love is not boastful, not arrogant, not shy, not seeking its own benefits, not easily getting angry, not counting people's evils, not liking injustice, and liking truth.