If you can, please don't choose companionship. Your accompanying mother may face these four difficulties.

Parents nowadays really do their best for their children. In order to give their children enough companionship and take care of their daily lives, some families will choose one parent to take care of their children at home full-time, especially those whose children's school is far from home and their parents are not at ease about their children's living in school. They will choose to rent a house near the school to accompany them.

Other families with good conditions may send their children to study abroad, and their mothers quit their jobs at home to accompany their children abroad.

Ms. Li is the accompanying mother. After her daughter went to junior high school, she resigned and rented a house near the school to accompany her.

I thought that with my own company, my daughter's grades would be among the best as in primary school, but I didn't expect that her children's grades have been declining and her personality has changed from cheerful to gloomy and introverted. This makes Ms. Li very anxious.

She had an in-depth conversation with her daughter.

Through the conversation, Ms. Li realized that her daughter was very sad to see that she had resigned to take care of herself and paid so much. She wanted to repay her mother with excellent results. Great psychological pressure makes her daughter's internal friction more and more serious, her learning efficiency is getting lower and lower, and her grades are getting worse and worse.

The decline in grades, in turn, increased the pressure and self-blame of her daughter. My daughter is full of self-denial, her personality changes slowly, and her learning status is getting worse and worse.

Ms. Li regretted it. She said: If I had to do it again, I would never choose to accompany her!

The benefits of accompanying students in this matter are obvious.

First, we can take care of children's lives to the maximum extent and ensure their three meals a day. From adolescence to adolescence, it is the golden stage of children's physical development, ensuring balanced nutrition and laying a good foundation for the next few decades.

Second, we can always pay attention to children's emotions and psychology and provide timely help and guidance for children. Especially adolescent children, they are facing great changes in physiology and psychology, and it is easy to go astray. The company of their parents can greatly reduce this possibility.

Third, children can be provided with one-on-one learning assistance. They can help their children with their primary school homework. After children enter junior high school, parents may not be able to help their children with their homework at first, but they can still help their children learn methods, adjust their learning status, decompress them appropriately, help them collect information about exams and further studies, and make them learn more easily.

High-quality accompanying reading is really helpful for children.

The head teacher of a key middle school said frankly that it is a very good choice for parents to accompany them. Those children who are accompanied by their parents will have a much higher probability of entering the university than ordinary students.

However, there are not many parents who can accompany them with high quality. After all, we need strong financial support, mature parents and stable emotions. This requires great wisdom and a big pattern.

If you can't do this, accompanying reading is likely to become a purgatory for children and parents.

Mothers who choose to accompany them usually encounter four dilemmas!

1, suffocating parent-child relationship

Many accompanying mothers have clear goals, hoping that accompanying mothers can make their children better and study better, and they will have higher expectations for their children, such as how many points they get in the exam and how many places they rank in the class.

In order to achieve their goals, they will increase their control over their children, too loose and too strict, making them feel suffocated.

If the child's grades are not satisfactory, the mother will be particularly anxious and pass on the anxiety to the child, which will easily stimulate the parent-child conflict and make the parent-child relationship worse.

Of course, if the family conditions are good, the mother will be more tolerant without worrying about the economy, and will not put all her eggs in one basket. However, if the family conditions are average, it is unbearable for both the mother and the child to pin all their expectations on the child.

Therefore, it is recommended that families with general economic conditions carefully choose to accompany them.

Single parents may not be able to deal with their children's adolescence.

After children enter adolescence, great changes will take place in physiology and psychology, and they will deliberately stay away from their parents, especially with heterosexual parents.

An accompanying mother found that her second-grade son could watch a small movie. The mother doesn't think it's good to watch this kind of movie, but she doesn't know how to communicate with her son and finds it difficult to say. If you have a father at this time, communication will become relatively easy and your son will not feel offended.

After children enter adolescence, their emotions will become unstable, and some children will become particularly irritable, and the slightest sign of trouble will break out. You don't know what kind of excessive behavior he will make next.

Parents can only walk on thin ice, and even some parents dare not go out in front of their children.

Adolescence is a critical period of family education, which requires the cooperation of parents to help children spend it smoothly.

At this special stage of adolescence, it is best not to let the other half miss their children's education.

3. Children's independence will fall behind.

There are many accompanying mothers who turn themselves into babysitters and take care of their children in every possible way.

They will get up 1 hour in advance, help their children make breakfast and fill their kettles with water.

In order to prevent children from burning their mouths when eating, they will keep stirring porridge with a spoon to cool down.

In order to let the children waste less time, go downstairs and start the car in advance so that the children can get on the bus as soon as they arrive.

In order to make children less tired, help them carry their schoolbags day after day.

Besides, besides washing clothes and doing housework, they also help children clean the room and tidy the table.

It seems that it saves a lot of trouble for children. In fact, everything is arranged, which actually makes children's independent ability lag behind.

Children will live their own lives independently one day, and mothers must not waste their own light.

4. The relationship between husband and wife is broken

Many accompanying mothers have to face the problem of being separated from their children's fathers for a long time, especially those families whose homes are far from school. Usually, my father lives at home, and my mother lives in a rented house near the school with her children.

Couples who have been separated for a long time are prone to marital crisis.

An accompanying mother said: from junior high school to high school, I found myself betrayed when I got home. It was so chilling.

It's really not worth it to accompany students and finally break up their families.

Husband-wife relationship is always the core of family relationship, which must take precedence over parent-child relationship. Putting the cart before the horse will hurt not only the accompanying mother, but also the children.

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