A humorous copy that relaxes the mood

1. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, the man was in the marriage registry!

2. Teacher: Who can describe the married life of modern men in one sentence? Xiaoming: Married an ancestor and gave birth to a father! Teacher: Don't say anything, clap your hands!

3. "I miss the past, when the sky was blue and the water was clear, and women would laugh when sitting in the back seat of bicycles." God replied, "Because most people couldn't afford bicycles at that time."

4. Mom and Dad are really amazing creatures. They believe all the rumors in their circle of friends, but they will expose your lies at a glance.

5. The troubles of life, tell mom. "Mom, I don't want to get married." Talking to dad about work: "Dad, I don't have enough money to spend."

6. My daughter-in-law is a Virgo and is very picky about everything. I was angry with her. As a result, she argued, "I call this perfectionism and strive for perfection in everything." What is like you? Just make do with anything. "I quite agree. After all, she chose me and I chose her.

7. I changed a lot after I learned that my girlfriend was pregnant, such as my name, mobile phone number and address ... 8. It was the first time I flew. In order to pretend to sit often, I patted the stewardess's ass and said, Are you on duty today? As a result, the plane was delayed for more than an hour.

My daughter-in-law is pregnant and eats a lot of fruit every day. She also said that the doll born of fruit is watery and white. I bought a basket of rhubarb pears at night and thought to myself, how can there be dolls of local tyrants? Nature is rich!

10. A netizen wanted to do pedicure at home, and posted a question: What should I put in the foot bath? God replied: of course, let go of your feet. Are you farting?

1 1. I asked my girlfriend narcissistically, "Admit it, am I the most handsome boyfriend in history?" The girlfriend looked disdainful: "What are you doing standing on the stool?"

12. An old man accosted an old lady. Your hairstyle is really beautiful. You cut it there. The old lady pulled her hair in an instant: yours is a pickup truck, which I spent a lot of money on.

13.iPhoneX is really hard to grab. Every time I book to check out, I find that I have no money.

14. I asked the leader: What should I do if I meet a fool in my life? Leader: support all his views and train him to be a big fool! I answered without thinking: boss, I will always support you!

15. Go swimming with my brother at the seaside in Sanya. My brother is backstroke, which is very comfortable. My brother laughed wildly on the shore and said that he had just heard three girls pointing at me to discuss whether the man was drowning, and his stomach was so big that he was still floating. ........

16. My brother invited me to eat special snacks near his home. It is common for a place to smell. I asked him, what are the characteristics? My brother pointed to the boss and whispered, look, the boss is wearing open-backed pants.

17. The young man had a crush on a girl for a long time, so he took the opportunity to ask her for help. When it was done, the young man said, "How can I thank you? I will marry you! " The girl looked at him carefully and said, "How can you bite the hand that feeds you?" "

18. When I met my father's first love, my mother was very jealous and said to me: At that time, your father almost married that aunt. I am curious to ask: why doesn't dad marry mom? He said: I bought a ring from someone else and found that my fingers were too thick and the cost was high, so I married me with thin fingers. I ........

19. I just bought a small tomato, but the bag leaked after a few steps, and the small tomato spilled all over the floor. When I have a headache, two plastic bags are flying in the air. I chose the right size and grabbed it. Beijing is so nice!

20. How much fun it is outside is just a passing sight to me. No matter how beautiful the scenery is, it is just a pile of powder skeletons in my eyes! In my opinion, in the bustling city life, being loyal to your heart is the most important thing, or the old saying goes well: I have no money!

2 1. One day, an officer from Hunan said to the recruits, "One regiment kills chickens; Class two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you! " The recruits listened and thought: Is this a picnic? A recruit understood the officer's gesture and said, "The officer means: a group of shooting; The second type of bomb, I will show you. "

22. I have been chasing a sister paper for three years. Today, I couldn't help yelling: You said that you are so cold to me every day, can't you give me a little warmth? Just after that, my sister slapped me in the face: Is it warmer now?

I went on a blind date yesterday. As soon as I sat down, my sister said, Look at your face, you should be rich. I thought to myself, this girl is quite good at talking. I replied: my sister will also visit fortune-teller! Who knows, she smiled and said: No, I don't believe that there are ugly people who dare to come on blind dates these days and have no money.

24. On the bus this morning, I saw a man reaching for his mobile phone from his bag to check the time, and then said "I'll go". I thought he was running out of time. A closer look shows that he has an air conditioner remote control in his hand. ...

25. Xiaoming couldn't dress and eat by himself when he was six years old. Grandpa couldn't stand it anymore, so he earnestly educated Xiaoming: Mingming, you should learn to stand on your own feet. Grandpa was poor when he was a child. When he was your age, he went to the fields to pick up cow dung! Xiao Ming was surprised: were you poor enough to eat shit then?