Collection of classic funny jokes

Compilation of classic funny jokes: the happiness mode of corrupt officials: sleeping in a bed with special power; Eat rice bought by public funds; Listen to your mistress speak sweet words to you; Play games with ordinary people! More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

Collection of classic funny jokes (1) 1. The printer doesn't print clearly enough. I called the after-sales service, and the after-sales sister said, You only need to clean this problem yourself manually. There are methods in the manual. If our maintenance personnel clean up in the past, they need to pay at least 100 yuan for cleaning up. ?

I asked curiously: Don't earn 100 yuan? Your boss knows that you are crowding out your business, so you must not be fired by him. ! ?

Our boss said that we can usually make more money if customers repair the printer themselves first. ?

2. The boss of the company wants to fire the aunt who cleaned the toilet and communicate with her? Aunt asked: boss, I clean the toilet every day. Why did you fire me?

The boss said angrily, then tell me, I detained my booger three months ago and touched the door. Why are you still here?

Aunt was speechless.

I, the policeman, found a driver smoking while driving today. I said? What do you smoke while driving?

He said? Yellow crane tower. ?

4. I opened a women's clothing store, which was very depressing. I once chatted with my peers and said: Now the clothing industry is flooded with resources, and clothing stores are everywhere. Why are there so many buyers?

Peer:? Yes, besides, you can make two or three suits now. ?

5. I; ? Boss, it's not easy for you alone. Why don't you find a husband? ?

Boss:? This thing is related to fate and cannot be forced. For example, how many times have you been asked to send me a midnight snack and left without drinking a glass of water?

I looked at the weight of the proprietress 100 kilograms, and quietly took a breath!

Collection of classic humorous essays (2) 1. When I went to the interview, I took a shower, combed my boss's hairstyle, put on a handsome suit and interviewed the small manager of that company. When you met me, you said something that I will never forget: compared with previous applicants, you are more like buying us off.

Before the meeting, the boss told us:? Remember to set the phone to vibration mode! ?

At this time, my colleague's mobile phone suddenly sounded feminine? Honey, I miss you ~ I have to answer the phone soon ~? Ring the bell. . .

Scared colleagues to press it quickly, the boss said with a smile. Do you still have a commotion mode here?

3. The leader's inspection of hygiene is extremely strict. Today, I came again. I looked at the bed and touched it. It's not gray ~ I looked at the door frame and touched it. Not gray ~ I'm depressed!

Finally, I saw the lamp on the ceiling. I went, stepped on the table and touched it. Hey! Still no ash!

But Nima came down and said, Xiao Li, why don't you wipe off the footprints on your desk? ?

A friend who just came back from the army applied for a job. The recruiter is a manager and asked him a question:? Can you salute? Take a look. ?

Then he hit the manager. . .

My colleague touched the thick swimming ring and said:? I have no confidence in what to wear now. ?

The director said: So you can be confident without wearing anything?

6、? Hello, manager, my name is Li Hua, and I'm here for an interview for the position of assistant general manager today.

? Hello, please sit down and talk about your life motto! ?

? I dare not say, for fear of misunderstanding by the general manager. . . ?

? It's okay. Go ahead. ?

? My motto in life is: take your time when you meet hooligans, enjoy yourself when you meet wild animals, and fight against strong J! ?

? All right! Well said! You're hired ~?

Collection of classic funny jokes (3) 1, sit and think about yourself, gossip is not aimed at people.

2. Development is the last word, but hard development is unreasonable.

People watch what you do, not what you say.

4. It's painful to ask others, and to ask yourself to be happy.

5. Mature people don't ask the past; Smart people don't ask now; Open-minded people do not ask about the future.

6. Above people, treat people as people; Under people, treat yourself as a person.

7. Know that a gentleman is behind others; Know that the villain is watching people behind their backs.

8. When you make a mistake, it's the enemy who comes to scold you, and the friend who leaves to scold you.

9. Those who dare not get angry are cowards, and those who don't get angry are wise.

10, for people, a clear conscience is the most comfortable pillow.

1 1, being jealous of others means that others are successful, and being jealous means that you are successful.

12, some things are not knots, but scars.

13, you can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man can eat it in one bite.

14, people who like flowers will pick flowers, but people who love flowers will water them.

15, as long as people can master themselves, they will not lose anything.

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