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There is always a misfit in the dormitory
There is always a misfit in the dormitory
There is always a misfit in the dormitory. It is inevitable that there will be friction in the university dormitory. After all, the roommates who live together come from all over the world. The living environment, work and rest habits, etc. are all different. Some people have never been able to integrate into the group. Let’s see below. There is always someone who doesn’t fit in with the group. There is always one unsociable person in the dormitory 1
1. Learn to communicate.
Roommates should understand each other and be able to tolerate and tolerate some minor problems, so that they can get along harmoniously. When encountering things that are unacceptable, or when roommates affect the rest of others, etc., It can be solved through communication, giving suggestions to the other party and letting the other party make corrections.
2. Tactful suggestions.
Many things cannot be said directly. You can use tactful methods and make appropriate suggestions when joking. Let the other person pay attention and curb his shortcomings or problems. A tactful approach will leave the other party with a step down.
3. Direct suggestions.
Sometimes we need to directly express our dissatisfaction, point out what the other party did wrong and inappropriate, and ask the other party to pay attention to it in the future. The tone should not be forceful, but should be in a normal conversational tone, so that the other party will not feel embarrassed.
4. Discuss and decide.
For unsociable people, it refers to those who are self-righteous and do things without considering the feelings of other people. Faced with this situation, we can formulate relevant regulations in the dormitory and use treaties to bind each roommate. At the same time, it also leaves the other party with face, and he will correct it.
5. Maintain relationships.
Since we are not gregarious, we should not ask others to follow our wishes. Maintain a good relationship, say hello when you meet, and talk about things if you have any. Just keep the relationship normal. Don't isolate each other or laugh at each other.
6. Learn to adapt.
As long as the other person does not disturb the normal life of other roommates, then do not interfere in the other person's affairs. Don't think that the other person is not gregarious and it is the other person's problem. We just need to be ourselves, and the relationship in the dormitory needs to be maintained, not stalemate. There is always someone who doesn’t fit in with the room in the dormitory 2
What should I do if I feel like I don’t fit in with the room in the dormitory? 1. Reasons why I don’t fit in with my roommates
Many college freshmen The reason why I don't get along with my roommates is that after I enter college, I will have disagreements with my roommates because of their inconsistent hobbies, daily routines, and different standards for looking at things. So my roommates began to reject me, and over time, I would have a thought: Did I make a wrong choice, which is why I am not gregarious with my roommates?
In fact, this idea is not advisable, because whether something is right or wrong is not right who has more supporters. For example, if I don’t like staying up late but my other roommates like to stay up late, is it right to stay up late? If you are defined as being unsociable just because your views are different from those of most people, then you can choose to be unsociable. Because your choice is correct.
2. Try to communicate with your roommates
Of course, in addition to the above-mentioned reasons for being unsociable, there will be other reasons, such as your personality being at odds with your roommates. , I like a quiet environment and rarely communicate with others. These will be the reasons why freshmen and roommates are not sociable. If you encounter such a reason, students can try to communicate with their roommates. After all, they are all college students who have just entered school. They may live together for four years in the future, and their roommates will not ignore you.
3. Don’t blindly accommodate your roommates
Many freshmen will feel unsociable because their roommates stay up late playing games every day and they need to go to bed early. In fact, there are too many such things, but I personally think that if If you are not gregarious with your roommates because of this reason, then there is no need to be gregarious, because when you are gregarious with your roommates because of things like staying up late and going to bed early, it may not be of much benefit to you.
So it is not a good thing to blindly accommodate your roommates because you want to be gregarious. I once heard a teacher say something like this: Some being gregarious can make you develop in a good direction, while some being gregarious can lead you to degeneration.
4. Sometimes being gregarious may not necessarily be good
Sometimes being gregarious may not necessarily be good for you. Go to the library by yourself, study alone, and think calmly. You don't need to be gregarious to do this. Just like when you are the only one in the world who holds the truth, but everyone else is refuting you, do you have to give up?
Tips for getting along with roommates in college
1. Take the initiative to care about your roommates
In a new environment, nothing can compare to the love from others. Caring makes your heart warmer. So take the initiative to care about your roommates, and I believe your relationship will improve quickly!
2. Help each other as much as possible
Of course, we have to start with small things. We can help each other bring food, help each other fetch water, in short, in all aspects of life, why not do it? Of course, after getting your help, your roommate will also come to help you, and the relationship will naturally become closer.
3. Learn to be considerate
Maybe you said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing, but in fact, it doesn’t matter if you think about the good things about the other person. Learn to understand others and give others a chance to make mistakes, which is also your own sublimation.
4. Don’t take advantage.
If you do things like taking advantage once or twice, you will believe that the other party will be less willing to play with you. Don't treat your roommate as a fool, let alone lower your own worth. Getting along with your roommates openly is the long-term solution.
5. Learn to be conscious and self-disciplined
Because of different work and rest times, or differences between regions, your living habits or diet will be different. What we have to do at this time is not to interfere with each other. Only by learning to be self-conscious and self-discipline can your roommates like you more.
6. Take care of special groups
Maybe your roommate is an ethnic minority and has his own eating habits that are different from others. Maybe your roommate has a physical disability and often doesn't get along with everyone. Under such circumstances, it is best for us to take care of them, not just for the so-called pleasure. Because if you do this, you will definitely get the gratitude of your roommates. Only when you live in a grateful world will you be happy both physically and mentally.
7. Don’t worry about roommates borrowing money
Borrowing money is very emotionally damaging. I believe you know this even if I don’t tell you, so I won’t go into details about the reasons. Of course, excluding the kind that don’t bring money for food, just borrow a little and then pay it back. Remember to pay back all the money you borrow for meals, otherwise you will know that you forgot to pay it back, and others will think you are a freeloader. This would be bad. A good roommate relationship still needs to be carefully maintained.
8. Learn to share
You can usually buy some fruits, snacks, etc. and bring them to the dormitory to share with everyone. Or often go to dinner parties on weekends and organize roommates to play together. This is also a way to enhance relationships. There is always an unsociable person in the dormitory 3
What to do if you have a bad relationship with the people in the dormitory
1. Keep the same schedule with your roommates.
There are three, four, five, six, or even more people living together in a dormitory. It is advisable to have unified work and rest times to adjust. Only when everyone coordinates and abides by the rules can disputes be reduced, frictions eliminated, and normal life order maintained.
If you are a "night owl" and go to bed very late at night and wait until all dormitory members are asleep before washing and going to bed, you will easily wake up other people and affect their rest. Over time, you will arouse the disgust of your roommates.
Therefore, all members of the dormitory should try to unify their living hours to reduce the gap between work and rest. If something really happens, members who get up early or go to bed late should try to minimize the impact of sound and light on the roommates.
2. Do not engage in "small groups".
In the dormitory, everyone should be treated equally. Don't favor one over the other, and get along with some people while being alienated from others.
Some people like to be very close to someone in the dormitory. In normal times, they always whisper to the same person and stay with the same person no matter what they do or when they come in and out. This will easily arouse the displeasure of other members of the dormitory, thinking that you disdain to associate with them. As a result, you may have a good relationship, but you may alienate others. This is not conducive to establishing a harmonious dormitory relationship, and it is not worth the gain. We are not opposed to building deep friendships, but we must not sacrifice the breadth and breadth of friendships.
So in the dormitory, we should try to maintain a balance with everyone, try to be in a state of inseparability with the roommates, and not form "cliques".
3. Do not violate the privacy of roommates.
Everyone has his own secrets and enough curiosity. We should not try our best to explore the privacy of our roommates. The other party has made a field private and has a special sensitivity to this field. Any topic that attempts to break into this field is unwelcome. It is especially important to note that you must not rummage through your roommates' clothes without their consent. We must pay special attention to this issue. We must not adapt to changes and ignore details because we think we are acquaintances.
In addition, when we live in the same Yihe dormitory, sometimes it is inevitable to know some of the roommate's privacy. We must also keep it secret. Telling others is not only disrespectful to the roommate, but also immoral. We must do the above in several aspects, otherwise it will be inevitable to anger our roommates and lead to "wars".
4. Actively participate in group activities.
Dormitory activities are not just an activity, but also an important form of emotional connection between roommates. You should actively participate in and cooperate. Don't naively regard group activities as purely boring activities that waste money and energy, and show a disdain for others. In fact, they are all emotional investments and are indispensable. The roommates decide what to do together, and we must respect their choices. If you really can't participate, you can put forward your thoughts and opinions. Don't force your participation to make your roommates feel like you're taking things too seriously, and don't ruin the interest of your roommates by refusing them outright.
It can be said that the presence and amount of collective activities also reflect the degree of unity in this dormitory from one aspect. If you always don't participate in such activities, it will appear that you are out of touch.
5. Ask for help when others are in trouble, but also ask for help when you have something to do.
Good interpersonal relationships are based on helping each other. It goes without saying that when roommates encounter difficulties, we should take the initiative to lend a helping hand. So, when something happens to us, should we ask our roommates for help? The answer is yes. Because sometimes asking for help can show your trust in others, harmonize relationships, and deepen feelings. For example, if you need help from someone, if you ask someone else for help at the expense of your roommate, your roommate will feel that you don't trust him when he finds out. If you don't want to ask others, how can others be embarrassed to ask you for help in the future?
In fact, it is okay to ask for help from roommates, as long as you pay attention to propriety and do not embarrass them.
6. Do not refuse snacks and banquets.
When your roommate brings some fruits, melon seeds and other snacks to the dormitory and gives them to you, don’t push them away or reject them because you feel embarrassed about eating them. Sometimes, if your roommate invites you to dinner for a birthday or other reasons, you should be happy to go.
Even if there is no money to "invite" him back, I think it doesn't matter, because mutual remuneration is not only reflected in material terms, but is different from the "equivalent exchange" principle in the commodity economy, it is also reflected in psychological aspects. When you accept someone else's invitation, in a sense, you are also giving them face. If you refuse all snacks and banquets, over time, others will inevitably think that you are arrogant and arrogant, and they will "stay away" from you.
7. Don’t be quick to speak quickly.
"Lying Talk" is an important activity in the dormitory. It is originally a very pleasant thing for roommates to share their knowledge and opinions with each other, but they often get into disputes over trivial matters, and "talking sessions" turn into "wars of words."
Some people like to tell other people’s jokes and take advantage of others. Even if they joke, they will not end up with their own losses; some people like to argue and try to show their abilities by persuading the other party to make their roommates "respect" "Themselves; some people are afraid of being looked down upon, so they deliberately sing the opposite in the "sleep talk", or even expose others' shortcomings and conduct personal attacks on others.
People who like to talk quickly and take advantage of their words are actually very stupid. They feel too competitive and difficult to cooperate with. If you don't respect others, others won't respect you either. If you talk too much and try to appear smarter than others, in the end it will only arouse others' resentment and no one will say anything good about you.
8. Complete the chores that need to be done.
The chores that each member of the dormitory should do include not only doing a good job for oneself, but also doing a good job for the group. Some people are lazy at home and rely on their family members to take care of everything. Living in a dormitory will inevitably expose their bad habits: they never fetch boiled water and drink other people's water every day; their clothes are not tidied up and are still messy; the public toilets in the dormitory are more hygienic. They are indifferent and rely on their roommates to do things like sweeping the floor and cleaning doors and windows. I don't think any group would welcome a selfish, lazy and sloppy person.
Therefore, you must try your best to do your own chores. Don't expect others to "help" you. You must develop a good habit of doing everything yourself. Collective things must be accomplished by the collective. If you don't do it or are careless, others will have reason to criticize you.
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