A sentence that shows how disappointed you are with your mother-in-law (if you want to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law)

Text | Xueluo Wuchen

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult relationship to deal with since ancient times.

Although they live under the same roof and are a family, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is still very delicate.

Although she is also her own mother, she cannot really be regarded as her mother and must keep a certain distance.

Many people always hope that their mother-in-law will be nice and treat them the same as their daughter. On the contrary, a mother-in-law can never treat her daughter-in-law as her own daughter.

Because they are like two strangers. Even if they try to have a good relationship, they can't really be like family members.

So, try to be disappointed in your mother-in-law instead of constantly making high demands.

To all women who are daughters-in-law: learn to be "disappointed" in your mother-in-law, and your marriage will be better off.

01

Wei An, a self-media person, once told her own story. She and her mother-in-law have lived together for ten years, but they have never been blushing.

It’s not because they are closer than others. In fact, they don’t even communicate very smoothly. Her mother-in-law likes to speak in dialect, but she can’t understand her either.

Previously, when her child was just born, she accidentally fell ill. She endured the discomfort while taking care of the child. You don’t have to imagine how uncomfortable it was.

Just at this time, my mother-in-law suddenly proposed that she wanted to go back to her hometown to stay for a while, and she had already bought the ticket, so she decided to do it first and later.

At that time, she was very aggrieved, thinking that if they really thought about her, they would not return to her hometown at this time.

From that moment she felt that her mother-in-law could only be her mother-in-law and should not have so many demands on her, otherwise they would not be able to get along normally.

Later, she tried to change her mentality, lowered her requirements, treated her as an outsider, and only looked at her mother-in-law's strengths.

Even though her mother-in-law is illiterate and cannot chat with her, she is still a responsible old man, and every time she talks about her mother-in-law, she will praise her.

My mother-in-law is from the north. When people reach a certain age, they always think about their hometown. However, in order to take care of her children, she can only live in the south.

Since she has no friends, she cannot go out to visit.

Not only that, my mother-in-law is also good at making dumplings. Dumplings in the north are always very big, but my mother-in-law learned to make small and exquisite dumplings for her.

Because she saw the advantages of her mother-in-law, she always remembered her mother-in-law's efforts. Every time she went out, she would bring gifts to her mother-in-law and buy health care products for her.

In fact, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also needs to be maintained and managed deliberately. Don't think that just because they are a family, you can treat them the same as your own family.

Instead, you should treat others with enough courtesy and know how to tolerate the other person. If you are good to her, she will be good to you.

If you always look for her shortcomings and complain at every turn, you will find that she will not understand your shortcomings, and you will start to have conflicts.

There is a word called "barrel long board theory".

The water content of a wooden barrel does not depend on the longest board, but the shortest board.

We should not always focus on the shortcomings of others, but also look at the strengths of others.

Only by seeing the advantages of others and constantly encouraging them will they become better and better. On the contrary, if you keep blaming your shortcomings, your relationship will deteriorate.

02

So, how should we get along with our mother-in-law?

In fact, no one is perfect. It is enough to focus on the advantages of others and give them enough respect.

Because your mother-in-law is also a mother, it must have taken a lot of effort to raise your husband from a child who was babbling to a man who can stand alone.

Without her, there would be no husband. But just because your husband is close to your mother does not mean that you can do the same. While respecting each other, you must also maintain a sense of proportion.

When Chen Jie met her mother-in-law for the first time, she followed local etiquette and bought her a gift. When she arrived at her mother-in-law's house, she was very polite to her.

But she didn't have a lively chat with her mother-in-law right after she came up, nor did she say too much. The whole process was at a close distance.

The mother-in-law noticed her daughter-in-law's attitude and treated Chen Jie with the same attitude. They didn't treat each other too hard at the beginning, nor did they have high expectations for each other.

After getting married, their relationship has always been very polite, but when they live together, friction and bumps are inevitable.

Every time she gets angry, Chen Jie tells herself that there is no need to ask too much of her mother-in-law, and no one is obligated to give in to you, which reduces too many conflicts.

During the holidays, Chen Jie always gives gifts to her mother-in-law, with such thoughtful etiquette that no one can fault her.

As time goes by, the mother-in-law can also see the goodness of her daughter-in-law, and naturally become closer to her, and she will not care too much about small things.

However, although they are close, they still consciously do not touch each other's bottom line, worry about what the other person thinks, and at the same time restrain themselves.

This is the correct way for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to deal with each other, respecting and tolerating each other's shortcomings.

03

But when it comes to matters of principle, you cannot choose to compromise.

I remember a woman asked for help online, saying that her mother-in-law and husband had been persuading her to resign and stay at home, and she didn’t know what to do.

In fact, too many women give up their careers because of marriage, but you have to remember that your mother-in-law does not have you in mind in this matter.

She just wants to make her son less tired, not to let you rest at home.

The correct approach should be that you should not give up your career for marriage under any circumstances. Don't choose to compromise just because they bring it up.

Work is your escape route, don't block your escape route. How many women have become unhappy because of this and have no choice but to divorce.

You are a woman first, yourself first, then your wife, and finally your mother. Don’t make your husband and children the focus of your life.

After working hard for most of your life and getting nothing, your husband has a very comfortable life and your children have grown up, you realize that you have forgotten yourself a long time ago.

Therefore, if you want to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, what a woman has to do is not to please, but to be "disappointed".

Don’t put all your energy into your family and marriage, and don’t regard it as the whole life.

We should consider ourselves first, not others. Because there are so many wonderful things we can do in our lives.

Don’t become anyone’s expectations, let yourself be the master of your life.