Share the lessons learned every day.

I was stuck in traffic for 78 years. Tell me about my present situation. Up to now, it has entered 160 and owed dozens.

My outlook on life has changed, and I'm hopeless in my life. Although I have been working, I was locked up as soon as I got paid. A hundred families cry for fish, and I am endless with big fish.

At present, I go to work for two night shifts without eating. When you are hungry, come to the bottled water in the factory to drink, seven or eight bottles a night, and finally I can't stand it tonight. Everyone knows that they and their relatives and friends can't borrow money, and they don't leave themselves a way out. . I lost my dignity, lost my credit, lost my self-confidence, lost my youth, and lost too many things in my life. . The boy who worked hard, was filial to his parents, was proud in the eyes of others, and sweated in the sun, had disappeared when he came into contact with blogs seven years ago.

I know, everything can't go back. Recently, I found myself a little insane. I often look at a place in a daze and my mind is blank. Sometimes laugh a few times, sometimes cry inexplicably. . Now I'd rather sit in the dark until dawn than sleep in silence.

I don't smoke these days. I went to the stadium to pick up cigarette butts last night. I met an old woman who picked up bottles. It's about 1 in the morning, and it looks very painful. It's pathetic. Don't block it again. Don't say that. What should my parents do when they are old? Don't bet that my dog won't stand in his way. . Do you want your parents to do the same?

I have no money to buy medicine for a cold these days and I have to go to work. I can't borrow any money.

When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks at you. The abyss is like a black bottomless well with no end.

Don't I regret these seven or eight years? Yes! I regret it. Countless sleepless nights, riding a battery car in the street in the early morning, my eyes are red! I don't know how many times I cried on a rainy night with tears mixed with rain. I found a corner in the busy street and stared at the people coming and going!

202 1. 10. 12

It was still on at 5:45 when I got off work yesterday. It was dark after work today, and it was raining in Mao Mao. At present, I am sitting in a shopping mall, waiting for the owner of the Internet cafe to go home at 9 o'clock before going to sleep in the Internet cafe. I will get up at 4: 30 tomorrow to go to work, alas! It's cold, and it's already late autumn. When I'm hurt and helpless, I miss my family. . It has done them too much harm, so don't let them worry any more. 202 1. 10. 12:20:33

... update 202 1. 10/0/4.

I don't know where to go aimlessly after work. I'm not afraid of hunger. I'm afraid of delaying work. Maybe I haven't slept in bed for a while, so I can't sleep well. The eyes are getting higher and higher, and the places where you look at three or four meters with glasses are blurred. Every day now is a kind of torture for me. I am addicted to memories and refuse to come out. I am in primary school, junior high school, high school and university. Recall the beauty of the past every day. Some people know that I often wash my hair twice a day from the third grade of primary school to junior high school, and at least once a day in high school, just for concave modeling. Now I haven't washed my hair for a week. Last time I bought soap to wash my hair. Yes! Buy soap and wash your hair. Because you can also wash your face!

Update 202 1 10 15 and talk about some previous experiences. Gambling is terrible, which will make people's spirits worse and their appearance change. To tell the truth, I have experienced death. How did I feel when I died? I can recall my life in just a few seconds. I once cried in an Internet cafe in Hangzhou. At that time, I didn't go out to the internet cafe for a week. I went straight to sleep when I was tired. After waking up, I continued to play. That was 20 1 16 65438+ February. On the last day, I lost all my money. Suddenly I feel queasy, nauseous and cold sweat on my forehead. So I want to stand up and go to the bathroom. As soon as I left the chair, it suddenly got dark and I fell to the ground. I stood up before I fell down. Network management! Then I don't know. I know I will die in tears. In my death, I experienced my whole life. All important memories and important people are recalled. I have only deep regrets and worries about my death. I'm not worried about myself. I'm worried that my parents will remember all my parents' kindness to me. . Then slowly, I don't feel anything. . When I woke up, the stationmaster helped me up. I asked how long I was in a coma, and he said it was less than 2 minutes. So I was helped to sit in the chair, I said I was fine, and then the stationmaster left. I was lying in a chair, and I had no strength at all. It's cold, but I'm sweaty and my clothes are wet. My head is cold, too. I recall those memories about death. What a long time it is, at least 20 years have passed. . I'm leaving Hangzhou. I miss my parents. I will try to make them stop working and stop worrying about me. . One morning on February 20, 20 16, 16, it was about 9 o'clock in the morning. I can't remember the exact time.

Alas, that was the first time I knew that death was actually terrible and not terrible. The terrible thing is that you left with regret and worry. The terrible death is that you have a clear conscience in your life.

It is one o'clock in the morning. The weather is getting colder and colder these days. The factory is not so busy because of the power failure. alas

202 1- 10- 18-00-5 1

Some time ago, I often went for a walk in the stadium early in the morning and often met an old lady. I once saw her picking up rubbish. It's about 2 am. I was as poor as I am now, and I was very sad at that time. I thought it would be great if I could buy something and let her pick it up on the court. I didn't know it was so cold these days. . . . Alas, if I disappear, does anyone really care?

In my life these days, there are three internet cafes near here. I have traveled to and from three Internet cafes these days. The difference between Internet cafe 1 and Internet cafe 2 is 4 kilometers, and the difference between Internet cafe 3 and Internet cafe 2 kilometers. I'm afraid of staying in an internet cafe for a long time. Kicked out for not surfing the Internet.

The blow of life made me miserable, and gambling didn't make me lose the motivation to struggle, nor did it kill my efforts. I wander because I am green on the 26th.

After the 26th, my faith collapsed and I couldn't get out of the shadows. A relationship of 10 years has destroyed all my trust in this world. I don't trust anyone anymore. I broke into the house early in the morning and walked down the street. I don't feel cold when the wind is strong. I keep crying and my mind keeps echoing. This is not true. This is not true. This is just my dream. I hope she will wake up soon. Because I can't take it anymore.

The reality is cruel, which makes me less attached to the world. It's been nine days now. From grade one to grade three, I have no appetite, eat nothing and feel hungry. I ate some later, but I lost my appetite, had no money and didn't want to work. I'm still at work on the 26th. . I don't know how to get out of the shadows. I won't go to this company again, because everyone in the company has friends who know each other. . I can think of being betrayed when I see something familiar, and I can't breathe in my heart! I just want to leave this place when the company is on holiday. Oh, my God! I'm desperate for the world!

The traffic jam had made me miserable, but it didn't crush me. Now that my last line of defense has finally collapsed, maybe I will become a mental derangement. Maybe I can get out of this pain and start over. Maybe I really disappeared, and no one really cares!

At this moment, sitting in the Lanting in the park, watching the rain keep falling, I wish I had never been to this world. How I wish it was just a dream! Please let me forget my memory.

I dare not say I didn't eat, I dare not say I have nowhere to go, and I dare not ask for money. I'm afraid that public opinion will remind me of all kinds of things during this period. I am afraid that my mood will collapse again and I will be jealous again in this rainy Lanting. Although no one knows. And no one saw it!

My mobile phone is dying, so I don't care what the comments say. After all this, do you think your unfriendly public opinion can shake me? I don't know the reason for posting, maybe it's asking for help, or maybe I just want a warmth. This world makes me black and blue! ! I just want to cover up my painful memory! If it weren't for my parents, I just want the pain to disappear. The world is not worth it. I weep at the thought of my parents. Gambling didn't crush my confidence in success. What breaks my heart is the heart of the person I care about! !

It's almost 2 am, and I'm still walking in the street. I'm going to another internet cafe to charge! It's raining lightly in the sky. I didn't read the post before, but now I see many replies, some of which scold me. But after these things, I found that scolding me is so vulnerable to me compared with the pain of blog posting and emotional betrayal! Because blocking blogs makes me miserable, and the betrayal of feelings makes me unable to suffocate! ! Some said, stop blocking, brother, come on! Everything will pass, it will make me jealous! Some say to be strong for parents and live for future parents! Let me cry instantly! Yes! Now in this world, besides my parents, who else can really abandon me! ! I am also willing to go through fire and water for my parents and close relatives! Even if I lose my life, I will not hesitate. . This is my mother's life.

During this time, I went back and forth to three internet cafes to rest, and I have never seen what a bed looks like! There should be nothing! Although I have no money now! I was kicked out of the internet cafe and didn't turn on my cell phone! But I still have tens of thousands of accounts in the company. People she knows in the company will be sad to see me, so she won't go to this company again! Just wait for the company to check out for a holiday and leave this place. Some people say that posting is good, while others say that posting is not good. If I believe that the world is not so desperate, help me, I will be grateful. I will also appreciate you when I have the ability! I know this time won't be long! I admit that I am not good. No one is perfect. After all kinds of hardships, you can achieve a better self. Maybe this is just my own experience, or maybe I don't want to wake up! I will also remember an unforgettable time. In this node, I am deeply hurt and suffering, and I will meet people who hurt me. But I will also meet someone who warms me! During this time, I know that the mountain will collapse and the water will flow, and you will never fall by yourself. No one can make you fall, only you don't want to stand up!