Funny jokes in WeChat comments

A joke is an artistic piece of writing, and many words are contained in one paragraph. Next is the humorous paragraph in the WeChat comment I carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

Humorous jokes in WeChat comments (popular articles)

1. The banana fan was picked by the old gentleman in Taishang, but it was in the hands of the princess of the iron fan; Niu Mowang doesn't know samadhi, but Hong Haier is born with it. . . The connotation of this is really intriguing! Is there wood? !

2. Go to the cinema to watch The Painted Skin 2. It is said that ChristianRandPhillips was frozen by the cold fox in Kyubi no Youko. A man next door gloated:? You sing a fire in winter.

3. If you ctrl+alt+del and jump out of the task manager, you can glance from top to bottom, you know all the processes, know what they do, and know the consequences of turning them off, and you can clearly know the current state of the computer from the digital beat of CPU and memory usage, then you should not have a girlfriend.

4. It is forbidden to fall in love at school, but two students in our class still talk furtively. After being discovered by the class teacher, they called their parents. The head teacher originally wanted parents to talk about their children. As a result, the parents chatted and found that the other family was in good condition, so they got engaged and engaged?

5. Teach you how to write Wong Kar-wai lines in 5 seconds, that is, an event+a roundabout time+a boring event. For example, during the three days, six hours and eight minutes in after the car accident, I went to eat the cone again, but this time, I didn't want the taro flavor.

6. Have dinner in the canteen at noon today, and play with your mobile phone while eating. At this time, a beautiful woman who couldn't find an empty table sat opposite me. Suddenly, I became nervous. But in order not to lose my cool, I pretended to be calm. I wanted to have a gentle bite of rice, but I got excited and put my mobile phone in my mouth?

7. When the lights are turned off at night, the director kicks the door and says, Why don't you put it out? Then we'll turn off the lights. One day the bell rang, and the director broke into the house again. Before he could speak, a roommate said, Director, you can come, wait for you for a long time, and then turn off the light.

8. In the office, a female colleague and a male colleague bickered, but she picked up perfume and sprayed it on her clothes, then smiled and said: Tonight, wait for your daughter-in-law to fight hard with you! ?

9. When I was in college, sometimes I really didn't want to eat the food in the canteen, so I went to the food street outside the school. There were all kinds of delicious, delicious mouth water such as roast duck and roast chicken, so my appetite increased greatly, and then I went back to the school canteen to buy two steamed buns and half a dish to eat.

1. When a woman complains, a man should never give a solution, just go along with her. Example: The traffic jam is really annoying! Why not go the other way? Wrong. I told you we should leave early! Big mistake. I'll drive next time. Very wrong. Yeah, it's annoying. Right. Yes, it's annoying. Let's go eat delicious food later! Big pair. Yeah, it's annoying. Let's go eat delicious food later and buy you clothes. That's right!

Funny jokes in WeChat comments (classic)

1. I have a husky at home. Today, when I fed it dog food, out of curiosity, I picked up a piece and tasted it. Unexpectedly, after looking at me affectionately, the goods moved silently and gave me a place beside the rice basin.

2. One day, four Tang Priests and disciples came to Pansi Cave and saw seven beautiful women taking a bath in the pool. Pig's mouth was watering with greed. Seven fairies. ? Tang Priest just glanced at it and immediately put his hands together. Monster. ? Wukong said:? I admire you, these seven people are monsters, but how do you know that they are not the seven fairies without a critical eye? Tang Priest smiles: One of the seven fairies married Yong Dong, where will there be seven people taking a bath?

3. It is said that the actual appearance of girls = the beauty of everyone's head-3%. Handsome degree of boys = everyone's avatar effect +3%.

4. I rented a house alone. After taking a shower at 1 o'clock last night, I sent messages to my girlfriend in bed as usual. After sending one, I was too sleepy. I lay down for a while and woke up to find that it was already 12 o'clock. There were several messages from her on my mobile phone. What is it? Why don't you reply? ，? Are you still awake? Something like that, so my brain was short-circuited and I sent a message back: He's already asleep? As a result, my girlfriend's mobile phone has been turned off until now ...

5. Robbery! ? With a less standard mandarin, the plane suddenly boiled up. Eating, chatting, sleeping, all like hearing the signal, their eyes are shining and they look at the source of the sound excitedly. A flat-headed guy just lifted half a cup of transparent liquid and was crushed by everyone. Half an hour later, the young man woke up from a coma, looked at the serious female flight attendant in front of him, and finally finished the sentence in tears: big sister, add a glass of water!

6. When looking for a girlfriend, you should first look at her Taobao rating. Only one or two red stars are the best, and you must think twice before you go to the diamond.

7. In the evening when the spring breeze is rippling, a girl knocks on the door. I asked her who she was, and she shook her head and began to undress ... and then she came on time every Wednesday without saying a word. I called her Wednesday girl. A month later, on Wednesday, the girl finally spoke: Feng Dao, can I have a role? I pointed to the floor and said, Director Feng's house is downstairs, dear!

8. Mother criticizes her son: I don't understand how you can do so many stupid things in one day! ? . The son confidently replied:? Because I get up early. ?

9. A colleague got under the table and soon screamed:? Oh, no, I pressed the wrong button. I pressed the main switch of all computer patch panels! ? Everyone is surprised:? But our computers are still on? ! ? The voice of my colleague's distress came from under the table: I haven't raised my hand yet. The whole office is silent for two seconds! ! Turn it off! ! Turn it off! ! ! Save! ! Hold on, hold on! ! ! ?

1. My two-year-old daughter urinates at night before going to bed. Me: Daughter, how about taking a piss? Daughter: No. Me: Be good, sprinkle one, or you will wet the bed, catch cold, catch a cold, and then take medicine and injections. Daughter: No. When the struggle entered the stalemate stage, my wife came over, gave me a white look, and got it in one sentence: I'll take a photo of you when I wet the bed and put it online. Daughter: I have to pee! The network is mighty.

recommendation of paragraphs in wechat comments (selected articles)

1. A colleague in the company divorced because he found his wife cheating after returning home from a business trip for 2 days. I asked him how he found out. He said:? Through condoms. ? I asked:? Why, there are no fewer condoms. There were nine left when I left and nine when I came back. Then what's going on? I don't understand. ? It was Jasper when I left, and Durex when I came back.

2. A long time ago, in a computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. A classmate stood up and said, Teacher, the computer crashed, and all our platoon died. ? At this time, many students said:? We are dead, too. ? The teacher asked: Who else is not dead? Only one student stood up:? I'm not dead! ? The teacher said strangely:? The whole class is dead. Why don't you die?

3. A friend recently bought a car and took us out for a walk. My sister suddenly said to my wife, Sister, your friend drives steadily. Wife: Yeah. Look, another bike has passed.

4. As soon as the robber stood up, he shouted: Hijacking! The faces of the surrounding passengers were laughing, as if they saw a bunch of big characters glittering on the robber's head: dear, 3 million house, 1 million cash, dear, with BMW Audi car, free flight for life? It is estimated that the robbers will be kissed to death alive! Every passenger on the flight is waiting for the robber like waiting for the first love.

5. after graduating from college, a macho man sells second-hand college advanced mathematics textbooks, and the advertising words on the side of the books are:? 95% new, as evidenced by the make-up exam transcript! ?

6. I went to play ball once and met my math teacher. I score points when he plays ball. After a while, I deliberately miscalculated the score, and the teacher roared: Did you learn math from pigs? We paused for a moment, and then laughed for a long time.

7. A couple is sleeping in bed. It's about midnight. There seems to be some noise outside, which woke up his wife. The wife was a little in a daze, so she quickly woke up her husband. And said to her husband:? Get up quickly, as if my husband had come back. ? The husband was awakened by his wife, and he was also in a daze. After hearing his wife's words, he stood up and said: Why didn't you say so earlier? Then where should I hide now? ?

8. I have been playing well with a girl, but neither of them means to be together. Once we went out for a drink and sent her back after drinking, she suddenly took my arm and said, do you know what you are to me? Just when I was thinking about Youlemei, she said that you are my big aunt, and I am tired of seeing it.

9. I'm a 23-year-old female, and I can't drink well. I feel sleepy after one glass of beer. One day, my husband bought me two halls of pineapple beer. I drank one hall at dinner. After dinner, I didn't want to wash the dishes, so I lay on the sofa and got drunk. Nima's husband pulled me up and showed me the bottle: Does this drink contain alcohol?

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