There is no shortcut to being a parent-children are not good or bad, they just grow up to be what we educate them to be.

I think, like many mothers, I am in a different parenting theory. I don't know who is right or wrong, who is true or false. I often say, "If a child is beaten, fight back immediately?" "Toys were robbed. Shall I help him get it back? " ... arguments, confusion and confusion on such issues; There is also a family chat room, whose children are great and excellent, whose children are bad, beating people, crying and watching mobile phones ... "Good children" and "bad children" have become their appearance. ...

In fact, I want to say that there is no right or wrong education, only what kind of education we want to give him. For example, if I don't want him to be weak, I will naturally be more inclined to fight back. If you want him to be kind, you should teach him forgiveness and tolerance ... there is no difference between good and bad children, he just grows up as we taught him.

One day, I took him downstairs for a walk. His new toy plane is in full swing. Behind it, a pair of grandparents and grandchildren, the little boy has been chasing it, rushed up and grabbed it. Zhong Mibao's face was scratched by an airplane pole, and his brother cried happily. I know that Mi Bao's crying is aggrieved, sad and sad. At this time, grandma (didn't listen) you go to pick him up, if not, you take him home first. Come on, baby, don't cry. My aunt gave you candy. You are so noisy ... I pretended not to hear. I just stood beside Mi Bao (in fact, I also had an impulse to get it back, thinking of "love and freedom" and "full growth", so I held back). Let him vent his emotions and cry for a while. He said: "Mom picked it up to comfort me; I picked him up and comforted him in the usual way of our mother and son; After a while, he cried. I asked him: Is Mi Bao angry because the toy was robbed? My face was scratched. I feel wronged and sad, right? He nodded, and then I told him, what does Mi Bao want? But mom has to tell your brother first that he didn't scratch it on purpose. Oh, how do you solve it yourself? Then I left it alone, just watching and waiting. On the other hand, my grandmother has been telling her children loudly: Why are you so bad? You scratched my brother's face. Why don't you return the toys … I told you not to rob others, and you robbed them … After chatting for a while, the child cried. I think grandma was more worried, helpless and guilty about Xiaomi at that time. After a while, the child stopped crying. I went over to comfort my grandmother, pulled the child aside and said to him, honey, my aunt told you that my brother took this toy first, and you accidentally scratched my brother's face just now. What do you want to do next? I don't know if I will see the result I expected most at that time, but I want to try. He didn't apologize and return the toy as I expected, but at this time, Mi Bao came up to me happily and said, Mom, good things should take turns; I asked him, so you won't be angry, will you It's not hard, is it You can give your brother the small plane to play with, right? He ran away in a daze and went to play something else. After a while, he pointed to the small plane next to the child and said, brother, lend it to you for a while. Later, my brother gave it back to him himself, as if this unhappiness had never happened ... Maybe some people think it is weak, maybe some people think it is not good for children, maybe some people think there is no apology to say or "sorry", which is a negative education, but it is all his choice.

1. This matter has been hidden in my heart, and it is the most regrettable and sad journey on the road to parenting. I have been reluctant to mention it, but there will be no growth without experience. Think of it as an experience of life. IT was just after my last IT job, and I started early education around March 16. At that time, my children were still young, less than Wednesday of 1. Because the new center is still being renovated, it is really inconvenient to take children to work. I can only leave it at my aunt's house during the day (a neighbor I know in the next building), pick it up after work at night, and take it to work around 1 Friday. There is also a member baby who is about the same age as his father. Mi Bao became introverted, clingy, crying and quiet. It's like suddenly becoming a child, which makes me a little hard to believe. Some colleagues think that children have some problems and discuss my foster care and education methods. At that time, I became confused, panicked (consulted many professionals), and even felt guilty, because the crying of the child affected the normal life of the baby and the office of my colleagues. Therefore, when the child cries, I am anxious and annoyed. I always hoped that he would be as confident, smiling, lively and cheerful as when he was a child. I always hope that he can be obedient, smart and liked by everyone. However, the more I look forward to it, the more anxious I am, and the worse I am ... I have been trapped in why the child has changed and when it can change back to what I want. I can't walk out of the road that everyone likes, but I ignore what he looks like now, and I can't accept him correctly and help him ... later. Fortunately, the child soon regained his sunshine and confidence. Most importantly, through practice and cases, I realized the secrets and needs of children growing up in the field of parenting. In fact, crying is a normal way for children to express their emotions. It's just that we adults' inner irritability has turned him into something we hate. Sorry, son!

2. Then I want to talk about children's reading. Everyone knows that reading is good for children. As an early education worker, I want him to be a child who loves reading and an example for many members' babies. So I followed the reading craze and started various practical actions such as bedside table book sorting, living room bookcase, online shopping picture books and so on. At the beginning of his sensitive reading period, there was indeed a time when he would open the picture book and read it carefully before going to bed. I am also proud to keep a record of his every reading and bask in my circle of friends, but to be honest, I didn't read much myself at that time. When a person takes his children to work and comes home from work, he has to start preparing their children's dinner in a hurry. He finally stayed up until after ten o'clock, and I still have unfinished housework and work, leaving little time for reading. Even when he needed me to accompany him to study, I was busy with my mother's business, and Mimi seemed to send him away. I found that he went from talking to himself for a short time to not being very active, and it took only a short time to sit down and watch. After a long time, he became impatient ... At that time, he always picked up my mobile phone from time to time and said, give it to my mother. I didn't want to look at my mobile phone at that time, so I had to take it and say, thank you Mimi. It was not until September that I quit my job and took him to my dad's place that I gradually found myself. My child always picks up the book I am reading now and says to me: Show it to my mother, and he will also pick up his favorite picture book, which can be read all morning or afternoon. He will also take him to the early education center and take the initiative to ask me to help him find the series he wants to see. He will apply what he sees in the picture book to his life. At this time, I understood that I always forced him to be what I said, but because of my carelessness, he almost lost his appearance.

I didn't know much about the growth of "spiritual embryo" before, but paid more attention to his daily diet. Most friends who know my children will say that your children are really well raised. Your child has a good appetite and tastes good. It can be seen that I have made great efforts in eating and drinking Lazar. Gradually, with the exploration and practice of parenting, as well as the behavior of children in the process of growth, I deeply believe that the other body that grows up with children every day is also eager to feed, which is what Teacher Sun Ruixue said, love is the main nutrient of this "spiritual embryo", so I sum it up as ".

1. Obey him and let us play like children.

Before, because I had to take him to work alone, I had to cook my own lunch with my children and send it to the center early, and then I had to solve my children's breakfast and catch the bus, so every morning was like a war, and I wanted to grow eight hands. The most distressing thing is that all the children stay in bed or eat and dress. I also want to take a nap in my time at noon, because I have to go to work after 2 o'clock, so I can't sleep with him. In the evening, I want him to eat and sleep at my pace. Because I have housework, work and food to prepare the next day, I really don't have much so-called "leisure time" to play with him. Although Mi Bao ate and slept regularly from childhood, which seldom worried me, I could feel that his other body was constantly longing for my closeness and caress. Later, I made a rule for myself: work hard at work and work hard after work. I try not to worry about going to bed at 9: 00 or 9: 30 at night, so that I can play with him for half an hour, play with his smelly feet and play seemingly inappropriate jokes or games. Don't worry about being a few minutes early or a few minutes late in the morning, you can have lunch occasionally, buy some steamed buns for breakfast, let him rub his eyes and coquetry for a few minutes ... and the dinner is as simple and convenient as possible, such as noodles and coquetry. Sleep late with him on the rest day, hide in the quilt and play hide-and-seek. As long as he wants to play, he will go crazy with him ... Slowly, I found that my state is getting better and better, calm and calm, and my children are more happy and confident, and with my rhythm, language and all aspects of behavioral ability, I am surprised. I think this may be because his mental body is full and no longer craves;

2. Good support lies in the "first time" with each of them.

I have been paying close attention to the sensitive period and performance of the child since I learned about his sensitive period. After analyzing a lot of behaviors, I found that all the behaviors originated from that incident and were related to my "first appearance". Here are a few examples: there is an impressive example-taking out the garbage. Since he began to help with housework, his favorite thing is to take out the garbage. I remember the first time I took him there. I pick up garbage, and he takes it to the first floor. From then until now, whenever there are cartons or littering at home, he no longer says that cartons should be sold to grandma; When I realized this problem, I paid special attention to my words and deeds, especially about Gong's morality. I remember the first time I ate popsicles with him in the street. When I wanted to throw away the outer packaging bag, I suddenly remembered that Mi Bao was looking at the popsicle in my hand. I stood up and threw them in the trash can, and then I waited to throw the popsicles and sticks into the trash can. I didn't emphasize anything about him, but said when I threw it: When I observed him later, no matter what rubbish he had, he would find a trash can to throw (unless I allowed him to throw grass under some special circumstances). When he had garbage in his hand, I didn't emphasize what he would do, so I just watched what he would do quietly.

On another occasion, his sensitive period of order came more than two weeks ago. Once I had dinner with many people, I randomly found a place where I could put a baby chair. After Mi Bao finished eating, I changed my position to chat with my friends. As a result, he was very excited. He cried and pointed to my previous position: mom is sitting here; After a while, he went to that place for dinner again, but he still asked to sit in the same position as last time. ...

I think there are too many such examples in life. It seems that one of your casual actions, especially the first time, has taken root in children's hearts silently ... So now I pay special attention to my words and deeds, especially in public places, events involving morality or principles (for example, in daily life, I don't advocate thrift but I advocate waste, so I will say don't waste water, and I don't want to save water. And I may have missed many "firsts" when I did it with him for the first time, but I still firmly believe that it is never too late for good things. I want to thank my children for giving me the opportunity to push myself and practice again.

3. Respect his likes that don't match you.

I can also say hobby. From the moment I was pregnant with him, I fantasized and expected him to like singing, dancing, playing the piano, reading books and so on, because these are also my favorite things, and I didn't bother much about prenatal education and daily life. However, contrary to expectations, he did not show interest in these projects, but was interested in painting, kitchen, trains, repairs and screws. God, everything else in the kitchen is my weakness. Fortunately, I often read about it in books. Let the children like it themselves. We just help him to make his hobby better. So I began to accept the status quo and let Mi Dad cooperate (the young man who lives with him is also very awesome). He likes trains. He not only watches trains with him for a while every day, but also helps him find picture books of various trains. He began to understand the history of the train and accompanied him to take the train downstairs in the community. In this process, he found himself looking for the track and law of the train. He also asked me, his father and my uncle at home to follow his path and give orders in various ways, resulting in their own rules. I heard him shout several times: mom cheated on me again, which attracted passers-by's incomprehension and surprise, but I ignored their ridicule and continued to accompany him to cheat. Now he is very sensitive to the sound of the train and will tell me on the sofa: I heard the sound of the train. I didn't believe it at first, but I just obeyed him. Then let's see if the train has come. After several trips, I found that in most cases, he really heard or felt the train coming ... It turns out that children's hobbies don't need us to teach, respect, accept and help him to make him like him more.

I only play with him.

My child just turned 3. There are not many nursery rhymes, and his knowledge of numbers is limited. However, I am not in a hurry, worried, inferior or disappointing. These are all for his future teachers to teach. What I want to do is to feed his "spiritual embryo" every day, take him to explore and observe nature, take him to the appropriate early education center to experience and feel, and take him to play physical games.

Finally, I still want to say that there is no right or wrong education, and there are good and bad children. Everything is just what we want in our hearts. Try to be your best self first. As for what he will look like in the future, it is his own business, and we have been reshaping, cultivating, growing, experiencing, feeling, owning and enjoying on this road ...