Funny sentences that make your boyfriend angry?

Here are some funny sentences that may be applicable to exploding boyfriends:

Let's break up. You are too much trouble. I want to find a simpler man.

Why are you always so lazy? Is it because you picked it up from a pig farm?

Are you out of your mind? How can I find a man like you?

Do you know why I always come home late? Because I'd rather be with my friends than go home to see you.

You are really cute, like a puppy, but I already have a dog.

You say you are the only one for me, but I want to tell you that the only thing is that I want to leave you.

You seem to have gained a little weight recently. Is it because you ate too much terrible food I cooked for you?

I just found out that I am smarter than you. I don't want to hold you back. Let's break up.

You know, when I am with you, I feel like I am communicating with a piece of wood.

The gap between us is too big. I think you should find a girl as stupid as you.