Lines from Guo, Zhao Liang's sketch Crossroads

Old man: Old man, I am 53 years old. I set up a tea stall on the side of the road, and a bowl of tea costs ten cents, which is convenient for pedestrians.

Gazi: Getting rich depends on ourselves, so that we can do more with less money. Ask me what I can do, ask the way, two yuan.

Old man: Gazi, what are you doing?

Gazi: I am waiting for someone ... I wait once a thousand years, and I have been waiting. ...

Guo: Oh, what a pity! This man is highly nearsighted. If he has no eyes, he will be blind. Don't look at me with your eyes It is actually a picture frame. Just now, at the intersection ahead, I fell down. Well, both lenses are broken. Why are you blind? Alas, something is furry.

Gazi: Go!

Guo: It seems to be a person.

Gazi: He is human.

Guo: Oh, sorry, sorry.

Old man: Come, sit down, tea, a bowl of ten cents.

Guo: Great, I'll have a bowl.

how much is it?

Old man: A bowl is ten cents.

K: Ten cents.

Old man: This is a piece.

Guo: How can it be a piece? Is it a dime?

Old man: Is this clearly a piece? It's a dime (pointing).

Guo: What! Don't touch other people's money!

Which one do you say is a dime?

Old man: Here's a dime.

Guo: How can it be a dime? It's obviously a piece.

Old man: this is obviously a dime!

K: Oh, here you are. I don't care about one yuan and two yuan.

I don't want tea either.

I just want to ask how to get to Xiaowangzhuang in Dawang Township.

Old man: You asked. Here it is.

Guo: This is it? Old people should not be dishonest.

Old man: Why am I dishonest?

Guo: I have never been to Xiaowangzhuang, Dawang Township.

Old man: You have been there and asked me!

Guo: You shouldn't lie when I ask you!

Old man: How did I lie to you?

Guo: You didn't cheat me into taking a piece, saying it was a dime!

Old man: Who? You said yes! (The old man gets up and walks behind Gazi, who stops him. )

Guo: Who am I? You took a dollar from me. Who am I? You cheated me of 90 cents for no reason. Who am I? Talk, talk!

Gazi: Hey, I'll tell you how to get to Xiaowangzhuang in Dawang Township.

Guo: Oh, great.

Gazi: Go straight from here, turn left at the first crossing, turn left at the next crossing, and you'll be there.

Guo: Turn left, turn left, turn left. It seems to be a circle.

Gazi: Go ahead, you'll be right.

K: Oh, ok, thank you.

(Talking to the old man later) Look at him.

Gazi: Can people compete with each other?

Guo: Really, goodbye.

Gazi: Come back.

Guo: Ah.

Gazi: Give money.

Guo: What kind of money?

Gazi: Ask for money.

Guo: Ask for directions and pay back the money?

Gazi: Didn't it say, Ask for directions, two yuan?

Guo: Ouch! ! It costs two yuan to ask for directions!

Old man: (getting up and pulling Gazi) I said Gazi, what is this?

Guo: (to the old man) What's the matter with you! Young people earn money in the open, unlike you in the dark.

how much is it?

Gazi: (happily) Two pieces!

Guo: I'll give it to you.

Two

Old man: That's one hundred.

Guo: That's 1000! I'm willing to give, two pieces.

Hey, what's up? I was cheated out of ninety cents by this old man for no reason.

Damn it!

Old man: Hey, what do you call this man? This is! This fool, I said fool, come back!

Gazi: That's a clever move. Hurry up and raise the price!

Old man: I said Gazi, asking for directions by charging is something my ancestors have never done for eight generations.

Gazi: My ancestors didn't do it for eight generations. I can't do it.

Old man: It's wicked of you to charge him two dollars and cheat him one hundred dollars.

Gazi: It's none of your business (stealing his 2 yuan brand).

Old man: I am still in charge of this matter.

Gazi: I said, old man, I finally figured out a way to make money. How's this? Let's be partners, 37, 46! This is your phone ... Grandpa! Uncle! ! (Bowing)

Old man: It's no use calling you dad!

Gazi: Free directions and free tea. I said, old man, don't trust me now.

Old man: I don't know if he believes it.

Gazi: We'll see.

Old man: We'll see. Here comes the driver.

K: OK, where is this? This is what our drivers are afraid of. There are too many intersections, and we are lost!

Old man: I said, comrade, you ask. I know this place too well. There is nothing I don't know about dozens of miles in Fiona Fang, Fiona Fang.

Guo: Boy! This man, excessive enthusiasm is really scary.

I'll go and have a look first (go to Gazi and whisper as I walk). Son, you scared me.

Guo: Asking for directions is ten yuan, which is dark enough (look back at the old man's sign).

Free guide, white tea and water

Guo: This is Tuo!

Old man: Come on, let's drink water to quench our thirst!

Guo: How much is a bowl of water?

Old man: Isn't that what it says? No money.

Guo: I drank it for nothing.

I can drink for nothing (raise a glass to drink water)

Gazi: Have a good drink.

Guo: I almost fell for it.

Old man: My water is poisonous!

Guo: I didn't say that water was poisonous.

I mean hongqi chemical plant.

(The old man and Gazi pull the driver at the same time, each with one arm. The old man robbed, and Gazi changed the price. )

Old man: I tell you, you go straight ahead from here.

Guo: Stop it! I didn't hear that. Boy, how much is it?

(Looking back at Gazi) How did it become twenty?

Old man: (looking aggrieved) I don't want money.

Guo: I'd better ask the price tag clearly. Isn't it only ten dollars?

(Looking for Gazi in the past) It was only ten dollars just now, how did it become twenty!

Gazi: He doesn't want money there. Ask him.

Guo: This is a group.

Old man: Who's with him? He is him and I am me.

Guo: He is him, you are you, and I gave you the money. We can divide it later.

Old man: I really don't want money.

Guo: Are you kidding?

Old man: I can't fool anyone.

Guo: Then you still cheated.

Old man: Why do you think I lied to you at my age?

Guo: Don't tell me that.

Old man (emphasis): I'll take you! (The two are dumbfounded, and the old man goes to collect the stall)

I can't set up a tea stall, so I can't believe I can't beat this evil.

I said, comrade, you drive and we'll go together. When I saw the sign of Hongqi Chemical Factory, I walked back by myself. Can you believe it?

Guo: I believe it.

Old man: Go! (getting up to go)

Guo: Grandpa, please wait a moment. Let me say a few words to this brother.

Brother, come here, I'll give you a word, I'll give you four words: what the hell!

The old man laughed and said, Gazi, it's wicked of you to ask for directions.

Guo: Look at people. Who said uncle Lei Feng left? Who is this? This is Uncle Lei Feng! Grandpa, let's go!

Gazi: (shouting loudly) Dad!

Guo: Dad?

(pointing to the old man) Old man, I knew you were a procrastinator!

Run to gazi, brother, and don't say anything. Let me go.

Old man: (running to hold the driver) Who is his father?

Guo: (Begging for mercy) Grandpa, I really don't have much money on me.

Old man: Comrade, you misunderstood.

Gazi: Dad, earn others 10 yuan. Let's not be so gloomy.

Guo: My brother is kind-hearted.

Old man: I'm really not his father

Guo: You are my father!

The old man looked helpless: alas (and then sat down and became a thinker-refer to Rodin's sculpture The Thinker)

Guo: Dad, can't you call it fun? I still don't understand this. Dude, Hongqi Chemical ... I won't ask.

I'd better drive around. I ...

Gazi: Hey, Master, Master Geng, old man, you said you were wicked or not, but you screwed up all the business you got.

Old man: I hit you, you son of a bitch.

Gazi: Why did you hit me?

Old man: Why should I hit you? If you cheat, I'll fix you.

Gazi: I'm rich.

Old man: When I have money, please treat me first!

Guo: Stop it! A word from a gentleman, a forgotten horse ~ oh, no, a word from a gentleman, a forgotten horse.

Oh, I just bought a pair of glasses and my eyes stopped a fight. This place is too familiar.

Old man: You've been here before.

Guo: I've been here?

Old man: Look at him.

Guo: I found you.

Gazi: What's the matter?

Guo: What's the matter? What is left, left, left, left, left?

Gazi: Don't you notice?

Guo: Yes, where's my money!

Gazi: What money?

Guo: Money! I found that I was missing 100 yuan when I bought my eyes just now. You must have it.

Gazi: Why do I have it? I didn't take your money.

Guo: Give it back, give it back, give it back ... Where are my glasses? Help me find it.

Gazi: Here it is (help Guo pick it up)

Guo: That's it. The glasses are broken again, but you can't run away. Give me my money back.

Old man: Hey, I said Gazi! Give me my money back! Why don't I take you to the village Committee

Guo: The village committee is too serious. Send it to the public security bureau!

Gazi: Huh? !

Guo: Give me my money back.

Gazi: Here you are, here you are.

K: Here is two yuan.

Old man: This is one hundred.

Guo: This is one thousand!

Old man: Look, here we go again.

Guo: Give me my money back, or we'll go to the public security bureau now.

Gazi: I can't say it clearly. I think it is bad luck. I'll give you a hundred.

Guo: Give me another one ... or two dollars.

(Gazi hides behind the old man in fear)

Guo: Give me my money back.

Gazi: Uncle Geng, are you right? Uncle Geng, please help me.

Old man: You asked for it.

Guo: Give me my money back!

Old man: Comrade, wait a minute. I said gazi, it is immoral to charge for directions. If you treat this as a business, you will make money. Can you be practical in your heart? Huh?

Gazi: I won't do it again, but this money ...

Old man: Comrade, do you believe me?

Guo: Oh, old man, of course I believe you. I don't believe him, but I can't tell which of the two is one hundred and which is two.

Old man: Both of them are one hundred.

K: OK, come here. Today, for the old man's sake, I will spare you, but this money

Gazi: Do you need more money? (Turn and run)

Guo: I want to pay you back the money, stop it!