Where is the year

On June 65438+1October 2 1 in 2023, the Lunar New Year came. As usual, 26-year-old Xu Fei followed her parents back to Sibo's home to celebrate the New Year with her grandmother. On the New Year's Eve dinner table, he was worried about whether his parents or relatives would urge marriage in person. Fortunately, he "dodged a bullet". He breathed a sigh of relief at the end of the first day and the end of the extended family group year.

People who go to the market on New Year's Eve.

Xu Fei has been home for almost a month. On February 26th, 2022, 65438, I returned to my hometown in Hubei after studying in 985 University. It is the day when a family buys new year's goods on the second day of the twelfth lunar month in the traditional solar terms. In order to welcome him back, his parents drank 30 Jin more sausages.

But after a long time, he found that the stability of these materials was not enough to bridge the "spiritual gap" between him and his parents. On normal days, parents will urge marriage intentionally or unintentionally. He had to adopt delaying tactics to avoid the outbreak of contradictions.

Xu Fei had two relationships, but in his sensitive cognition, neither of them can be called "love". He always remembers Cai Lan saying, "You can believe in love, but don't be superstitious." He likes this answer with the expectation of love. In the tug-of-war, he and his parents reached the only understanding-feelings first, marriage last.

Today, Xu Fei will graduate in a year and a half. I plan to settle down in a second-tier city by majoring in computer science, without the help of my parents. He is sometimes confused and feels that he may not be able to withstand the tempering of society. But he still has hope of surpassing his present life.

The following is Xu Fei's dictation:

Xu Fei's four uncles are preparing for the New Year's Eve dinner.

65438+1October 2 1, on New Year's Eve, my parents and I went to see my grandmother. She lives in Sibo's house now, so we will go there for the New Year as usual. There is the country. We used to burn braziers to keep warm in previous years. Now that the conditions are good, the brazier will still burn all day if the air conditioner is turned on. Fill enough firewood and don't put it out, which means that the new year is booming.

Charcoal brazier in Xu Fei.

We have two tables for New Year's Eve, one for adults and one for children. It's twenty-six, and I still like crowded children's tables. Then watch TV with them, wait for the countdown to the Spring Festival Gala, and let's set off fireworks at twelve o'clock. The houses in my hometown and town are small buildings, which have sprung up along the roadside. Every family should set off fireworks in front of their own house before zero. The New Year's bell rang on TV, fireworks lit up the night sky of every household along the main road, and the New Year arrived. You can't throw away the rubbish left by fireworks. My grandmother said that this is wealth, and it can't be thrown away until the end of the year.

New Year's dinner in Xu Fei.

Fireworks are set off at home at zero.

My relatives in my hometown live very close. On New Year's Day, I went to my uncle's house to eat jiaozi. The next day, I went back to my mother's house. I'm not married. I went back to my grandmother's house to have dinner with my parents.

They urged me to get married two years ago, and this year is no exception.

On October 7th, 65438/KLOC-0, I watched TV with my parents. There is a sketch on TV. The first part is about older young women being forced to get married, and the second part is about having children. I complained that it was boring. My parents said, "You young people don't understand. You will be happy if you have a family. Someone loves you and someone takes care of you. " I said, "Nowadays, young people are under great work pressure and cannot support themselves." My mother thought, "When you have children, you will be happy when you go home and have a look." Speaking of which, I was silent.

It's been almost a month since I went home. I went back on February 26th, 65438 last year. Sometimes I stay out for a long time and always want to go home and have a look. But when I go back, I have to try my best to make my mother happy-get up early and have breakfast on time. I dare not order takeout at home, my mother will think I am a waste. They picked me up when I went home that day and cut a plate of my favorite sausage, which is a necessary new year's goods for my hometown. Starting from the twelfth lunar month, new year's goods are parents' worries. As soon as they have a holiday, they will run to the market. When they see good quality beef, mutton and fish, they will buy them, pickle them, blow dry them and make them into bacon. In previous years, more than 20 kilograms of sausages were prepared at home. In the past two years, I have been outside, and my parents have prepared a lot, 50 or 60 kilograms.

Xu Fei's parents made new year's goods.

Two years ago, my parents urged me to get married, saying that with a stable family, I was motivated to take on the responsibility as a man.

But I don't think so. During the New Year holiday, my mother and I went to her cousin's house. Mother's cousin is still unmarried. Every time I go home, my mother says it's too cold and cheerless. Although she is comfortable, she is also a kind of unrestrained and broken life.

My parents' ideal daughter-in-law is the same as most families-kind and filial, with the same conditions. But they still told me that the premise is that both sides should have feelings. On the contrary, I sometimes advise them that times have changed, people's hearts are not so pure, and it is difficult to find a person to convey their sincerity. A person can live well.

But they wouldn't listen. By default, I will get married in two years. I had to take delaying tactics and draw a pie: fate is not here yet, and the time is not ripe. I want to get married again when my job is stable. Sometimes I will use my eldest cousin, who has failed in blind date many times, as a shield: "Look, hurry up, my sister has not been married for several years this year." You can fool once. Just once. In two years, the contradiction is expected to be more intense, so I can only hide.

In their minds, if I don't get married, they won't have fulfilled their mission.

I have been in love twice. Once in college, it was the first time I really liked a girl. And the recent entanglement with childhood friends. These two paragraphs are not really together. But personally, this is all my heart, and I feel deeply tired in the end. But sometimes I feel that liking them is like liking a good person. I can't say I love them. I also asked my friends, what is the state and feeling of love? She said something I didn't understand and told me to look at that The English Patient.

The bus stop in front of Xu Fei's hometown.

As far as I'm concerned, feelings come first and marriage comes second. I don't believe in human nature, so it's hard to start a relationship easily. Marriage is more like an exam composition, which is the standard answer to the last question. At this age, married, the mainstream society judges that you have passed. I don't like loneliness, but compared with two people being forced to get married, loneliness becomes tolerable.

I have a college classmate who is also a fellow villager. After graduation, he went to work, doing the operation and maintenance of electronic factories. Last year, he got married at the urging of his parents. This woman is a former colleague. He informed me that the marriage was sudden, and my emotional impression of him was still in my first love in college. At that time, he was very serious. Although we broke up later, it took a year and a half to give up completely. That when I heard the news of his marriage, I was in a trance and time passed quickly.

Later, he told me that my life was under great pressure, and I had to pay off my mortgage and take care of my parents on both sides. I think he is very tired, but it seems that many people are in this situation.

Another friend who was a close friend in elementary school got married. I saw his circle of friends before, and he took a pair of children to eat KFC. The children were very cute. At that moment, I thought he was very happy, belonging to the kind of family happiness that both parents believed.

But this doesn't seem to be the life I am looking forward to now. I remember it was Wednesday when he sent photos of his circle of friends. I smiled and said to my friends around me, "My primary school classmates all have children, but I don't envy them. He will take the children to KFC on Wednesday, which is a waste. I will endure one day and eat wildly on Thursday. "

Most of the elders in the family use Tik Tok, and there are also Tik Tok groups, which form a circle to pay attention to each other and take selfie sticks when they go out. Pushing it around is the same thing. I get bored when I see what they brush. For example, my mother used to like to watch masters talk about things, such as "What shortcomings can a woman get rid of in order to be happy", but now she likes to watch videos of "showing filial piety first" and "thanking her parents" and often forwards them to me.

There are many people who use Tik Tok in our hometown, not just middle-aged and elderly people. Once, a person I like sent me a vibrato video to reason with me-a "Buddhist master" in ——Tik Tok said, "The road is blocked, you should learn to turn, if you are unhappy, you should learn to bow your head. The answer is tomorrow. " At that moment, I realized that we were not on the same side at all.

Actually, my parents are very kind to me. I studied computer, took the postgraduate entrance examination for three years, and finally got a 985 part-time graduate student from one book and two books. During this period, instead of forcing me to find a job and support my family to make money, they have been providing me with financial support. I don't have any requirements for my job, but I think I can support myself. As the only child of our generation, many parents have devoted all their efforts, and my parents are no exception-they also plan to buy a house for me when I get married, prepare a down payment of 1 10,000 yuan, buy me a car when I work, and help me start my life.

There is a line in "The Thief of the Years": "Be a man, always believe." I will still think of this sentence in "The Thief of Time" and I will long for love. Someone in Weibo, Cai Lan also asked him: "Can you still believe in love?" He replied: "You can believe it, don't be superstitious." I like this answer.

Learning computer is not my hobby, but because it is a popular major, it has become my survival skill. But this year, Internet employment is sluggish, and I haven't officially started looking for a job, but I have to plan ahead. I want to choose an affordable city life in the future-Chengdu, Suzhou and Changsha, all of which have their own unique life atmosphere. When I can't hold on any longer, I will consider going back to my hometown. Sometimes I am confused and feel that I may not be able to withstand the tempering of society. But I still have hope to go beyond my present life. I usually like listening to folk songs. When my job is stable and I have time, I just want to learn a musical instrument and work in a band.