Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Tell me about the embarrassing things in life?
Tell me about the embarrassing things in life?
In this way, after the newly-married wife "occupied" her for two nights, I stayed in the newly-married empty bed for two nights without sleeping. After dinner on the third day, I secretly told my new wife about my loneliness, which meant to let her go back to our room to sleep. As we all know, young people's wedding night is so precious, and that "thing" and those relationships are so charming. But what I can't understand is that my wife was dragged to her room to sleep with me in front of me.
So after a week, my wife didn't leave, and my wife and cousin came to persuade her to go home, but it was useless. My mother also saw the "seriousness of the problem" of this wife occupying my wife, and she began to understand this wife. As a result, this wife had a head like water and took my wife away like a prisoner when she slept.
During the half-month when my wife came to my house, I lived a lonely "pain" like a year. At two o'clock in the morning that night, loneliness and the impulse to need a new wife could not be calmed down. I knocked on my wife's bedroom door in despair. At that time, my wife must have known what was going on, but the silly wife was still so stupid to ask inside; "What is it? Do you call me "XXX" or "my wife"? I was so angry that my face was gone. " Why did I call you? Tell you to make soup for others? Although it was too much at the time, I dared to say anything in a rage.
At that time, my new wife knew that I was really "crazy". After she opened the door, she came into our room and complained about me. Then we waited calmly in bed and began to do what we had to do in these ten days.
The next morning, before my wife and sister-in-law got up, I slipped away and went to work after breakfast outside, but I always felt a little guilty about her. My wife called me at work and said that she would send her to the station to drive her car home. My wife didn't mean to blame me.
10 years ago, agriculture there was very prosperous, and almost every household had several pigs. One day, a few of us had nothing to do to play cards, and the village director's wife came over. When she saw her husband, she shouted, "Stop playing, our sow is gone!" " "It turned out that his sow was in heat and ran out of the pigsty. When his wife came back from outside, she saw the door of the yard wide open. The pig disappeared, so she quickly called someone to look for it. The director was very calm. He bought a cigarette in the supermarket and sent it to several of us for help. Asked about the characteristics of pigs, everyone rushed to ride away. The two directors naturally ran more happily. I have searched all the intersections and nearby villages, and the trace is hard to find. The director broadcast it several times in the village. It's getting dark and there's no news. The director said to his wife, "Go home and I'll take them to dinner. "Before we were seated in the hotel, his wife called, and the director put us on speakerphone, which made us laugh and cry. His wife came home and heard a lot of noise in the bedroom. When she opened the door, she was stunned by what she saw: the lost sow was in the house! It turned out that the sow ran out of the circle and entered the living room. After some tossing, she broke into the bedroom. The bedroom door was locked, so she couldn't get in or out. The pig in heat is crazy. The bedding quilt on the bed, the hanging clothes and some ornaments were torn by it. It was too painful to go in! I clearly heard sobbing: "Come back, sell or kill. Anyway, I was angry ... "。
That was when my girlfriend and I were in love.
We work in different districts, far away. It takes about forty minutes by bus. At that time, I had lived with my girlfriend and rented a one-bedroom apartment near her company. Normally, I will get together on Saturday and Sunday. My girlfriend has a good girlfriend in the company. She is about the same age as her girlfriend and has long hair. She often comes to rent a house to play.
One week, the company originally planned to work overtime, and I told my girlfriend that I wouldn't come back this week. Later, on Saturday morning, the company temporarily decided to have a holiday in the afternoon and Sunday. So in the afternoon, I went straight back without telling my girlfriend.
When I rented a house, there was a loud noise in the bathroom. The bathroom door was broken and I didn't have time to repair it. I guess my girlfriend is taking a shower. I opened the door and it was washing. My back is red and I keep talking to her. What happened? She was a little shaky and silent. Strange, I slapped her and said why don't you talk today? With a scream, she turned and said it was me. Shit, it's my girlfriend's best friend. I was completely stupid. She stood naked face to face with me, and my girlfriend and best friend were stunned and blushed.
Later, I learned that their company dormitory was cut off from water, and my girlfriend just asked her to play and took a bath. My girlfriend happened to have something to deal with.
My girlfriend and I were embarrassed beyond description. Fortunately, my girlfriend never knew about it.
Looking back now, it will be funny.
In the first grade of junior high school, I was the math class representative in my class. Our math teacher and head teacher is a beautiful young unmarried female teacher.
At that time, the school conditions were not good, the classrooms were dilapidated brick houses, and the classrooms and campuses were all that kind of mud. Two tile-roofed houses are offices, and the principal still lives in them. So the teachers are correcting homework in the house where they live.
In the small room where the head teacher lives, a bed is facing the door, and a table next to it is packed. Every time I send out my exercise book, I just go in. Once at noon, I collected all my homework. It was raining outside, so I hurried to deliver my homework. I didn't knock because I was in a hurry, so I just pushed the door open and went in. As soon as I entered the door, I saw the math teacher and a male teacher hugging each other in bed. I was so scared that I put down my homework and ran away without even closing the door.
Next, as long as the head teacher is in the classroom, I am scared away and dare not look up. That semester was so long that I was afraid to tell anyone.
Let me also talk about an embarrassing thing. I remember that I was only 18 years old at that time, playing with a girl in the same village, and I liked to run to her house when I was free. At that time, her eldest brother and sister-in-law lived together and did not separate. His eldest brother repaired the house, borrowed money from the credit union and went out to work. Her eldest sister-in-law works in Zhensi Factory and seldom stays at home. At noon that day, I saw her door open and there was a tape recorder singing inside. Turned to enter the bedroom and saw the director of the credit union holding her sister-in-law. I left immediately, but they found out. I was embarrassed to go to her house afterwards, and later she became someone else's daughter-in-law.
Let me talk about an embarrassing thing in my third grade, which is also quite funny. It's embarrassing to think about it now.
In the third grade, I was very nervous about my study. Every teacher has worked very hard to teach us this on-the-spot skill. That's because I can't wait to get into our stomachs. Time is even more tense at ordinary times. The teacher who just finished class has arrived and won't even give him time to go to the toilet.
That time, I just finished my English class and the next physics class. The teacher gave us a lesson in the multimedia classroom. I felt a little pee during class, and finally I waited until the class was over, damn it. The math teacher went on with the class without even giving time to go to the toilet. He said there was a teacher taking this class. Boy, seven teachers come to the class, sit in the back, and then start the class. I really can't hold it in the middle. During the group discussion, I saw the teacher coming to our side and wanted to take a leave. The teacher said that the students couldn't stand it any longer, so he refused directly. I really can't help it. After consulting with my deskmate.
Throwing caution to the wind, I saw a bottle on the windowsill, and Nima secretly took it down to pee. If there is a sound, let the deskmate cooperate. I have been coughing. The most irritating thing is that I can't stand it, so I just threw myself on the ground. My deskmate smiled. It was really embarrassing at the time, but it would be nice to solve it.
If I were like this now, I wouldn't blame you for class discipline and go straight out. Hey, I was afraid of teachers.
Just married for more than 90 years, the movie was shown in the village at night. My wife and I sat on the bench early and occupied a better position in the venue. Shortly after the film was released, a girl from my wife's village greeted her and asked her to sit with us. She was supposed to sit next to it. The person sitting right in front of her is taller, which will block the view, so she sits in the middle and my wife and I sit on both sides. At that time, it was a romantic movie with many sentimental scenes. I got carried away, thinking that my wife was sitting in the middle, so I reached out and held the girl's hand. Strangely enough, that girl also held my hand tightly and stuck it on her thigh. It took me a long time to realize that I had to let go of my hand and peek at the reaction of my wife and the girl, but they naturally stared at the screen, but I was too nervous to know what the movie was about. Coincidentally, the girl married my neighbor's house the next year.
These embarrassing things really happened to me!
Last year, my mother-in-law helped me with my children for half a year. Because I rent a house outside, the room is quite big. In order to save money and take care of the children conveniently, I put two beds, one for me and one for her. My husband lives in the factory and comes once a week. Usually my mother-in-law snores loudly when she sleeps. My husband came over on Sunday, and she didn't sleep at night, tossing and turning, deliberately sleeping on our side! Husband ran over and asked her what was wrong. She said coquetry: hey, I can't sleep, I can't sleep, the kind with feminine taste. I have goose bumps! After her husband went to work, she snored again, as if her husband had come. How embarrassing!
Can't make a living. The children sleep next to each other and the mother-in-law sleeps on the other side. We don't have our own private space.
Finally, we left there, so let's not mention those embarrassing things!
When I first went to work, the movie theater showed (Shaolin Temple), which was really crowded. After watching the exhibition for many days, it is still full. It was easy to get off work, so I followed suit and called my girlfriend to the cinema. Queue up at six o'clock in the morning to buy tickets, and wait until after nine o'clock to enter. The first time I watched a wide-screen color movie, I felt very much. Just staring at the screen for fear of missing something. Throw your girlfriend aside suddenly and don't say a word to her. It was not until the end of the play appeared on the screen that I reluctantly took off my eyes and looked at my girlfriend next to me, which was also wanting more. Those who leave the party go out and the next one goes in. This is called chaos. I clung to my girlfriend's arm for fear that she would get lost. They stumbled and finally walked out of the cinema.
Looking around, the ocean of bicycles. The two of us are looking for * * * to ride a _ _ Daikin Deer bike. People rode away one by one, and we finally found a seat to ride. The cart was about to leave, and someone said what are you doing in my car! I said, how did my car become yours? And locked the car for others to see. The man said: forget it! I grabbed my bike and unlocked it without a key. Only then did I find that the lock was broken. Looking around carefully, there is another bicycle similar to this one, parked nearby, and gently opened it with the key. So this is my bike! I want to know how two bicycles look the same!
Alas! Fortunately, my girlfriend is around, otherwise it would be really embarrassing. People want to treat me like a thief, I'm not sure!
I saw my mother taking a bath. It's hard to say, but I said it anyway.
It is said that my wife's due date should have arrived three years ago. We packed our bags and went thousands of kilometers south to our son's city.
Now is the season when it is freezing in the north and the snow is flying all over the sky, but here are green trees and flowers in full bloom. My mother has been taking care of her two-year-old granddaughter here for two months. It was originally planned that they would go home as soon as we arrived, but because the little granddaughter didn't catch a cold well, she left a few days late, so she crossed paths with us for a few days. It is these days that such embarrassing and difficult things have happened.
It's all because my son's bathroom was broken into. I can't remember whether to wash my hands in the bathroom or to relieve myself. Anyway, as soon as I pressed the doorknob, the door opened. At first glance, glistening, just her back. She is taking a bath with her back to the door.
Someone! Hearing someone open the door, she shouted at once. As soon as I saw it, my mother was taking a bath. I quickly went out and looked back at my son. I scolded, "Why don't you close the door when you take a shower?" The son smiled and said nothing.
Later, I learned that the door lock of the bathroom was broken. After locking it from the inside, I couldn't open it by pressing the door handle inside, thinking it was locked, but we couldn't open it from the outside! Guess my mother was cheated by this broken door lock, too? I think I'm closed, but I'm not in charge Hehe, it's a good thing she has her back to the door. Maybe she doesn't know I opened the door. Maybe she thinks we're all so old, that's okay. Although I feel embarrassed, I don't see anything strange about her! Fortunately, they returned to their hometown a few days later.
I haven't even told my wife about this except my son and me, but now all my friends don't know, do they?
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