What are the reasons for husband and wife's past and present lives?

Why do we meet, fall in love and get married? Why do we still stay together without feelings? Why do husband and wife torture each other? Why do the lovers separate and the torturers stay together for a long time? These questions have been asked countless times, and there are various reasons to explain them with worldly law, which can be solved with one sentence of Buddhism-karma! It takes ten years to cross the boat, and it takes a hundred years to sleep on the pillow. Two people can become husband and wife, in addition to love, but also need fate. Searching in the world, how can you meet each other? Is it in the dark, the marriage has long been doomed? Why, however, after marriage, some are sweet and happy, some live together just to torment each other, some love each other very much, but one party dies young and can't be together, some love each other deeply but can't get the other party's response, some love each other but can't get rid of the present marriage, and finally even kill people. Some love each other and still have the same faith, and * * * has taken a lifetime? These problems are mysteries in many people's minds. This article will discuss these problems for your reference. As for' how to manage love?' How to resolve disputes with each other?' How can you practice * * * and have a successful life and practice?' It is beyond the scope of this article, and will be discussed in the next article. (These need to be discussed with everyone, providing experience and guidance of good knowledge). This paper discusses the nature of love in turn, then discusses the types of husband-wife relationship, and explains the characteristics of each type. Finally, it is about the attitude that laymen suggest when they study Buddhism in the face of various karma. Love is essentially a combination of willingness and karma. Many people in the world have praised and admired love since ancient times, and they hope that love can make lovers finally get married. Romantic and beautiful love stories earn many people's tears, such as China butterfly lovers, Romeo and Juliet in the west, and so on. But what point of view does Buddhism explain it? From the Buddhist point of view, love is essentially a combination of' willingness' and' karma'. The so-called' willingness' is a proactive force, which comes from the inner' will'; The so-called' karma' is a passive and involuntary force, and it also comes from the heart, but it is' unwilling'. The two forces will promote the occurrence of love. Of course, there are various reasons in the world, such as gentleness, thoughtfulness, beauty and generosity, understanding, rich family, etc. As far as "willingness" is concerned, if a couple is very loving and wants to continue to be husband and wife in the next life, they make a wish before the Buddha, hoping to be husband and wife again in the next life, and even to be husband and wife forever. This kind of willingness will happen when the time is right in the future (no matter what people become). Or men and women lovers who love each other so much in this life that they have no chance to be husband and wife in this life because of war or family opposition. The two make a mutual agreement and hope to become husband and wife again in the next life. Because both of them care about this agreement, they meet again in reincarnation, and they will have a sense of deja vu, and even decide to spend their lives soon. In another case, because of the kindness of the other party, there is no return, such as being saved from illness, or helping to repay debts, or saving parents' close relatives, so I am willing to be a cow and a horse in the afterlife in return. Therefore, because of the desire to be grateful, I may become a wife in the afterlife, willingly and without complaint. This kind of' willingness' will still happen after many generations. As far as' karma' is concerned, if a person owes a huge debt, he can't repay it, although he hasn't paid off the debt until his death in this life (some people deliberately refuse to pay it back), and then there is a force that will work in the future. In the case of becoming husband and wife, the husband (wife) has a kind of helplessness. Why does the wife (husband) always torture him? There's nothing he can do, but swallow the pain and bear such pressure, and the two become bitter couples. And if in the past, he was originally a husband and wife, and his husband abandoned his wife (for example, making a new love, or maliciously abandoning him, or becoming a monk in seclusion), which caused his wife's resentment, so he might be abandoned by the other half (or tortured to settle debts) in this life. This kind of' karma' will still happen no matter how far away the world is, how time and space change, no matter what it becomes. Because of the interaction between will and karma, the differences in habits, family, education and ideas between them, and the involvement of others, there are different forms between men and women, which also constitute the love between men and women in the world. Next, I will discuss the types of husband-wife relationship and provide my personal views for reference. Types of relationship between husband and wife The types of relationship between husband and wife can be roughly divided into five categories: First, the loving type: Although the two people get along for different reasons, they have forged a good relationship because of the past, and they are very loving and difficult to separate. Second, the type of resentment: the past has forged a bad relationship, and the two get along, or they are cold, or they quarrel, or they oppress and hurt, or even kill each other. Third, the bird's nest type: the relationship between the two is simple, the feelings are dull and unstable, and they may be separated at any time. 4. Smooth type: In addition to feelings, the relationship between the two people is usually guaranteed by other factors, such as career, family and life background, so it is smooth. V * * * Cultivation: Apart from good feelings, there are also religious and spiritual reasons for their relationship. The truth of these types of causal karma: 1. Love type (1) Love type between men and women: Both men and women are deeply involved in lust, which is more than lust. Both sides believe that to show love, there is only physical contact with honey. Modern people are more and more open to the concept of love. As long as I like it, why not? Love based on' lust' is easy to happen. These men and women owe their own debts in the past, and they have been divorced from evil ways for a long time, so they have deep habits. (2) Respect each other as guests: they are steady and harmonious. Because the two sides are mature and steady, they can consider each other and are not self-centered, so there are fewer disputes when they get along. This is love based on' maturity'. These men and women have a good fate in the past, taking care of and caring for each other. (3) Sweet as glue: they are as sweet as glue, but they are more dependent on each other in personality and lack independence. Feelings are interdependent. This is love based on' interdependence'. This kind of family members, such as father, son, mother and daughter, who have deep feelings in the past, meet in this life. Because of the deep affection in the past, they are still so strongly interdependent and possess each other in this life. (4) Fathers are like women: there is a big gap between men and women in age. Men are older, reliable and steady, while women are younger, dependent on coquetry, and get along like father and daughter. For example, husbands in their fifties and sixties and wives in their twenties and thirties get along quite happily, which is love based on' care'. (5) fly with me type: Because of the same personality and ideal, they can also cooperate with each other, just like fly with me, who knows each other and cherishes each other and works for the ideal goal. Although there are setbacks, we can work together, so this is love based on' ideal'. (6) appreciate each other type: Both men and women may be equally down and out, or they are ambitious and unable to display their talents, or they are all from poor backgrounds, so they understand each other. appreciate each other, hand in hand with each other and work together. This is love based on' mutual understanding'. (7) ocean deep type: We have been friends for many years, but we have deep feelings. After years of experience, we cherish this friendship with each other, so we love each other from love. On the basis of deep friendship, this love can stand the test of time. Honey-loving love generally comes from the good karma that has been formed in the past (whether in the past or in this life), leaving a good feeling, whether it is kindness, love, affection or friendship, leaving a good memory in each other's consciousness or subconscious. From this point of view, a Buddhist should still be kind to each other, pay for each other, care about each other, and leave a good impression. No matter in this life or in the afterlife, at least when they get along or meet again, each other can return kindness and get along with each other in a good attitude. This is also a' good cycle'. Don't envy others' love, all this is just a' good dream'! Second, the type of resentment (a) hatred is as deep as the sea: there is great hatred between each other. In the interaction between the two sides, dissatisfaction, hatred, and anger gradually emerged until' enemies meet and are particularly jealous', as if they had married hatred for more than a decade. Maybe they were really enemies in the past life, which is impressive, because some karma has married the two in this life, but once the sweetness is over, the past grievances will emerge from the subconscious. (2) Debt collection: it is not a pity that one party consumes the blessings of the other party. It is common for a husband to work hard, but his wife to spend a lot; Or the wife is thrifty, but the husband gambles away all his money; Or the wife takes good care of her husband, but lets the husband who is idle at home abuse and abuse, and dare not say anything. Perhaps the same scene existed in the past, but the roles were reversed. Now that time and space have changed, what is owed should always be returned. (3) Death-seeking type: one side murdered the other side, but there was no great enmity, perhaps just for a trivial matter, and then the other side was killed by the wrong hand. Husband and wife may have accumulated a lot of frustrations and resentments, but they generally don't kill their husbands or wives. However, if there is a cause and effect of killing each other (not necessarily husband and wife, but also animals such as cats and dogs) in the past, and they become husband and wife in this life, it is very likely that there will be a situation of' begging for life', and the consequences will happen consciously or unconsciously. If you have killed each other, even if you go to the ends of the earth, you will still meet, and the results will not run away. (4) Quarrel type: often quarreling about minor issues, and quarreling as a bee. Maybe they have different opinions, different habits, or love quarreling (some even regard quarreling as a sport). Anyway, it is common to have a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every five days. Open the social news, and examples can be seen everywhere. Fighting, throwing sulfuric acid, leaving home and jumping off a building because of quarrels are also problems in modern society. If there is a quarrel, we must treat each other with compassion, and the atmosphere of the quarrel will be reduced. If we take quarrels for granted, it will destroy the harmony of life (anger will fly, and people's emotional state will be difficult to keep calm). (5) Abandonment type: one party abandons the other regardless of the life or death of the other party. If the husband abandons his wife and children and goes to other places, or if the man has a new love and abandons his old love. This kind of abandonment will cause the other party to hold a deep grudge, and this hatred will lead to "revenge" in the future time and space (especially the so-called "revenge" behavior (especially the so-called "malicious abandonment"). The party who abandons others will leave a memory of' debt'. For being retaliated, it is virtually regarded as a fate and can only be helpless. If you abandon your wife and daughter and become a monk, because of the termination of the original karma between husband and wife, even if you practice successfully in this life, you still have to be reincarnated and get married again. Only when the fate is complete can there be no reincarnation, which is the principle of' cause and effect are not ambiguous'. (6) Respect each other like ice: the attitude of both sides is cold, and they no longer think about each other, but they don't tear their faces. Although they live under the same roof, they don't look the same, and they are separated from each other. They simply live their own lives and don't care about each other. Usually it's because our fate (or good fortune) is running out, so we don't feel anything. In name only, all that remains is the name of the marriage contract. If there are different objects at this time, it means that the old karma is over and another karma is started (even if there is no divorce, the old karma is equal to the end). (7) indomitable type: the two sides compare their academic qualifications, earn money, have high and low family background, high status and strong ability, and do not admit defeat to each other (in practice, they still compare the realm and magical power). Under the action of competitiveness, life is like war, and I don't admit defeat at all for the sake of face. Some celestial beings and Asura also have this habit, so when they were transferred to the world, they performed well in all aspects, but they just "refused to admit defeat" and followed the previous habit. (8) Eccentric type: one party is eccentric and difficult to get along with, and the other party has to submit to humiliation. For example, Mr. Wang is a lonely, cynical and incomparable hero, but he is ambitious and has achieved nothing after all. As a wife, he is helpless and speechless; Or the wife is convinced that fortune-telling is usually an eccentric party who doesn't know that he is' eccentric', but thinks he is self-righteous and blames others. Exploring the reasons, on the one hand, is' lack of compassion', on the other hand, it is caused by' stupid career'. Lack of compassion, so you can't be kind to each other; Because he is crazy about his career, he is self-righteous and eccentric and doesn't know it. (9) away from home: husband or wife often want to leave home in order to get rid of the shackles of the family. Maybe there is no affair or ideal, but the family is under great pressure and bound, and there is not enough courage to face the pressure and bound, so I often leave home, linger outside, maybe go to a friend's house, maybe drink, maybe stay in the company to work overtime, and don't go home on an excuse. This is also a type that has no courage to take responsibility. Such people have made others feel depressed and bored in the past, so they have to bear it in this life. (1) Abusive type: persecuting the other party by cruel and vicious means, such as rough, beating, flogging, being locked in a secret room, etc. This kind of abuse is a torment to the abused, both physically and mentally. This kind of pain will be deeply recorded in the consciousness and subconscious. In the future, there will always be opportunities for revenge, and the other party will be tortured to death. It is impossible to survive without dying. This cruel mentality of the other party is due to the great grievances in the past, which will continue to cause extremely heavy bad karma in this life, and it is easy to cause hell seeds in the heart of the eight senses. This kind of love between husband and wife can also be called' love in hell'. There are many resentments in the world, and the above is just a rough list. These reasons caused both sides to feel helpless, resentful and unable to solve it, and finally resorted to the law and asked for a divorce. At the same time, the two sides have forged a bad relationship, and in the future life, things may repeat themselves, but the roles are exchanged, and all beings will perform this helpless tragedy again and again in the cycle of life and death. This is the' evil return'. Is there a day when the helpless tragedy will end? Many people think that they can get rid of this nightmare of reincarnation by learning Buddhism or escaping into an empty door. This statement is correct on the surface, but even the most brilliant yogi has to pay off the old bad debts. This is the law of cause and effect in the legal world, and no one is exempt from it in the legal world. On the negative side, it is repentance, on the positive side, it is sincere to ask Buddha and Bodhisattva to help disciples face it (not all Buddha and Bodhisattva will be returned, many Buddhist learners will misunderstand and blame Buddha and Bodhisattva for not caring for their blessings). The details vary from person to person, and it is necessary to consult good knowledge to solve it. Life is dozens of years, why should we have a bad relationship? If we can treat each other with the most positive attitude, be kind to each other, be merciful to each other, and endure humiliation, even if there is a big evil relationship, it will eventually be resolved and then become a good relationship. Don't be self-righteous, but also want to be served by the other party. If you don't know it, you will have to suffer the consequences in the future. Perhaps this is alarmist, but the legal world has its own law of cause and effect, and it is not for you and me to deny it at will. 3. Bird's Nest Bird's Nest means a simple but unstable relationship, just like a bird's nest. The relationship between the two people is only temporary, or weak, and there is the possibility of separation at any time. This means that although they are predestined, they are not practical and deep. (1) The same fate: both sides have no achievements and no social status, and they are ignored by society, living in a dark corner, suffering from the same illness, and they are in a precarious situation. For example, fleeing couples or illegal immigrants may not know what tomorrow will bring. Since ancient times, after the war, many couples have fallen into this fate. (2) Dew-like mandarin ducks: The karma is not deep, just like dew-like mandarin ducks. Today they are destined to meet, but tomorrow they will go their separate ways. This kind of love is mostly due to the fact that the man was born in the past and once saved the woman's life. Therefore, the woman fell in love with the man in this life and had a night's fate, and she unconsciously saved her life. In the past, the so-called' saving lives', in terms of Buddhism causality, there will be various ways to repay this saving life (and