What humorous circle of friends are there?

1, it's over, you ignore me, too. I've become a dog.

It's not that I stay up late, but that I'm needed as a bright star in the dark.

3. Be sure to use the right ear when listening to the results, because the left ear is close to the heart and may die suddenly.

Some people will eat hard when they are unhappy. Unlike me, I eat hard when I'm unhappy.

5, getting up early can really do a lot of things, such as ... sleeping again ~

There are only two things I can't do in my life, that is, this can't be done and that can't be done.

7. What is wrong with being fat? Have you eaten your sweet and sour pork ribs, braised beef, vinegar, cabbage, Mapo tofu and boiled fish?

8. Love is complementary. When I think my boyfriend is bad because I am too good, I am not so angry.

9. I want to count the stars with you at the seaside and steal your wallet while you are asleep.

10, when I got up the courage to make a call, my mobile phone ran out of money.

1 1, it's him! It's him! That's him, young hero, little scum.

12, Coach: Let another coach teach you. He is old and not afraid of you. I am still young! Student: Me. ...

13, you are irreplaceable, and no one is as ugly as you.

14. If you want to know something from me, seduce me, I will accept it.

15, in fact, rich people are very low-key. For example, I ride a bike every day, and no one knows that I have an electric car at home.