"Dialogue" with Cai Lam: A firm self is the prerequisite for all answers

There are always knots in life that are difficult to untie and glass windows that cannot be seen through. Friends who do not want to trouble their lives are easy to get into trouble alone.

There is always a way that allows you to "chat with wise men" without the panic of meeting people. The arrival of the Internet has solved this problem for some people.

So, Cai Lam is here.

People will appreciate the life experience and transparent view of the world of an old man with rich knowledge and experience, and are eager to chat with him. Cai Lam is such an old man. Every year A single answer to a question, a sentence or two of answers, and a lot of effort can solve many people's confusions.

If a person is always cheated, is she too stupid or too kind? Does this person need to learn to be "bad"?

No need to.

The difficulties assigned to each person are different. It is impossible to have smooth sailing. What kind of mentality should be used to face the problems encountered? This matter is classified as The definition of big or small.

First of all, it must be clear that overcoming this difficulty is something that must be done.

The mentality is to gradually find your own rhythm in each experience.

This is also the reason why one person is different from others.

Keep the bottom line, the place where the blood flowed will become her hardest place after healing.

"You gaze into the abyss, and the abyss will gaze at you.

If you look away, the abyss can only gaze at you from a distance. It will not move away and cannot catch up. You."

How to face every choice you make calmly without worrying about it.

Decision, no regrets.

If you regret your decision, you will bear the consequences of regret, whether it takes more time, more energy, or more internal consumption.

It also tells you to think twice before making a decision and not to think after making a decision.

Once you have decided, you must be responsible for your own choices. If you don’t want to be responsible, don’t think about it.

Don't waste time on one thing and miss better scenery, don't think about it.

So the teacher said, make a decision without regrets. Regrets are of no use except adding trouble.

If we talk about the two sides of a thing, then it does have an advantage. It gives you an experience that you will not repeat again. Any painful memories that are too painful are generally chosen. Forget or avoid.

If it is not very painful, going through it will also gain experience, but it is still more painful than not regretting it.

Cai Kangyong said when explaining Xu Jiru:

"There are so many circles in life. We do not go around every circle. We can live Our age is also limited, so the effort and time we spent to go around this circle, as well as the effort spent on getting that injury and then repairing that injury, were all things we could have made other choices.”

Sir, there is a boy who is super nice to me but I don’t like him. Should I be with him?

Better than the opposite.

We will not hesitate about the people and things we like, and we will think twice about choosing ourselves.

If you really like something, you don’t need to think about it. You have already made a decision when you like it.

But even if there are some things that are "tasteless to eat and a pity to throw away", people are afraid of regretting it if they give it up, and it is indeed not what they like if they don't give it up.

This is similar to abandonment.

Some people can break it off at once, so some people can't break it off over and over again.

Form is an external object. To change the form, you must have the idea of ????changing in your heart. To give up is to "wean" those unnecessary things. Weaning away has no nutrition, but Drink optional milk.

Those are milk that I don’t really like, that I absolutely need in life, or that I can drink or not drink.

When you know that other things can satisfy your own nutrition and make you full, you don’t need those dispensable things.

The same goes for people. If you know what you want and know that you have the strength to get what you want, you won’t waste time getting it and you won’t be so happy. It's done.

Sir, how can I focus on my studies when there are many external distractions?

Take a good nap.

The most complex things can often be solved with the simplest methods.

Anxious to do; uncomfortable to cry; tired to sleep; like to love; painful to get busy.

Our hearts are filled with too many things, and we forget that life is survival and living. Those things that prevent us from focusing are just the branches of a big tree. , only by cutting off the irrelevant can the important be developed.

What will not be disturbed at all is sleeping. You can't do anything else while asleep.

Concentration is like sleeping. Once you concentrate, you can’t think about anything else.

Sir, I’m sorry to bother you! What is the most important thing to become a great baker?

Keep baking.

Geniuses also need constant practice. Wang Yibo will be appreciated by his seniors every time he enters a field. First, he is dedicated, and second, he knows that if you want to achieve something, you need to put in a lot of effort behind the scenes. effort.

Zhang Yixing is favored by so many people, and it has a lot to do with his ability to work ten points and never use nine points of effort. "Work hard, work hard" is not just talk.

While being attracted by Wang Jiaer’s softness and cleverness, it is also difficult to ignore his hard work and self-discipline. As long as a person finds the right direction, hard work and self-discipline are the same. , which is also the effect of getting twice the result with half the effort.

"One minute on stage, ten years off stage" applies to every situation. There is no gain for nothing, only continuous hard work.

Life is so hard, why should people live and suffer?

Wait for the candy.

Sugar is not always available, but it is also because it comes from time to time that I look forward to it.

Surprises are all inadvertently. Although there are many bitternesses, the sweetness is also very sweet. It doesn’t take much, just one can sweeten your heart.

"Life is like looking for sugar among a pile of broken glass."

Sir OK, how do girls aged 176 find boyfriends in the South?

Being a model is available all over the world.

When you reach a height, you have to go to the platform that matches the height.

Everyone has his or her own world, and the superiority of one's own strength is the choice of one world.

When you find the right place and what you want, that is "if you bloom, butterflies will come."

Sir, how can I decide the direction when I can’t hear the voice of my heart?

Choose one to proceed.

No matter which way you go, it may be right or wrong.

Life is a process of constant trial and error, but some people make the right mistakes, and some people correct them.

It’s good not to do it, but you still can’t hear your inner voice.

How do you know you have met love, because your heart beats too fast.

Gotta get out first.

Sir, I have been under too much pressure recently. I always like to think wildly, obsessively and entangled. I go around and around and can’t figure it out. I don’t know how to survive.

People with random thoughts are hopeless.

If you can suppress your random thoughts, you can at least accomplish one thing at that time.

People should have hobbies and pursuits. Hobbies are part of daily life. If you have nothing to do, you like to do it, which fills up your free time.

Pursuit is the belief in overcoming laziness, random thoughts, and the bad nature of human nature. With this involvement, it is tiring but spiritually satisfying.

Mr. Yang Jiang once replied to a letter from a reader and said: Your problem is mainly that you don’t read much and think too much.

If people are trapped in emotions and are led by their emotions, they will become a mess and end up having to solve more things.

The gentleman answered more than that, but just by looking at his answers, you can get some insights.

Emotions will not take precedence over behavior. Solve problems when you encounter them. Think forward and reverse thinking together, be rational and agile, simple and straightforward.

Some people say that if you cannot decide something, just toss a coin. The moment you throw it, you will know what you want to choose.

People have a certain degree of control and judgment over their own lives, and sometimes they need to make a point and get a definite answer from others.

No matter what happens, it is a process of looking inward, and the decision is the choice of whether you dare to bear the consequences of your choice.

Although it is unfortunate, the fact is that even if you don't choose, it is still a choice.

What my husband’s answer tells me is that no matter what, there are consequences. It is better to choose what you want to choose and bear what you are willing to bear. At the very least, your life will be happy.