Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Tell me about funny qq.
Tell me about funny qq.
3. Those who destroy will not be destroyed, and those who destroy will not be destroyed.
4, not afraid of being used, I am afraid that you are useless.
5. Let others smell your fart!
6. Actually, I'm not fat, but I'm too lazy to be thin.
7. Bad guys need strength, and scum needs taste more.
8. Once friendship is serious, it is more unforgettable than love.
9. I am not tall, because I have acrophobia!
10, deceiving yourself and fulfilling him is not great at all.
1 1, the poor play with cars, the rich play with watches, and the cows work overtime to knock on the computer.
12, the world is the best, and the human feelings are warm and cold.
13, come here, I have a relationship and want to talk to you.
14, it's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.
15, the road is rough, and you will yell all your life. That's it. Go on!
16, spring is coming, please control your feelings.
17, how can you be so calm when you have a crush on me!
18, intelligence test is to see how stupid you are.
19, I'm just playing fat, not as ugly as you!
Life is too short to laugh while you still have teeth.
2 1, the night before the start of school, the electricity consumption in China will increase linearly.
22, the season of black silk flooding, let us have these thick legs?
Even if you are a piece of shit, you will meet dung beetles one day.
24. I envy you for knowing me at a young age.
25. Be a woman in the next life and marry a man like me.
26. Why are so many teachers willful in their homework? We accept our fate.
27. Equality between men and women is only verbal. No, you can try it in the ladies' room.
28. I will use my monthly exam results to prove how happy I am on National Day.
29. Turning your face is faster than turning pages. I also understand that the pain is that you don't turn it over.
I don't know what the teacher said there, but it seems very powerful.
3 1, looking at the face of the head teacher made Russia have the urge to drop out of school. What about studying?
32. The lady is an unexplored Bikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.
When you came to me, I was so excited that I could finish the whole set of broadcast gymnastics.
34. Next semester, I hope the teacher will make my homework unknown, and my homework will not know me.
As long as a woman is strong once, men will expect her to be strong all the time.
36. I'm not stupid, just a little stupid; I am not lazy, but I don't like to move; That's all.
37. The road is long, and I will walk with you, without complaining or frowning.
38. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?
39, deskmate, you are so happy, you have one, so so good, deskmate.
40. One day, 10,000 yuan fell from the sky and knocked me out. When I woke up, I gave the money to someone else!
4 1. On that day, I put on my wedding dress and you put on your suit. What do I realize about satisfaction?
42. Do you know who is the most powerful anti-Japanese hero in history? Correct answer: period!
Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.
No one can take your place in my heart, because you have no place in my heart at all.
45. I never believe that I can make a wish when I see a meteor. I just want to collect dragon balls in a down-to-earth way.
46. There are always some girls who are men in front of girls and girls in front of men.
47. Life is like playing with angry birds. If you can't pass the customs, you will inevitably be laughed at by the pig head.
48. Come here. There are three words hidden in my heart for a long time. Can you get out!
49. Every time I tell you a lot, you only answer yes. Have you been taking a shit?
50. I tried to give up perfectly, and I was really practical. You left, I left, and you and I separated.
5 1, I am a very principled person. In the final analysis, my principle of being a man is only three words, depending on my mood.
52. Will you think of me after a long time and ask yourself why you didn't cherish me at the beginning?
53. If I want to pick up girls wholeheartedly and each person pulls out a pubic hair as a souvenir, I guess I can knit a sweater!
54. I'm so afraid of being blown into others' arms by the typhoon. After all, people like me will definitely not quit.
55. Yesterday someone said I was ugly, so I cried on the spot. I am very sad and distressed, and I became blind at a young age.
56. I go to the province three times a day: where did I put the key? Where did I put my phone? Where did I put my meal card?
57. How does the computer say you are stupid in Chinese? The computer doesn't even know who is stupid.
58. I have fallen. I can't swim until now. You know, before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer.
59. I didn't feel my existence until I met you, and I couldn't bear to leave you, even though you said so firmly.
When I left the subway station this morning, the escalator broke down. I was stuck up there for over an hour, so I was late. .
6 1, I gradually found that people are goblins. Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If they catch a leprechaun, they may have a barbecue.
62. Teachers always preach books for so long, books that students haven't read, and books that teachers haven't read after studying for so long.
63. Listening to music with headphones today found that there was no sound on the left. After careful examination, I found that my left ear was deaf. I thought the earphone was broken, which scared me to death.
64. The most romantic story has no ending, and the happiest love has no words, only mutual inner harmony. My love, everything is in silence!
65. Tomorrow is the last day of National Day. Everyone will see the National Day finale, staged by the majority of student dogs: copying seven days of homework in one day.
66. In winter, many girls wear down jackets and leggings, which perfectly explains the profound connotation that fresh milk should be kept warm and ham should be refrigerated.
67. He laughed from the horizontal knife. In fact, he peed his pants, sweated his hands and shivered in his heart. He has a backache and cramps in his legs. He smiled because the knife had no blade.
Honey, I bought you an apple. Oh, honey, I love you so much. Look at those bitches still showing off their millet in front of me. It just sucks.
69. I went to eat noodles the other day and saw peppers under the front table. There happened to be a tin of iron next to me. I didn't look at it, but it fell. I poured a bowl of toothpicks!
70. I eat chocolate while walking. Suddenly a Xiong Haizi upstairs threw cold water on me. I was angry and asked him why he threw it at me. He said that rainy days and chocolate are more suitable.
7 1, met, I can't help but believe that this is fate. I didn't know this until I dreamed. Unable to resist, I don't want eternal beauty, I just want to have you and me in the next life.
72. What part of me do you think is the most beautiful? Man: Your hair is the most beautiful. W: Why? In fact, many people have praised it like this. Because it covers most of your face.
73. Many girls you think can't catch up with are actually not chased at all. Many boys you don't like actually have girlfriends. Many boys you like actually have boyfriends.
74. Chinese is amazing. For example, if you say the same word, it will be considered perfunctory. Saying oh oh is a very positive response. Saying "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh" will be considered bed-calling.
75. I am a boat full of love for you. After the storm, I swam across the dangerous beach and rowed desperately to you. You will always be my anchorage, and you will always be my shelter.
76. I really want to invite you to dinner, but there is no water supply during the day and no electricity at night, so I can't afford to pay and buy white flour. I turned to Allen for help to find the answer: it turned out to be the primary stage of SHZY, and turned back: damn it, it will remain unchanged for a hundred years! Can I invite you to dinner?
77. I remember when I was in middle school, in the mid-term exam, the class teacher came into the classroom with a paper and said the first sentence. I dare not bring a lighter now. Do you know why? Everyone froze, and as a result, he said, I'm afraid I set you all on fire!
78. I met a girl in the game. I took her to upgrade, bought her equipment, bought her a good horse, washed her panda and bought her white hair. But in the end, I found out that he was actually a man, but I didn't suffer. I fucked him anyway!
79, go to the Internet cafe LOL, there are many primary school students next to it, and suddenly someone calls the police, check the ID card! I was nervous and wanted to run. I just woke up and found myself an adult. What a fart! I'm used to playing LOL, and I almost thought I was a primary school student!
Tell me about it.
1, hate me, never mind, I don't live to please you.
Everything in this world can be fake, but the only thing I can't stand is that the money in my hand is fake.
The night before school starts, the electricity consumption of the whole country will go up linearly.
I only know when I see through everything. Actually, losing is more practical than having.
If I don't love you, how can I hurt you so thoroughly?
6. Apologizing doesn't always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. Sometimes it just means that you value your feelings more than yourself.
7. The highest level of being a handsome guy is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.
8. When you are proud, your friends know you; When you are in trouble, you make friends.
9. I only talk about love three times in my life, once I am ignorant, once I work hard, once in my life.
10, there is no secret to success, if there is, there are only two: the first is to stick to the end and never give up; The second is when you want to give up, please go back and follow the first secret.
1 1, can you lead me from my wife to the old woman?
12, if being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime.
13, I heard that you are not doing well. I sat at the door and had a good day.
14, when I love you, what you say is what you say. When I don't love you, what do you say you are?
15, life is really interesting, birth and death.
16, you have the right to abandon me, and I have the strength to make you regret it.
17, youth is like dandelion, which seems pleasant, but it can't help itself.
18 when it thunders, stand under the big tree and say to God, I want to pass it, too.
19, mushroom coolie, pull out the domineering style that women should have! Men pull, we still dump!
I don't have much warmth. I leave everything to the people who are good to me.
2 1, the fiercest quarrel is only one minute, and what you said in that minute can't be made up for in a hundred minutes.
22. Don't say that the wolf hasn't eaten mutton for five years. Cats and mice haven't eaten mice since 1940.
23. Love is a knockoff these days!
24. A true friend never investigates your mistakes and never envies your success.
Obviously, only one of you has been deleted, but the whole list is empty.
26. Don't get sick, don't be short of money, don't be wicked if you lack anything, don't be ashamed if you lose anything, and don't miss anything wrong.
27. I cried a hundred times just to make you pity me once.
28. People who can't find time to sleep will find time to get sick sooner or later, and people who can't find time to fall in love will find time to date sooner or later.
29. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it killed all the students.
30. Is the child born to two people with type B blood type 2B?
3 1, what's the point of grouping without contact? It is better to blacken.
32. A good friend won't let you do stupid things alone. They will always be with you.
It's not that I don't want to be a lady, it's that life has turned my mother into a bitch.
Give me a bed so that I can sleep till the end of the world.
35. Teacher, I have been saving my homework all summer, and I feel something. Aren't we going to pay?
You can't tolerate me, not because your mind is too narrow, but because my personality is too great.
37. I envy Kotaro. He doesn't love his country, but he has the undying love of the wolf.
38, as a child, why do you see everything so thoroughly?
39. I am a woman made of iron, and I am not afraid of all kinds of injuries.
I want to be your heart in my next life. At least if I don't jump, you will die.
4 1. When will you know that my signature is actually about you?
42. I wonder whose name I will hysterically call out when I am drunk.
43. I still love you, but I lack persistence in being together.
44. I am finally indifferent to your bright head.
45. Asking what the world is like will only make people die unsatisfied.
Being single doesn't mean being vulnerable, but that you are strong enough to wait for the person you deserve.
47. When you point your finger at others, don't forget that there are still three fingers pointing at yourself.
48. Ask others less why and ask yourself more why.
49. If a boy doesn't have more than six abdominal muscles, why should he laugh at other girls for their poor figure?
50. Women think that men are playboy without charm, and men think that women are reality without strength.
5 1, if it doesn't belong to you, why care?
52. Life is to smile at others and make them smile by the way.
53. Sometimes the people who know you best are not your friends, but your enemies.
54. Why doesn't the country take your face to study imitation bulletproof vests?
I fell in love with you, not because you gave me what I needed, but because you gave me a feeling I had never felt before.
56. One day, love met friendship and asked it, "What's your use?" Friendship replied, "Wipe away the tears you shed."
57. There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friends list like dead people, occasionally faking corpses and changing epitaphs from time to time.
58. Some scars are scratched on the hands, and after healing, they become a thing of the past. Some scars are scratched in my heart, even if they are scratched gently, they will remain in my heart.
59. Don't cut others easily, because others are busy, but it is yourself who suffers.
60, patroness, please don't wander in front of the poor monk, otherwise the Buddha will not let you go.
6 1, Yue Lao, can you stop holding my hand with inferior red lines? It will break every three to five days.
62, good friends don't need too many, two is enough. One will lend you money and the other will attend your funeral.
63. Loving someone is when you suddenly don't know what to say when you dial the phone, just want to hear the familiar voice.
64. Looking at the past chat records, I smiled, smiled and cried.
65. What is the truth of telling a joke for a lifetime?
66. I refused everyone's favor and waited for an uncertain future.
67. There is a man who likes me without makeup. He was distressed when I lost weight, and he was happy when I gained weight. Ask me if I can spend enough money. That's my dad, just my dad!
One day I will proudly say to you: Go away, I don't need you.
Xiansen, from now on, you are Russian.
70. It is better to be a child. One candy is enough to forget everything.
7 1, time tells me that the era of unreasonable troubles is over and it's time to be sensible.
72. You are my dream of being swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and I am your dispensable person.
73, don't say, don't listen, don't look, doesn't mean you really don't care!
74. When I was a child, the watch I drew on my hand did not move, but it took away our best time.
75. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.
76. Happiness is around, and contentment is heaven.
77. In China, the difference between people is often greater than that between people and pigs.
78. Gradually, gradually, some people become cheap.
79. Still 10086. It is good for me. I sent him a short message and he replied to me three times.
80. They said the Internet was fake, and I laughed as if the reality was true.
8 1, people have to really love someone all their lives, but once they fall in love, the first step is to lose themselves, and the second step is to lose your love.
82. Don't call me bad. I am more stupid than any of you.
83. Trust is like a piece of paper. It is wrinkled. Even if it is smooth, it cannot be restored.
84. A man either keeps her innocent or promises her the future.
85. It is a kind of self-confidence to smile calmly when you are despised.
86. The most direct way to ruin a song is to set it as an alarm clock.
Recommend funny quotations.
1: When riding a motorcycle, a person likes to wear his clothes backwards, that is, buckle his mouth behind him to keep out the wind. 2. One day, he drunk driving, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. Here comes the policeman: Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.
3: Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head on the back. Policeman A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.
Policeman B: OK ... 1, 2 push, 1, 2 push, turn around. Policeman A: Huh? I'm not breathing.
5: Banana caught a cold and went to see a doctor; The doctor said: take off your clothes! Bananas tear off clothes;
6. The doctor got angry after reading it: what cold; You obviously have a curved spine; Go and buy a good one.
7: When he went to WC, the toilet seat wouldn't open, so he took a shit on the toilet seat.
8: I suddenly found a button on the wall and pressed it. Unexpectedly, the lid suddenly bounced off and the poop bounced to the ceiling.
Sorry, he asked the waiter to point to the ceiling and said, I'll give you 200 yuan to help me clean this up.
10: The waiter looked at the ceiling and said to him, I'll give you 800 yuan. Tell me how you shit on the ceiling.
1 1: African black girls travel to Shanghai and stay in hotels. Fire in the middle of the night. The African woman ran out quickly.
12: the latest funny log of motherland Xiaohua recommended: it's so funny, it's too bad to read QQ log.
13: a fireman was surprised and said, oh, my god, it's burning. It's running so fast.
The nurse is changing the medicine bottle for the patient. When the nurse saw that the patient was dying, she asked the patient what was wrong.
15: But the patient was too painful to speak, and the nurse took out a pen and paper to signal him to write.
16: but he died when he finished writing! The nurse took the note and saw that it said: You stepped on my oxygen tube.
17: There is such a bright line at the foot of my bed. Hey, there is a bottle of hand cream on the ground.
18: the crowd looked for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, the man was in the canteen at the door.
19: asking what the world is like makes people want to vomit.
20: Catch the thief first, then curse the mother first.
2 1: I know how to make a long farewell.
Businessmen don't know how to hate their country, but they still sing nunchakus across the river.
Haha, Mulan is playing a video game!
24: A woman asks a man: Guess what I like most about you, which is big, which is thick and which is hard? The man was flushed and speechless. Woman: Fool, I'm telling you, with deep pockets, it's hard to learn!
25. Son: Dad, what is a drama? The ending is very nice. Son: Then I am the best student. I came out in this exam, and my name came last.
26: A child in the delivery room laughed after birth, and the midwife was very surprised. When she gathered around, she found the child's fist clenched tightly.
27: I found a contraceptive pill after breaking it, only to hear the baby laugh: TMD wants to kill me, no way.
2020 Funny Personality Talk Highlights
1, it's too hot, nothing is right, and acne is the most right.
I would rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince pig riding a white horse.
Sometimes I feel that life is really fun, but sometimes I feel that life is playing with me.
It is said that money is everything. As a result, I took the money to the canteen to buy a man but was beaten into a giant panda.
If you delay again, you will be kicked to the South Pole to waltz with penguins.
6. Last night, I was bitten by mosquitoes all night. The next day, I found that I lost weight.
I didn't know that dinosaurs could really reappear until I met you.
8. I still like plain face, because I can rub my eyes unscrupulously.
9. Everyone wants to catch the tail of youth, but youth is a gecko.
10, test lies with lies, and all you get are lies.
1 1. What are the two words you hear the most in the new water margin-eating wine.
12, shout after me: money is coming, money is coming, and as a result, money really falls from the sky. Alas, it turned out to be a dream.
13. Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles. Is there no wife in the old lady's cake?
14, put away your white eyes. I want to ask, "Is there red eye? Will it infect me?"
15, thanks to the dripping water in the spring, when I lend you a dime, please pay back one hundred.
16, don't be cool with me. You think you are Youku.
17, I have given you my phone number. Why don't you understand my mind? Charge me dozens of dollars for something!
18, the teacher said to his mother, "This child giggles at his crotch in class every day."
19, one day the emperor said to the little eunuch, "You can describe me in one word." The little eunuch said: hey!
20. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then you should eat at least a pair of whales.
2 1, I generally don't like to see a doctor, because doctors have nothing to see.
22. My left eye jumps for money, my right eye jumps for disaster, and both eyes jump. Does this mean that I am about to fall into a big hole full of money?
I want to be your heart in my next life. If I don't jump, you will die.
24. I went swimming in the lake in the afternoon and suddenly it rained heavily. I quickly dived into the water to avoid the rain.
25, I want to be as strong as a cactus, but also learn to poke the bad guys.
26. If you ignore me, I will sing "Uneasy" at your house.
27, the first thing to get up in the morning, open your eyes, the first thing to go to bed at night, close your eyes.
28. You are crazy, I am stupid, and you are crazy together.
Although I am delicate, I am actually illiterate.
30. When I go to bed at noon, I set the automatic reply to "Then what?" As a result, my classmate chatted with it all noon.
3 1, I didn't dare to sleep after watching ghost movies last night, and I couldn't sleep all over after being bitten tonight.
32. On such a sunny day, I was still sleeping, and I repented. In order to express my deep apologies, I continued to sleep.
Don't tell me that you are virtuous. You are simply too idle to know anything.
34. Gobble, obviously wolves and tigers, and swallows.
35. I want to be a stinky tofu-like person, smelling stinky and eating fragrant. This is called connotation.
36. A threesome must have my wife. Choose the beautiful one.
37. Don't call me ugly. I was handsome when I was a kid.
38. Behind every Altman, there are a group of monsters who are beaten silently.
39. I have made up my mind. When I grow up, I want to start an Internet company, and its name is Muer, just like Thunder.
40. Women now: Looking back, the weather is good. Looking forward to the future, no grain will be harvested.
4 1, Lao Ban, if you push us again, we will go to Liangshan.
42. What's the difference between Wei Xiaobao and Big Wolf? One is animation and the other is reality. Learn from Wei Xiaobao.
43. Every woman can only be a Lori for two years, while every man can, uncle, for a long time.
44. If one day men all over the world menstruate, I will sell sanitary classics.
45. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find out!
46. When I can't sleep, my roommate asks me to count from one to one thousand until I fall asleep. I had just finished drinking a cup of coffee when I finished counting.
47. Now I know that Baidu doesn't know everything. I asked it where my fiancee was, and it was difficult.
48. A tinkling cat lives in the dark forever because it can't see its fingers.
49. Maybe it wasn't a meteor that fell from the sky, but a crashed plane.
50. I know you don't treat me like a number. In fact, I have never paid attention to you.
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