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What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a mother?
What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a mother? People will experience many things in their life. Women have been held in the hands of their parents since childhood and live a carefree life. But when they grow up, they will get married and shoulder the burden of a family. Let's see the difference between their mother-in-law and their mother.
What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a mother? 1 1. Mother is mother and mother-in-law is mother-in-law.
In other words, your mother is your mother and your mother-in-law is your mother-in-law. The relationship between the two is different and cannot be confused. Your mother will always be your mother, which is an unchangeable relationship and fact, while the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is passive and often not determined by the wishes of two people.
You and your husband are husband and wife, and your mother-in-law is mother-in-law. You and your husband are divorced, and your mother-in-law is a passerby. The bond in the relationship is the son of your husband and mother-in-law.
Then you can't forcibly bring the content of the mother-daughter relationship into the mother-in-law relationship, thinking that the mother-in-law relationship can also have the content of the mother-in-law relationship.
This is always impossible. How to avoid conflict and self-contradiction without blood relationship, tolerance and the same content?
The special emotion in the mother-daughter relationship can't be cultivated as long as you are with your mother-in-law.
Or between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is actually no substantive content, just a relationship. First of all, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not established after two people know, are familiar with and approve, but after they agree with each other.
It is equivalent to establishing a relationship in front, and it is quite normal to get along. If you don't get along, treat your mother-in-law as a guest. You are lucky if you can get along, but you can also get along with your mother-in-law.
2, the love of mother and daughter, the love of mother-in-law.
In other words, there is love between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and there is affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so you can't impose the love between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on the mother-daughter relationship, and manage the mother-daughter relationship with the mode, thinking and idea of getting along.
Mom has selfless love for you, and you have selfless love for mom. Both of them don't ask for anything in return, and both think that it is natural to love each other. Therefore, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they don't seek the way of love, they don't seek the purity of courtship, they just want to feel the deep affection.
Love is something that is passed on to each other. To put it bluntly, it is emotional communication. In order to maintain balance, it must be reciprocal and reciprocal.
Besides, love is only an occasional warmth.
Then you can't ask your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to love each other all the time, think of you and consider everything for you, just like mother and daughter.
As for the love between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is just like when you encounter real difficulties, mother-in-law can lend a helping hand in time. But in normal life, you have your own life, you are all living your own life, and you can't ask your mother-in-law to directly assume those responsibilities that originally belonged to you.
If you think this is love, loving yourself all the time is against reality, life and the essence of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
3. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be willful, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be measured.
Because there is a special and precious affection between you and your mother, this affection can make you tolerate each other infinitely, tolerate each other, tolerate each other, that is to say, you can be free, presumptuous and willful in the mother-daughter relationship, and you will not be dissatisfied if you are scolded again.
However, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no particularly precious affection to support each other's relationship. Therefore, even if they get along again, we must maintain the appropriate boundaries and sense of boundaries of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and we must not cross the border.
Be polite when you should be polite, be grateful when you should be grateful, don't ask what you shouldn't ask, and don't care about what you shouldn't.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often because this is not done well.
In particular, mutual interference in life will lead to contradictions, grievances, outbreaks and collapses.
You should have your own life. You should have your own life. Although you are a family, technically, you are divided into two families. Live your own life and take care of your family. Things in life must not cross the line, and your mother-in-law is not someone you can be willful.
There was no one-night feud between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and everything was forgotten the next day, but when the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law broke out, all the little things would be counted.
Therefore, regarding the difference between mother and mother-in-law, you must have a steelyard in your heart and have a correct attitude. Only by understanding the difference between relationships can you know what you should do.
A lot of things between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't care too much, don't care too much, and shouldn't care too much, just about enough.
No one should think about who wants what and how to treat themselves. It's normal not to be in place, and there are mothers and daughters, but the aura of family has narrowed.
A person can't have everything, and there are places that he can't do. You don't ask your mother-in-law to be kind to yourself, even a little bit. This is a feeling. Love this thing, love this thing, and will never bear the responsibilities you should bear for you.
Love is caring, caring, helping and being polite. Don't think too complicated about relationships. To sum up, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often due to the lack of a correct definition of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a mother? The difference between mother-in-law and mother is reflected in the details of daily life.
In mom's heart, you will always be a child. Mom will always care about your life and care about you every day. Even if you get married and have a new family, you are still young in her mind and need to be taken good care of. Will take pains to tell you the details of life.
In the mother-in-law's mind, you are an adult and you have to bear family responsibilities. I will no longer think that you are a child who needs to be taken care of, but take you as an adult and take the initiative to take care of this family.
Mom knows what you are short of and will buy it for you. My mother-in-law knows what your family lacks and will arrange for you to buy it.
Mom will try her best to do this and that for you, and her mother-in-law will be picky many times and let you do this and that.
Mom thinks she doesn't give you enough, and her mother-in-law thinks you want too much.
Second, the difference between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is reflected in the bride price.
As a mother-in-law, I always feel that my daughter-in-law wants too much bride price. As a mother, I always feel that my daughter wants too little bride price.
I saw such an interview some time ago. A mother in Guizhou province is worried about her 26-year-old unmarried son, who can't afford hundreds of thousands of bride price. Moreover, she has a daughter and was asked how much bride price to prepare. She said 200,000.
Isn't it amazing, but this phenomenon is actually very common in life.
Most of us will naturally double-target when facing things that tend to our own interests. It is really accurate to sum up the word "double standards" in a sentence from history. There is no double standard in this world, there is only one standard-self-interest.
In the final analysis, people are very selfish species. When faced with a phenomenon that is beneficial to you, you will naturally make different choices with two diametrically opposite attitudes. This is clearly visible in the roles of mother-in-law and mother.
Third, the difference between mother-in-law and mother is reflected in having children.
Before watching a variety show, Bao Beier told his wife Bao Wenjing about her birth. She said that when the child was born, the mother was laughing and the mother-in-law was crying. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a mother? You'll know when you have children.
Mom will care about your pain for the first time and feel bad that you have suffered too much. My mother-in-law will care about the state of her grandson for the first time, whether it is cute or not.
Your mother will care about your health for the first time, and her mother-in-law will also think about whether it will affect the children.
I heard a friend talk about her situation after giving birth to a baby. Because it is a caesarean section, it is very important to cultivate in the future. Mother-in-law cooks every time to better breastfeed, but mother will also care whether cooking helps nourish the wound.
Mother-in-law said that breastfeeding is good for children, so she insisted on letting her friends breastfeed, but her mother suspected that she was in pain and asked her to add milk powder appropriately.
Whether you are a child, an adult or a mother, your mother's first concern is your health.
Even the same person will have completely opposite attitudes towards the roles of mother and mother-in-law. In fact, it is completely understandable that as young people, we have different attitudes towards our mother-in-law and our own mother.
After all, my mother and I are biologically related, and my mother-in-law are just strangers to some extent. If you don't treat your daughter well, don't treat an outsider well? This is obviously impossible.
Moreover, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the most taboo is to treat mother-in-law as her own mother and daughter-in-law as her own daughter. Because there will be boundaries between them. When a relationship is positioned beyond itself, it will only be the destruction of a relationship for both parties.
I support a series of behaviors in every relationship because of closeness. But I object to excessive double standards.
Just like the mother-in-law at the beginning of the article, the daughter-in-law is lazy and the daughter marries well. Just like the interview I saw before, my son got married too much and my daughter got married too little.
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