What is affection and friendship?

Home is a sheltered harbor bend! When you are tired! Bitter! Unhappy! You have something on your mind! Home is always the place you can rely on! Don't worry so much when you go home! Go home and relax! Back home, you are still a child! No one will say anything about you! Home will always give you a place to relax when you are unhappy! A place to take you forever! So when there are unhappy things! Be sure to think that you still have a warm home! It's okay. Go home often! Emotional bond

Eight kinds of friends

Make friends with you.

They will constantly inspire you and let you see your own advantages.

This kind of friend can also be called a mentor. They may not be your teachers, but they will certainly have rich experience in some fields and can often give you a lot of advice in career, family and interpersonal communication. Having such a friend in your life will become your biggest psychological pillar and often become an "idol" that can "influence" you.

Support your friends.

Always defend you and praise you in front of others.

This kind of friends can be described as "you help me, I help you", encouraging each other and being stepping stones to each other's growth. In the process of a person's growth, the support and encouragement of friends is the most precious. When you encounter setbacks, such friends can often help you share part of the psychological pressure, and their trust is just your "cardiotonic".

Like-minded friends

Like-minded people are also the easiest people to get along with.

Being with them will make your heart feel the same, commonly known as "tacit understanding." You will be close to them because of what you think and say, and you will often feel moved inside. Associating with them will help you to identify yourself constantly, and you can share your interests, life goals or preferences with them. This sureness of "* * * enjoyment" will give you a sense of psychological security, because with them, it is easier for you to realize your ideals and grow up happily.

A matchmaking friend

After I know you, I will introduce you to like-minded people soon.

Such friends are "helpful" friends. When you are proud, they may be rare; When you are frustrated, they will appear in front of you in time. They are always willing to give you the most realistic support, let you see hope and opportunities, and help you get positive psychological hints constantly.

Friends who cheer you up.

Interesting and relaxed friends.

Some friends, when we have worries and troubles, the first object we want to talk to is them. Such a friend will be a good listener and will make you relax. In front of them, you don't have any psychological pressure, you can vent your "depression" at any time and regain a balanced mentality.

A friend who broadens his horizons.

It can expose you to new ideas and new opportunities.

Such friends are also essential in life. They are your "encyclopedias". Such a friend has a wide range of knowledge, broad vision and many interpersonal contexts, which will help you gain many different psychological feelings and make you a person who stands tall and sees far.

Guide your friends.

Be good at clearing your mind and go to them when you need guidance and advice.

This kind of friend means "street lamp". Everyone has difficulties and needs. Once you are difficult to solve, such a friend can always consider your problem in the most timely and serious way and give you the most appropriate advice. When you are faced with choice anxiety and confusion, you might as well talk to them, which may help you better straighten out your emotions, know yourself and make a clear direction.

Stay with your friends.

When you have news, whether it is good news or bad news, you are always the first to tell them. They've been with you.

A young man said, please tell us something about friendship.

He replied:

Your friend is the answer you need.

He is your land, you sow with love and reap with gratitude.

He is your dining table and your stove. When you are hungry, go to him and seek peace from him.

When your friends confide in you, you will not be afraid of "no" in your heart, nor will you suppress "yes" in your heart.

When he is silent, your heart will not stop listening to his heart;

Because in the silence of friendship, all thoughts, all desires and all expectations are shared in silent joy.

You won't be sad to part with your friends;

Because when he is not around, what you cherish most about him will be more eye-catching, just as the mountain peak is particularly clear to the climbers on the plain.

Don't have any ulterior motives for your friendship, except to deepen your spiritual realm.

Because love that only seeks to reveal secrets is not true love, but casting a net: there are only useless things in the net.

Give your best to your friends.

If he must know your ebb tide, let him know your flood tide.

Are friends you only find when you want to kill time still friends?

True friendship is always pure and fragile, because it asks for nothing and does not depend on anything. All lonely people in the world have also met friendship, but they are broken one by one without knowing how to identify and maintain it.

In order to prevent damage, predecessors have thought of many ways.

A hard way is to bind friendship, that is, to form gangs. No matter how grand and powerful the ceremony is, in the final analysis, the gang still does not trust the stability of friendship, so it must use heavy punishment under the oath of blood to eliminate deviation. Faction has turned alienated friendship into a kind of violence, which is exactly the opposite of the original meaning of friendship's freedom and autonomy. I think that once the friendship is bound, it has already begun to deteriorate, because no one can tell, how much of the partner's loyalty comes from the heart and how much comes from the rules. Of course, it's not sincere loyalty or friendship. Even from the heart, how many personal elements are left under the embrace of group action? And lose a person, where can we say friendship? It is not difficult to understand that all combinations that devour individual freedom will inevitably lead to large-scale cannibalism. In history, the vast majority of gangs holding high the banner of friendship have finally become the barren land of friendship, even bloody and barren.

A softer way is to dilute friendship. Similarly, out of distrust of the stability of friendship, we can only use dilution concentration to obtain extension. Can it be broken without being condensed into a solid? "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water" is a clever statement, which contains wit and helplessness. Unfortunately, it was applied by people who had no wit but no choice. I'm afraid that all the promises can't be fulfilled, so I don't make promises; I'm afraid that all happy encounters can't last, so I didn't make a happy encounter, just kept smiling and nodding in the shadow. Some people also borrowed the mysterious oriental aesthetics to support this attitude: only words can understand; Without a word, it is romantic; I can't find any traces ... in this way, friendship has become a kind of freehand brushwork in ink and wash. However, at this point, what is the difference between friendship and acquaintances? This is not so much maintenance as suffocation, and dying friendship is worse than no friendship, which we all know very well. In the street, an acquaintance politely tugged at the corner of his mouth and handed us an overly reserved smile. Why is it so boring that we would rather turn around and say good morning to a statue? At the banquet, a guest extended his hand to show friendliness, but when shaking hands, he extended his finger to show indifference. Why does it make us so sick that we want to wash our hands by the pool?

There is a more vulgar way to paste friendship. Neither cliques nor pretends to be elegant, but greatly reduces the standard of making friends, expands the scope of making friends, and cultivates them harmoniously and widely. I really need friendship, but I don't trust it. I tried to accumulate the dosage to resist the desolation. This is a very tiring thing. I must accept every invitation and respond to every greeting. No one dares to offend. As a result, none of his friends regarded him as a confidant. With such a large catenary, there will inevitably be all kinds of troubles. He doesn't know how to express his position and has no coordination ability. Therefore, his eyes are often erratic, and his tone is flickering, which is inevitably suspected and looked down upon by any party. Most of these people are not bad people and have done nothing wrong. When there is a crack between friends, he sticks to it, and when friends are alienated from himself, he sticks to it. In the end, he also had bitter doubts about this friendship. There is no other way but to stick it in his heart. Always smiling, always in a hurry, but never clear: what is friendship?

The strong bind friendship, elegant downplay friendship, vulgar stick friendship, all in order to prevent friendship from breaking down, but it seems that they are not good methods. The reason may be that these methods rely too much on technical means, and once technical means enter the emotional field, there is always no good result.

In my opinion, in the field of friendship, what we should guard against is not the fragmentation of friendship itself, but the invasion of heterogeneity. Heterogeneity here does not mean differences in the general sense, but confrontation in the fundamental sense. Once invaded, the whole friendship system will undergo a fundamental change, and the consequences will be far more serious than the rupture. Obviously, this is not a technical problem.

Heterogeneous invasion touches an ontological paradox in the field of friendship. Friendship is born without a defense mechanism, which is the problem. After a few cups of strong tea and light wine, we can talk about the past and present for half a night, and then meet each other and become bosom friends. Of course, the so-called intimate friends should also close the door, dare not speak out in front of others, and spit out the inconvenience on weekdays. The darker and more secretive they are, the closer they become. If what you say is decent vernacular, how can you be a bosom friend? If you only treat family chores and short streets as private rooms, how can you behave? So this seems to be a natural fantasy space, where many people and things that are not willing to contact under normal circumstances are twisted together. Facts have proved that once distorted, it is difficult to get rid of it. Why did a wise scholar finally become a traitor because of the visit of several old friends? Why do great entrepreneurs who have never miscalculated go to jail just to show a friend something? What's more, a wrong hand is full of trouble, and a bad friend is involved for half his life, and every step is lost. There are many reasons for these consequences, but one of them must be to tolerate alien invasion for friendship. I was once uneasy, but I was afraid that I would fall into the trap of alienating friends and abandoning friendship. As a result, friendship has become a crutch to ugliness.

From this, it is more clear that we must never take preventing the breakdown of friendship as our goal. If it is broken, let it be broken, without pity; Although there is no break, you should break if you find that the noble essence of your life is seriously damaged. Rodin said, what is sculpture? That is to get rid of those unwanted things on the stone. Our own sculptures should also be chiseled away from those foreign impurities attached in the name of friends. If you don't chisel it off, you won't have a decent self.

For me, these truths have long been understood and many lessons have been learned, but it is still difficult to recognize the heterogeneity before things happen. The only thing I can do now is that when I hear the call of friendship, whether it is a young and enthusiastic voice or an old and kind voice, if I hear a vague whisper and smell a strange smell at the same time, I will stop quietly and stop moving forward.

Such friends are as broad-minded as the sea and mountains. Whenever you look for them, they will treat you warmly and support you forever. They are friends who can make you feel satisfied and calm. Sometimes they don't need too many words. Just silently accompanying you can calm your mood.