What should the younger generation pay attention to when an elder in the family dies?

Let me tell you! Because my mother passed away on December 7th.

In my home (Northeast), when a family member dies, there are first seven, three, seven, five, one hundred, one and three anniversaries.

The first seven days: On the seventh day after the death of a family member, go to the grave and bring 2 pieces of fruit and 1 piece of pastry. Then buy paper and incense, bring old paper, a mourning belt, and a flower from the wreath. flower. Go there, light incense, place tributes, say a few words about your memory for your family, and then start burning paper. While burning, let the deceased, collect the money, and ask her to bless the family's health, and so on. By the way, bring filial piety and Flowers and incense are burned, then the seniors bow, the juniors kowtow, and then they leave and go home. The third seven is the same as the first seven, but the fifth period is a big day, and you have to order paper work, that is, use Paper figures, animals, household appliances, etc., and a few banquets will be ordered, and then everyone will pay their respects together! Then there are the hundred days, the first anniversary, and the third anniversary. In short, people cannot be resurrected! That’s all! Other places may be different from my home, because each region is different!

When an elder passes away, the younger generation should handle the funeral arrangements for him in accordance with customs. They can only treat him with double respect and not despise him, because the human soul is eternal and always pays attention to his children. My father left that night after being discharged from the hospital. When I got home, my sister told me: My dad won’t close his eyes, no matter how hard he adjusts them! I came to him and said: Calm down! I'm laying a coffin for you! After a while, my sister told me that my father’s eyes were closed. Some things cannot be explained, it is better to believe that they happen.

My mother was just buried today. She had been ill for nearly 20 years. During this period, my sister and I tried our best to take care of and manage our mother. Some relatives did not visit my mother even once throughout the year. At most, they only asked the younger generation how her mother was doing. , but after the death of the mother, these so-called elders used some vulgar traditional rules to teach the younger generation, copying and pasting their own bad experiences to the younger generation. They did not care about the deceased when they were alive, but when the deceased died, Later, he tortured people with vulgar rules! Finding fault throughout the entire funeral! I was also extremely disgusted and resentful in my heart! Can the superficial appearance reflect whether a child is filial or unfilial?

My father passed away on August 13, 2006. We are in the northeastern countryside. When an old man dies, first of all, he cannot wear red and green clothes. He will be buried in peace on the day of death, and then he will be buried in a round grave for three days. The deceased goes up the beam (meaning to build a house) and tramples the yard to make the yard bigger for the deceased old man. Then burns the first seven, burning paper under the chimney root outside the house, and then burns the three seven, and the five seven pulls the paper horse back. There is a stable boy who puts a piece of clothing that the old man wore before his death on the horse and burns it together, and then burns it for a hundred days. Each time he brings tributes, fruits, fish, meat, wine, cakes, incense, paper, cigarettes... ..., three years after the death of the old man, he will not post couplets, or post couplets, as long as it is his immediate elders, he will not post them. Then comes the burning week, the first anniversary of his death, then the second anniversary, the third anniversary, the tenth anniversary...! Every year on the 15th day of the first lunar month, you go to the grave to send lanterns and set off firecrackers. You can also burn some paper or bring some wine. It will be determined according to the old man's preferences during his lifetime. From now on, you must visit the grave on the 15th day of the seventh lunar month as normal every year. Wine, fruit, burning paper! If there is a happy event in the family, the child is going to school, getting married, adding to the population! Going to Xi's grave means announcing good news to the elderly and letting the deceased elderly share their happiness. That’s all!

My aunt passed away last week. The funeral was held in the countryside for a week, which was seven days before she was buried. As a junior, I have been vigiling in front of the coffin since the coffin. Whenever someone came to pay their respects, I would kowtow to express gratitude. The younger generation had to hold a ceremony the day before yesterday. If there were many people in the family, it would usually be around ten o'clock. For seven days, they had to kowtow to thank each other for several days.

Most of the old people who lived in Lao Chen’s life have passed away now. Young people nowadays seem to have a much simpler way of doing things. Even though it is much simpler, there is still a lot of process that must be done. 1. Three days of vigil is mandatory, and there are also five days and seven days. Now most of them are based on three days. Children and close relatives and younger generations must be wrapped in white cloth, or wear mourning clothes, and wear white cloth mourning hats. Paper incense is constantly burned in front of the mourning hall. If there are relatives and friends coming, they usually kowtow three times to the mourning shed and burn a few pieces of paper. Of course, all those wearing mourning clothes must kowtow together with the guests to express their respect for the deceased. To express condolences and commemoration (and also to express gratitude to those who come), everyone who comes will be given a gift. Most of the people who help will have to eat here twice. Specially made large pots of stews, and a bowl of soup are indispensable. You can eat as much mutton and steamed buns as you like.

In these three days, you can smoke good cigarettes freely and drink good wine freely.

Second, from the time the deceased left this world within twenty-four o'clock, there was only one day in between, and he was buried in the morning on the third day. When arriving at the grave where the deceased is buried, a certain amount of ghost coins and paper money must be burned, as well as various household utensils. Some even burn paper houses and paper cars, and a pile of gold and silver ingots must be burned for the deceased to take to the underworld. For use, there are at least ten or eight delicious things placed in front of the tomb, as well as two bottles of wine, to show nostalgia and filial piety for the world. These foods are ultimately what the visitor is willing to eat, so feel free to enjoy them. If it is not eaten, it is left in the grave. The grave was filled with soil, and the process ended with the sound of firecrackers.

Third, the emphasis is particularly heavy. Every seven or forty-nine days, every seven days, you have to go to the grave to worship. Indispensable is to burn some tributes on paper. However, most of them have been simplified a lot now. You can go there on three days: March 7th, May 7th, and July 7th. Some people may go even less. In addition, you go to the graves of the deceased before the Qingming Festival every year to pay homage. Some may go on July 15th, some on October 30th, and some may go on the 30th day of the year. Most of them choose a rest day before Qingming Festival to worship. However, with the changes of the times, young people are more interested in going. There is a lot less emphasis on these. This mainly depends on ideological cognition. The importance of the family relationship between the living and the deceased, and the deep feelings of remembrance, have a lot to do with it.

When an old man dies, the family members will inevitably be heartbroken. Even if there are ten thousand people unwilling to do so, people cannot be resurrected after death. We must first accept the reality. The lives of the living must go on. Therefore, funerals should be kept simple. There is no need to be extravagant and wasteful. Don't waste time, energy, and property on funerals. If you have filial piety, you should show it when the old person is alive, and don't show it to others after the person dies. Please express your condolences!

After the old man passed away, the first old man could not go to other people’s homes without being buried; the second old man had to burn paper for the old man the next morning after his burial; the four major seven numbers were 1, 3, 5 and 7. All close relatives must be present, and the daughters have to go home crying the night before. This is called "Crying Street". After returning to their parents' home, the children must burn paper for the old man the night before and only go to the grave the next day; the 100th day of the old man's death. Today, all the close relatives will be there, and they will go to the grave and burn paper and wreaths.

Three years after the death of the old man, red couplets are not allowed to be posted on the door, only blue or green couplets; after three years, there is no particularity. As long as you remember to visit the graves of the elderly every year during Qingming Festival, July 15th, October 1st, and before the New Year.

We, the younger generation, can only handle the funeral arrangements. There is no other way. This is the law of nature and no one can compete with him.

First: According to local customs and customs, choose a good place for burial. But please note that some local customs do not allow iron in the tomb, so the clothes of the elderly cannot have iron, especially to prevent others. I came here to deliberately destroy you. Legend has it that you are not good for the family.

Second: There is another old man who you should pay attention to, especially in the days after the funeral.

Third: Budget how many days the funeral will take, how much money it will cost, and what items you will need. Distribute the things to other relatives or friends to help take care of things. This way, you can have more energy to do things.

Fourth: Some special relatives should call to inform them, otherwise others will feel that you do not take them seriously.

Fifth: If someone is too sad, ask for a photo to cheer him up or help him untie his knot.

What are your local customs? Welcome to discuss

The traditional Chinese "filial piety" culture can no longer be fully inherited in modern people's lives; for example, keeping vigil for seven days, wearing filial piety (one year for fathers and three years for mothers), fasting and eating vegetarian food, etc. Unable to do anything. But as a Chinese, the feeling of remembering our ancestors and being grateful to our parents should be embedded in our blood. Therefore, those who have "hot filial piety" in their families,

1: Don’t wear red or green; don’t laugh.

2: Do not participate in any form of entertainment activities;

3: Do not visit, especially the home where a child has just been born. This should be possible.