Talking about suicide

"My body is either burned or thrown away. I am upset if I don't send me home! "

This is a sentence left in the suicide note of a candidate on 20 18. I can't understand it after reading it. My parents gave birth to him and raised him. Not only did they not appreciate it, but how did they raise a deep hatred? With questions, I read this suicide note carefully.

In the suicide note, Xiao Si repeatedly stressed that he had low emotional intelligence and didn't understand his parents. But parents are really worried about EQ. No matter how hard their children try, they can't get their encouragement. Even if you get 98 points, you will be scolded. How can they deduct two points …

Living in a depressed environment of beating and cursing for a long time aggravated the resentment in the pages. He didn't feel the warmth of home at all, thinking that he would rather die happily than live so meaningless.

Imagine if your parents are cynical and even abusive to you every day. To tell the truth, this kind of injury will never be erased. Especially the following five sentences, if you can't tell others, how can you bear to tell your children? !

-0 1-

"You don't have to look at it to know that you can't."

What is more terrible than the difficulty is that your parents think you can't do it. Don't think that parents say this because they are rational and objective. It is your "understanding" that pushes your child to inferiority and mediocrity step by step.

There is no problem that cannot be overcome. Giving children a pot of cold water before they try is actually giving up on them. Shouldn't parents accompany their children to overcome difficulties and experience storms together?

Therefore, no matter what children do, don't hit their self-confidence and enthusiasm from the beginning. As a parent, you should encourage your children and dare to challenge yourself.

I believe that every child is a potential stock. How can you know how great the potential is without hard work!

-02-

"Don't listen, see how I tidy up you."

Threatening children, mostly when we are extremely angry, no matter how well we speak, the children will not listen. As a father, I can understand, but my parents must know the lethality of this sentence.

Parents often say this sentence, which will make children feel insecure, afraid and uneasy about everything around them. The children dare not play jokes on us. They are afraid that they can't master the sense of proportion, and as a result, they will be reprimanded, which will inevitably lead to the growing estrangement between parents and children, and the relationship between children will be tense when they are older.

Many parents may say, I'm just talking, and I won't really give it to my children!

But you know what? If you say it again and again, but don't implement it, in the eyes of children, you are a paper tiger, and your prestige is greatly reduced. Once this happens, children will become more lawless and more difficult to manage in the future.

-03-

"I'm busy, I'll talk about it later."

When a child comes to you for help when he meets a problem he doesn't understand in his homework, you often send him away on the grounds of being busy. But many times, those things are not the most urgent and can't be delayed for a moment.

If you are always so perfunctory, the effect is really obvious, the children will really leave you, and you will get eternal leisure, but is this leisure really the result you want?

A sentence with the same lethality as this sentence is "You are great". This kind of general praise is familiar to parents, but such perfunctory will not only make children feel happy, but also lose the motivation to continue to pursue Excellence!

Therefore, I hope that parents can take every little thing of their children seriously and don't always perfunctory. Many times, children come to you for trouble, but simply need companionship.

-04-

"Why are you so stupid? These questions are all wrong. "

I bought it in buy buy when I was sad, and scolded my husband and children when I was angry. This is a way for many modern women to decompress. For example, talk about children casually: negative words such as "idiot", "troublemaker" and "cheapskate".

Maybe some parents don't know that when we say these words, we are labeling our children negatively.

Once a child is labeled, he subconsciously believes that he is really such a person. Under this psychological hint, he acts accordingly and eventually becomes such an annoying child in his parents' mouth.

You know, a casual negative comment by parents is actually planting a seed of inferiority in children's young minds, which will eventually cause them a lifelong shadow.

-05-

"How can I have a child like you?"

Can we deny all the good aspects of a child just because he has done something wrong? It's not fair to the children. It is normal for children to make mistakes. Maybe when we ask him to correct them, he will occasionally be opinionated and even talk back.

But we said, "If I had known you were like this, I shouldn't have given birth to you!" " "This sentence, the child will be obedient and then correct? On the contrary, it will only make children feel unworthy of being loved.

When a child makes a mistake, please talk to him about it, and he will become more and more reasonable. If you complain like this every time in the end, let the children doubt themselves and deny that their thoughts are deeply rooted, then interpersonal communication will show inferiority.

Of course, parents say these words, whether unintentionally or angrily, in the final analysis because they care about their children and hope that their children will become better.

However, you should be careful, love can also hurt people. If you don't pay attention to the way you speak, even if the starting point is right, it will cause irreversible harm to your child. Don't wait until it is a tragedy to regret it.