I'm over 60 years old, and I'm still helping my daughter with her children. I'm often accused of taking care of too much. What should I do?

I help my daughter with the children, just like you. My daughter is very busy at work. She goes out early and comes back late every day, leaving the children entirely to me. When she comes back at night, she only makes out with the children, ignoring me and not caring. She never said a warm word, and she didn't even say hello when she came in and out, as if I owed her. I couldn't keep quiet for the first few days. I endured it for half a month. At the end of the month, my daughter used WeChat to transfer my living expenses, but I didn't receive it. I haven't received it several times. My daughter called me and asked me to get the money. I said no, you can take care of the children yourself or ask someone to take care of them. I won't bring it anyway. I'll give you a week to find someone. If you are interested, book me a return high-speed rail ticket in a week. If you can't bear it, forget it. I'll figure it out myself. Then I hung up. An hour later, my daughter called to ask why she left. I complained to her that I had done my duty and it was not my responsibility to take care of my granddaughter. It is a duty to help you, not to help you. I have traveled all over the country, and no one has ever dared to give me a look. Now it's up to your face to help you with your children. I won't accept it. My daughter cried and explained to me, asking me to forgive her, saying that she was too stressed and tired at work, so she ignored my feelings. When my daughter cried, my heart softened and my anger subsided, and I promised not to go. Since then, my daughter seems to be a different person and suddenly sensible. Come back every day and start calling me dad before you come in. [Yi tooth] [Yi tooth], the weather turned cold, and I paid 2000 yuan for clothes. Double Eleven insisted on buying clothes for me, and I wouldn't let her buy them. Now the performance is quite good, and the family is happy! Therefore, even your own daughter can't be patient, and she can't feel that you should, when you should lose your temper, lose your temper, don't be too wronged, and live with dignity. Like you said, just tell her you don't have children and let her figure it out. Have a chance to communicate with her and show her why you don't have children. I believe she will change. This is my suggestion. I wish you a harmonious family and a happy old age!

The old man was wronged.

Let me tell my story.

When my grandson was born at the age of sixty-six, he refused to play with the little dolls at home after one year. My daughter gave me three top instructions:

First, don't teach him anything, such as nursery rhymes and literacy.

Second, don't buy him any snacks, bring your own food and water.

Keep the distance between two people within one meter so as to help in time.

I also have three rules: first, don't be afraid of being dirty, which can improve immunity; Second, don't be afraid of being naughty, you can develop your intelligence and exercise; Third, don't be afraid of wrestling, it will make you walk more steadily when you get up. The daughters all agreed.

The three jointly established terms are equivalent to agreements and commitments. The family is a small river and lake, and it is necessary to talk about family ties and rules.

My home is ten minutes away from my daughter's. I arrived at his house at eight in the morning, and the little doll was ready to go. We go out at 8: 30, play until 10: 30, eat at his house at noon, go back to my house to rest after dinner, leave at 3: 30 in the afternoon, take out the doll and call it a day at 5: 30!

Pure play group! Leave all the questions to my daughter.

The doll had a good time and grew strong.

I was liberated when the doll went to school at the age of three and a half.

In the past three years, I have enjoyed water in summer and snow in winter, no matter whether it is cold or hot. Happy, tired without complaint.

The winter after my shift change, there was a heavy snow. The three of them made a snowman outside the door. The doll said, "It's snowing, and Grandpa hasn't come yet." He misses me! Because we have an agreement: I will come when it snows heavily. I cried when my daughter said this to me on the phone.

He is eight years old and has deep feelings for me.

My experience is: working under the guidance of my daughter,

I play under the guidance of the doll.

Make a plan every night and practice during the day. Patterns are always new, so play more "dots". It is not easy!

Therefore, my daughter often praises me for playing "many ideas", which naturally makes me very happy. Because this is the happiest thing in my old age.

After a rough life, half of my body has been buried, and I will be a free man next year. My children are calling for a journey!

However, in the world, only the generation after 1950s and 1960s in China listened to the Party most!

Going to the countryside is lingering; The factory needs people, so come back as soon as possible!

Only child, raised alone. Boil, boil, boil until the children grow up and get married, but the "horn" of the grandchildren blows again! Prepare to go to the "new battlefield"! Breathe out the last ray of the most beautiful sunset light with joy!

Ha ha ha, take your grandson!

Take it with you, there are joys and sorrows! Hard-working people have long been used to it. But this is my anger at my children's house, you know? I'm heartbroken and freezing!

He (she) is busy with work and has no time to tidy up the housework. He (she) said that things could not be found. Don't tidy up, just take a look, it's messy, dirty and annoying!

In Children's Home, I really feel like a leech in a rural paddy field! Can't throw, can't throw! Don't please, what a suck!

On second thought, I also came to my mind; After all, the child's home is not my home. I've worked hard to clean up as I please, and all I get is accusations! Be a "chef" for half a year and cook a dish. Ask them their favorite tastes every day before you think about them. ...

Hi! The home is so good, but the home is hard everywhere! So I gradually became "excellent" and was "taught" by him or her for half a year! Sum up experience and have a look;

Less participation, less management, less talking, less hands-on.

Open your eyes, pinch your mouth and cover your ears.

If you want to live a few more years, you have to pretend; Pretend to be blind, deaf and stupid, and pretend to be a "grandson" if you are wronged!

After 50, after 60! Put it down. Who taught us to be the parents of the only child?

Kid! You got it? Time is gone forever, children should be raised or not kissed!

Silkworms in spring will weave until they die, and candles will turn to ashes before tears dry.

Parents who have worked hard all their lives are like grasshoppers in autumn, and they can't jump a few times! Be kind to people in the sunset. ...

You should let her take care of the children by herself. Of course, this is not to teach you and your daughter to play "you can do it" games. Don't misunderstand me.

First of all, it is not the responsibility and obligation of the elderly to help their children with their children. The choice is entirely in your own hands, which must be confirmed.

I know it's hard to get rid of this idea, just like my own parents. I have repeatedly stressed that children are our own responsibility, but once our development is limited because children can't go out to work, the elderly will feel a little guilty.

Secondly, "making too many decisions", no matter whether you really dominate too much or are wronged, the fact is that your child is independent, and you have no right and no need to interfere in her life. This is another cognitive problem of responsibility.

If you really have too many decisions, in fact, you love your son, don't want to leave your child, and rely on your child in the name of helping her take care of the child;

If you are wronged, then in turn, your daughter wants to manipulate you and let you live according to her wishes.

Neither of them is a healthy parent-child relationship, but it also reflects that in the past, you should be more fond of your children. The arranged doting created the former, and the conniving doting created the latter.

Finally, you should have your own life. Most of your generation are fighting for "all for children", but shouldn't you take a formal rest and enjoy life when your children are able to be independent and have a family, and pursue the dreams you once gave up for your children?

I have repeatedly stressed with my parents that children should not be regarded as the whole of life, otherwise once we leave this family as children and old people, the old people will realize that they are worthless, which will lead to various problems. Life should be colorful, shouldn't it?

If you like staying with your daughter and can stand her criticism, if this is your happiness, you should negotiate with your daughter to make a specific rule and how not to take care of it too much.

In our daily life, no matter the old people in cities or rural areas, once they are old, they cannot farm or retire at home. In order to reduce the burden on children, they will still do housework for children according to their physical condition, such as taking care of them, which is also an indirect support for their work and life.

However, anyone who has taken care of children knows that it is very complicated and responsible to take care of children's three meals a day and daily life at home. Don't think it's just good to take care of the children? Children are naturally active and have a strong interest in the unknown, so some old people have to take their children to participate in various social activities and trainings under the premise of safety, and try to consider the problem from the perspective of children and reduce their burden. However, everything needs communication, even your own children. After all, the child is married and has certain social and life experience. I have an independent opinion on everything. I won't say much about children who understand their parents' kindness, and I will be grateful in my heart. But for children with strong autonomy, it is another matter, because in their eyes, in their family life, parents help take care of their children, which is nothing more than looking after them. In education, they don't need too much interference from their parents, because in their hearts, they think it will upset all their plans. Everything has to start all over again, causing unnecessary trouble. However, they don't think from the standpoint of their parents. Even though everything their parents did was not what you intended? But the starting point is for children, for your family?

As a parent, what if your children accuse you of making too many decisions for them? You can stop worrying so much. After all, you can't keep up with young people's thoughts when you are old, can you? Taking care of grandchildren on the premise of active safety is the greatest help. Too much participation in their lives will have an unnecessary impact on children's lives? Especially daughter and son-in-law? Didn't I say my daughter-in-law is an outsider here? In our life, a daughter-in-law is more filial than her son's daughter-in-law, but after all, in the life of a daughter-in-law, we should consider all the people and things in the family over there? There are many aspects involved and many emotions involved. In short, taking care of your children, taking care of your health, doing one more thing, being cheerful, dancing in the square dance and participating in the community life of the elderly will add a lot of fun to your old age.

I am babysitting my daughter, too. My principle is that my daughter is married and has her own life and opinions. I never interfere in anything in her small family, and I never interfere in the affairs of the young couple casually. The young couple both go to work, and my husband and I take care of the baby at our daughter's house during the day. When we have time, we can wash the baby's clothes and enjoy family happiness. In the evening, I will ask my parents to bathe the baby, play with the baby and put the baby to sleep. I'm just looking to help. 19: 30 or so, go back to my house. Take the baby back to his home for two days under special circumstances. As for children's clothes, baby products, etc. Ma Bao bought it himself and never asked. Parenting costs a lot, and I will help financially if I have the ability. If the weather is fine and I have the dream of driving out, I always ask my child's opinion first, and I never make a subjective judgment. Family life is inevitably trivial, and daughters are usually favored, but sometimes quarreling is a bit like cross talk. I just reminded my daughter not to stay at home. In short, elders and children have different ideas and practices, so just don't ask too much.

I'm not very good at talking. Helping to take care of my children in their home is a new kind of bloody slave. I have no right to speak and decide. I want to give them money, no salary and bonus, and I can't participate in politics. Only do things honestly, work hard, and be blind, deaf and dumb.

Since I am willing to help my daughter with the children, even if I am accused by my daughter, there is no need to appeal on the public platform about the embarrassment between mother and daughter. Who will help clarify the contradiction between who is right and who is wrong? My daughter's grandmother can also help with the children. It's a pity that the mother's duty is to help take care of her nephew's hardships, not to mention being accused by her daughter. It's so hard to understand.

As the saying goes, there are many businesses at home. I think other people's accusations are right and I feel uncomfortable, but being your own daughter's accusation is another matter. Just be happy, just play a joke on the children, why get angry! If you are in good health, do your duty to take the last shift and enjoy your family.

What should I do if I am over 60 years old and help my daughter with her children?

I became a grandmother and now I take care of my grandchildren. My opinion: First of all, at the age of 60, I am not qualified to take care of children and do housework, and my health is getting worse and worse. If I have a basic disease, it will be even more troublesome. I can help my daughter live at home, but I can't give priority to you. My daughter must understand this. If she can find a nanny, will she use a nanny in her 60 s?

Young people nowadays are ungrateful. As soon as I open my mouth, I say that the work pressure is great. In fact, their parents had six or seven children in the previous generation. Was it stressful? I have to go to work and take care of my children, which one is not hard? They are living in good conditions now. They are only children, and all the housework is done by their parents. Besides work pressure, what else?

With children in their 60 s, their energy really can't keep up. There is a gap between the two generations. You paid them, but you were accused. Who else is sick? If the free babysitter is not good, you can make it clear to your daughter. If you think I can't take care of it well, you can hire a professional parenting teacher.

60 years old, I want to live my own life. What I didn't realize when I was a child can be realized now. If I have a retirement salary, free control, travel and keep fit, cultivate my hobbies, go to the university for the aged, go to square dance, enrich my old age, give full play to my initiative and make life interesting. I don't have to look at anyone's face. I should live for myself most of my life.

Women in China have worked hard all their lives to raise their eldest son and grandchildren. Life is too short to let go. Young people will know that it is not easy for their elders to suffer, so they should leave quickly and live their own lives.

An old man like you makes me speechless. Excuse me, are you going to your daughter's house to help with the children, or are you in charge? You should arrange your own seats. The times are progressing, and so are the ideas of young people. Don't always think that you are right about everything. For example, my clothes used to be tattered and patched, but modern young people don't wear them. Can you manage it? Another example is that young girls nowadays spend a lot of money on worn-out pants, which are euphemistically called (beggar pants). As we old people, we can't get used to it. Can you manage it?

I advise you to take your grandson, have fun, eat, mind your own business, and don't suffer.

My humble opinion is for reference only.