The original intention is easy to get, but always hard to keep.

I accidentally dug out the kindergarten topic composition "When the children grow up..." that I wrote three years ago when my eldest son was in the first class of kindergarten. After re-reading it, I couldn't help but sigh. I didn't think so simple back then. What a complicated thought. Looking back now, I am filled with emotion.

Let’s first look at what I thought in this simple article I wrote back then.

When he grows up

As a mother, my vision for my son’s future is not too ambitious.

As for his figure, I imagined that my future son should not be too fat, because once I dreamed that he would become chubby due to eating and could not keep up with his classmates when running; nor should he be too thin, with a bamboo pole-like figure. , it makes people feel distressed just looking at it, and they can’t beat the bad guys when they encounter them.

Regarding his studies, I just hope that my son can keep up with the courses. Even if he only learns at a mid-level level, he will not become a nerd or a top student who only knows how to study. In that case, there will not be much fun. Word. Although as a high school teacher, I always urge my students to study hard and improve their grades, but looking at them, I always feel distressed and think that I will not force my son in the future. Thinking this way now does not mean that he will not be forced in the future. It depends on what the situation requires. But as long as I can do it, I still hope that he can live happily, which is more important than anything else.

Regarding his career, based on my own experience, I think it is better to let my son follow his own heart and make choices based on his own pleasure. If you don't do it well, you won't blame others or others later; if you do it well, you will feel happy.

For his love, out of mother's psychology, I think even if I think about leaving him alone now, maybe I will still have the same "mother-in-law mentality" that is the same all over the world. I want to take care of this and that. . However, I have already told my child’s father that after my son marries a wife, I will let them live alone and give them full freedom.

As a mother, an ordinary mother, I don’t want to force her to take this tutoring class or that professional course. If he wants to, I will let him study; if he doesn’t want to, I won’t force him. Regarding my son's future, I have never thought about him becoming famous and having a family. I only want him to grow up in peace, become a self-reliant adult, be free from illness and disaster, and have a peaceful mind. This is enough.

I hope that our son’s pure and innocent smile from the heart can always be available to us.

　2014/3/2

Today’s eldest children have really become chubby. They can eat and drink a lot of meat. This is mostly related to the eating habits of adults and should be adjusted. As for academic level, in the first and second grade, I often get double scores in major exams. In the third grade, English is added, and it is easier to get 100 points, but sometimes I don’t take the small exams seriously enough.

He has to do homework every night until nine or ten o'clock, and he has to devote a whole day to homework every weekend. The adults are very strict with him, but he feels that it is more of a torture to him. Where did the promise you made back then not to force him, and the heart that just wanted him to live happily, go?

Just when I saw this, I realized that our current approach has gone against our original intention. In the future, we may not be able to ignore whether he can attend tutoring classes or find a wife. .

Every parent may have experienced such a journey. When the child was young, looking at the child’s smiling face and listening to the child’s sweet voice every day made him feel very satisfied. I hope that the child will always be happy. This goes on; but as time passes, the more impatient or controlling the child becomes.

Now that I am looking back at my eldest son’s growth experience with my younger son, I find that there are striking similarities. The child likes to hold his feet and suck his toes, and often plays with his feet in the air, much like the older child when he was a few months old. The child can turn over and call mother, which reminds me of the same state of my older child back then; I looked up the photos of my eldest child from birth to about one year old, and I found that they looked the same as the younger one. The father of the child hugged the younger one and said he really hoped he would stay in this cute stage forever. The same words were said eight years ago. But...

After making such comparisons, my heart gradually softened when facing my older children.

Later, I simply became a hands-off shopkeeper and no longer paid too much attention to my eldest son’s homework. I left it all to his father to supervise and check. Otherwise, you will fall into the same routine: if you don’t do your homework, your mother will be kind and your son will be filial, but if you do your homework, you will be in a hurry. It’s hard for me to take care of my two sons now because of my physical strength and energy. It would be good if I could take care of their diet. Even then, when doing preparations such as washing, cutting, etc. in the kitchen, I often ignore the cry of the child. Taking care of the child will delay the dinner time.

However, no matter how much I resisted having a second child in my heart before, it still feels good to actually have two children around me. Looking at the older one thinking about how to take care of the younger one, looking at the younger one thinking about how to treat the older one well, I kept recalling the thoughts I had when I first gave birth to the older child.

"The Book of Songs·Daya" says: "There is no beginning for extravagance, and there is an end for freshness."

There is also a comment in "Huayan Sutra": "If you don't forget your original intention, then you will have an end." The original intention is easy to obtain, but it is always difficult to keep it. ”

Each of us has an original intention, and we may be able to think of our original intention from time to time; but it is difficult to say whether we can stick to this original intention in the future.

I will write it down and send it here so that I can remind myself of it in the future. I just hope that I can remember from time to time the care we had for our children when they were young, so as not to become an annoying adult.

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