It is difficult to be filial to parents, but those who change are unfilial.

The full text is ***2039 words, which takes about 5 minutes to read.

main body

In the group, I saw a little friend (bear) writing her feelings, to the effect that on Mother's Day, she bought several clothes especially suitable for her mother, and specially bought a mother-daughter dress. When I gave it to my mother happily, my mother said that she had many clothes and asked her to return them. At that moment, the joy and happiness that filled her heart suddenly disappeared, like a deflated ball, and she had feelings for her mother.

When he got home, the bear felt a little guilty and felt that he should not have emotions. At the same time, she also thought to herself, "Although I know that my mother asked me to return my clothes because I can't bear to spend money, I think it's really nothing to spend this little money. I hope my mother can accept my shopping for her with joy, instead of always saying that nothing is needed. "

It can be seen from here that the bear especially wants to love his mother, but her love is rewarded. What she wants is for her mother to fulfill herself, satisfy herself and see her intentions.

She realized this in Vipassana. At the same time, there are some small puzzles. "What is the right thing to do? Can I really love my mother? "

This feeling attracted a warm response from everyone.

A family member said he felt the same way:

Most people of the older generation, like this, don't want their children to spend money.

Every time I buy clothes for my mother, she will be very angry and say, "if you bring them, I will throw them away." I have more clothes to burn. " However, if I do buy it back, she will wear it happily, forget to take off the label and go out to show off.

I used to be tired of listening to my mother. After three months of filial chatting with my mother every day, I can understand her more and more, and this feeling has gradually faded.

No matter whether the old people are "duplicitous" or really don't need it, they all want us to see that our parents love our hearts, and we need to know and understand to truly love our parents.

* When this happens, we can say, "Mom, I just want to wear a mother-daughter costume with you, which is beautiful. Can you help me? "

* You can also meet your mother's needs happily and express: "Mom, you don't want me to spend money every time. You always consider me from my point of view. I feel your love for me, thank you. "

* You can even say, "Mom, you didn't accept my heart, but I moved my feelings. I see myself asking you to fulfill me and satisfy me from my own point of view, but I don't see your heart that loves me. Mom, I want to break this restriction, get close to you, know you, understand you and really love you. Can you tell me about your life experience? " This expression must be more meaningful than buying clothes for mom!

A family member said:

Recently, my sister and I have also experienced this process.

My sister has arranged that my parents can live with them when they are old, but my parents say they can still move freely now and don't want my sister to work too hard.

Since the beginning of this year, my sister and I have felt that our parents are getting older and older, and our little physical condition has not given us good news, so we have tried to solve it ourselves. And we want to know their situation every day, so our two sisters try their best to get our parents to move to a house only 5 minutes away from my sister's house and 0/0 minutes away from our house. After a period of hard work, my parents finally agreed to the plan.

Just as we were happily planning the preparations, my sister called me a few nights ago to tell me that my parents had insomnia recently. Because they decided to move, they had many worries, such as the new house is far from the city, it is inconvenient to go out, they can't see old friends every day, and they are worried about adapting to the new environment.

I suddenly realized the seriousness of the problem. Parents are satisfying our so-called filial piety and fulfilling us. But have we really considered their feelings?

We once said: "It is difficult to be filial to parents, but it is unfilial to change."

In other words, if you think it's easy to be kind to your parents, without difficulties or challenges, you may be an unfilial son. Because for most people, inertial thinking thinks that parents take time to see their parents, give them money, buy them things, and even buy a house and a car. They think they are very filial, but they just want too little.

What is true "filial piety"?

Others said, "Be filial to parents, be filial to parents, be filial to parents. Really? " This is definitely not right. If your parents are not on the Tao, will you still follow the Tao?

Just like one of our students, she is the child with the best financial conditions, and the only boy in the family, my brother, has the worst financial conditions. In order not to let mom and dad worry and be tired, after marriage, she has been scrimping and saving, trying to meet her parents' expectations of subsidizing her brother more materially. However, her efforts did not make her brother's life better, but worse and worse, which also affected the harmony between husband and wife and parent-child relationship in her small family. She is anxious and stressed.

It is problematic to follow the parents in this way, because parents treat their younger brothers too much and have too much responsibility, and "steal" the responsibility that belongs to their younger brothers. Now, she took the wrong baton from her parents and continued to indulge, so that her brother could not provoke his own responsibility. Finally, make parents more uneasy. Is this filial piety?

The last thing parents want to see is that their children are not doing well, their younger brothers are not doing well, at least their daughters can do well, but the children are not. This is not true "filial piety".

True filial piety is to grow up, make your life wonderful, make your small family happy, make your husband and wife love each other, make your children positive, and then bring the positive energy of your small family back to your original family, take responsibility with your younger brother, and have the motivation to run a good family. Let parents feel at ease and happy, feed their parents with love, and let their parents get the love that they couldn't get in the past in their lifetime, which is the real filial piety.

The intellectual property of this article belongs to love and happiness!