Humorous love words

1: Half of life is bad luck and the other half is how to deal with it.

2. It's better to be beautiful than to live beautifully!

3. It is not necessarily the prince who rides the white horse, but the Tang Priest; Wings are not necessarily angels, but sometimes birds.

4. Wife: Please! Stop drinking for me! Husband: Nonsense! I didn't drink it for you.

The more deeply loved and mature a husband is, the more immature a spoiled wife is.

6. Humor means that when a person wants to cry, he still has the interest to laugh!

7. Love precedes sex, and sex precedes love, just as eggs precede chickens and chickens precede eggs. It's hard to say which is truth and which is more noble than the other.

8: I allow you to walk into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

9: Don't be angry when your wife hits you. It's a kiss. Wife says you are a pig. Don't be angry, scolding is love. The wife beat and scolded, all for love.

10: If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you!

1 1: You never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

12: There can be love and sex without marriage, just as there can be four seasons without fruit. However, if you don't get married, you won't get a welfare house.

13: The temperature of love is like bath water. It's not that the hotter the better, but that you feel comfortable.

14: Like a grandson when you are in love. After engagement, learn to talk back like a son; Give orders like Lao Zi after marriage.

15: Officials flatter each other, artists despise each other, and businessmen tell the truth when they meet.

16: Good men make women understand the world, while bad men make women misunderstand the world.

17: A man's biggest secret is often told to his confidante, not to the same sex, family or wife. When the confidante became a wife, this part of her power was immediately revoked. This is called gain and loss.

18: A man's promises are like the teeth of an old lady in her seventies and eighties, and few of them are true.

19: beautiful women have many love stories, while ugly women hear many love stories.

20: Love, just say it out loud, because you never know which comes first, tomorrow or accident!

Humorous sentences about love

Humorous sentences about love

1 500 years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you the other day when I peeked at your posture of cutting vegetables in the window. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time!

2. The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

Hello, dear users, this is a network test. If there is no signal on your mobile phone, please slam your mobile phone on the ground until there is a signal. Thank you for your cooperation. Goodbye.

4. A man raising a woman outside is called "the golden house hides the charming". Women raise men outside, called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".

5. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.

6. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?

7, you are the sun in the sky, I am the mountain on the ground; You are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the ground; You are a crow flying in the sky, and I am a local dog chasing behind. ...

8. A first-class man has a home outside his home; There are flowers outside the second-class men's house; Third-class men find a home among flowers; Fourth-class family members go home from work; The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home; A sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

One kiss for your rose, two kisses for my home, and three kisses for your honeymoon. I am a fool in love, and I will never change my love for you! ! ! hum

10, you, you little goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but you didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

1 1. You are handsome, you are handsome, you are the most handsome in the world, with a nest of cabbage on your head and a sack of kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation failed god.

12. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. Chickens are mentally ill. They don't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are in a hurry and hide to see the chicken. Silly chickens are secretly looking at their mobile phones.

13, sister, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. It missed you, fell in love with you at first sight, chased you without saying anything, and came to you again and again. I must catch up with you. ..

14. Being single is understanding, falling in love is wrong, breaking up is awakening, getting married is wrong, getting divorced is awakening, remarriage is stubborn, no lover is a waste, and many lovers are animals.

15, baby, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky. I am a jackal chasing on the ground. I won't hit you or scold you. I torture you with my feelings.

16 Buddha said: Looking back 500 times in the past life, I only got this life passed by. If it is true, I am willing to exchange 10 thousand encounters with you and tell you: "I really want to love you."

17 You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, you ignore me and I commit suicide.

18 loving someone means that the phone is on, and suddenly I don't know what to say, just want to listen to the familiar voice. What I really want to get through is just a string in my heart.

There is a farmer who keeps a group of pigs. One day, he found that one was missing. He asked the other pigs where they had gone. Other pigs said: that pig is reading mobile phone messages in the corner!

20. The fish said to the water: You can't see my tears because I am in the water. Water said: I can feel your tears because you are in my heart.

2 1, when you go out, your wife has told you not to take the first row by car. Don't get up until you get the food clip. Don't get drunk. Don't pick wild flowers by the roadside. Don't bring your lover into the house.

22. Honey, I miss you very much. Do you know that?/You know what? I love you like drinking boiled water to eat, as natural as breathing, sleepless and gentle, so I will love you forever.

23. Although I am destined for someone, I hope that in the days to come, I can add a beautiful memory to your memory, and I can make up for the affection in the afterlife through my efforts in this life.

24. There are thousands of children in China. If this doesn't work, we'll change it.

25, mud is short! Mud is the dream of the Bird's Nest! I looked at the mud in dismay! I want to say to mud, I lack mud! Please read aloud in ascending and descending tones.

26, brand and gender: 20-year-old man Pentium 30-year-old man Hitachi 40-year-old man. Zheng Da! Fifty-year-old man Microsoft! Sixty-year-old Panasonic! Lenovo at the age of 70

Holding your hand is like holding a dog to touch your head, like touching a monkey to hold your waist, like holding a cat.

28. No matter how big a woman is, it is also a trivial matter. No matter how small a brother's business is, it's also a big deal. Is to eat in one place for a lifetime, but eat in every place for a lifetime.

29. I was discharged on Monday. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday, "First Kiss". Thursday, in love. Friday, beautiful lies. Saturday, romantic "kiss goodbye". Sunday, rotation.

30. I wish you: the position is high, the responsibility is light, the money is much and the things are little, and you are close to home. You sleep until dawn every day, your hands cramp, you spend money to give you gifts, and others work overtime to give you a raise!

3 1, Meimei Meimei I love you, like a mouse loves rice, you are my bread when I am hungry, you are my fruit knife when I commit suicide, you are my heart, you are my liver, and you are three quarters of my life!

32. Hope: the leader follows you, the car lets you, the money sticks to you, the court dotes on you, the official transportation accompanies you, the school depends on you, the real estate depends on you, and the lover loves you!

33. First-class smokers in Greater China can eat whatever they want. People who smoke second class can't estimate three or five wives. Third-class smokers are on their own. No one knows that level 4 smokers are exhausted by cigarette shreds.

Dear, you always say that I love to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I can spend nine days fishing for the moon, but I can catch turtles in five oceans!" " Because: that "moon" is you, and that "turtle" is you!

35. Husband, husband, I sleep in Guangdong during the day and relax at night. If I figure it out, I will become a rich man. If I can't figure it out, my husband and wife won't come to Guangdong. I can't put down two empty bags when you come to Guangdong.

You are the ugly duckling in my pond, the silly crow in my old tree, and the truth that I am drunk. Oh, what are you laughing at?

I am a vine, a melon, a fish, a shrimp, a pot and a flower. I make you laugh every day!

38. I think of your smile when I get up, I smell you when I wash my face, and you are my need before going to bed. I really can't leave you, dear-the toilet!

39. Me! The sky is like a dragon, you are like a phoenix on the ground, I fly in the sky and you chase after it on the ground. I love you, and I won't lie to you, just as farmers love corn.

40. I am your summer ice cream, winter cotton-padded jacket, light bulb in the dark, and bread when you are hungry! I really want to say "I love you"! !

4 1 You are a phoenix in the sky, I am a hungry wolf in the ground, you are a crow in the sky, I am an underground toad, you fly in the sky, and my mouth is watering in the ground. ......

I have an unknown poem. No one in the whole world knows. Only idiots and I know. Idiots are watching.

When I love you, you are beautiful; When I hate you, you are a zombie!

The first time, I went to see you, and your mother hit me, one by one! The second time, I went to see you, and your father hit me, one by one! Oh, uh, that sweetheart!

Judge: "It will be filmed soon. What is your last wish? " Prisoner: "Put on your bulletproof vest!" " "

Funny and humorous love sentences (70)

I'll pick you up when I open a cafe.

Second, I must find you when I miss you.

Third, I heard that marriage is very cheap, and the Civil Affairs Bureau got it for 9 yuan. Let me treat you!

If there is no problem, we will get the certificate tomorrow.

5. I will accompany you in the interview and help you record. Stay with me.

I hear it's cheap to get married now. Come on, let's get married. My treat!

Seven, I like you, I love you, it's none of your business.

Eight, I think you are really not a qualified friend, you'd better change careers and be my wife!

Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no choice but to grow old together.

You know, the first time I held hands with you, I decided to be your bride and lover forever.

Don't cry, even you are mine, let alone tears.

If you don't even have the courage to pursue what you like and who you are, you are doomed to be a failure.

Thirteen, all the good things in the world should belong to me, including you.

Fourteen, as long as you want, as long as I have, what are you doing outside? Be honest with me.

Fifteen, none of you are allowed to bully her, only I can!

Sixteen, girl, your mind lacks the Pacific Ocean. Do you want a worse person to feed the dog? Throw it away, pick it up if someone wants it, or it's cheap.

Seventeen, my heart is with you, and you still care about what I am doing.

18. I don't think you are a qualified friend. You'd better switch to be my husband!

If you can't protect yourself, let me protect you

You wait, one day you will be my son's mother!

Tell me when you want to get married, and I will marry you.

Twenty-two, you are my girlfriend from today!

Twenty-three, as long as your feet are on the ground, don't look down on yourself; As long as you live on earth, don't take yourself too seriously.

Take care of yourself if you can, or let me take care of you honestly.

25. If you dare to refuse me, I will ask you to come to me in ten months (which can be a season).

Twenty-six, if you dare, you will live with Lao Tzu for a lifetime!

You have no idea how much I like you.

Twenty-eight, I am a girl, I want money but no money, I want culture without culture, I want to be ashamed, I want to be in shape without figure.

Twenty-nine, you clean my house and I'll sweep the world for you!

30. What is gossip? Gossip is that the evaluation of an important person is repeated by a group of 38-year-old women.

Thirty-one, if you cry again, I'll go home and kneel and rub the washboard.

32. I will not let those who support me fall, and those who let me fall will never let them stand up.

Thirty-three, I will put a big water tank at home and plant lotus flowers in the future.

No one in this world is qualified to be with you except me.

Eat your food, drink your food and wear your clothes, but never rob your man. I would like to go shopping and chat with you during the holiday.

Thirty-six, I just like you, I just love you, it's none of your business!

Dear, if you love someone, please remember to tell him, then slap him hard and tell him loudly, "We can't."

Everything in the world should belong to me, including you!

39. Look, if you look at me again, I will eat you! Do not move. I want a bite.

40. If you plan me everywhere, I'm sorry, you will see a vicious and insidious bitch.

4 1, you stand there! Wait for me to fly there!

Take care of yourself if you can, or let me take care of you honestly!

43. The rain has stopped. It's sunny. Woman, you sweep the house slowly. I'll sweep the world for you.

44. Snow White's story tells us that even if seven diaosi are very kind to her, they can't compare with a kiss from a rich and handsome man.

45. Angels can't fly without wings. I, without you, means that angels have no wings!

Forty-six, don't tell me what to do without a lover on Valentine's Day. There are no dead people in Tomb-Sweeping Day's house. Is it necessary to kill several people?

Forty-seven, there are always some people around you who are very attentive when they use you and ignore you when they don't use you. People are not people, and dogs are not dogs.

Forty-eight, you see, I am a big man who always ties your hair!

Forty-nine, shall we try it together?

Fifty, you stand there and I'll run over!

I want to kiss you at any time. I really want to hear your heartbeat.

Fifty-two, be good at nodding to yourself, because life is not long, be good to people around you because you may not meet them in the next life.

Fifty-three, roses, yours; Chocolate, yours; Diamond ring, yours; You, mine.

I can't make everyone like me. After all, not everyone is human.

55. When you want to cry, find a place where no one cries, and don't forget to put your original smile on your face after crying.

Fifty-six, in this era, a dear is at best a hello. Don't move like you're going to heaven.

57. If loving you is a mistake, I am willing to correct it.

Meeting you is like ringing the bells all over the world, and the flowers all over the world bloom together!

Fifty-nine, girl, you must live like a man, or you will be sorry for the dog who is watching jokes behind your back.

If it was a movie, I should kiss you now.

Sixty-one, a lifetime is so long, waiting for you for a few years is nothing.

Sixty-two, how are you? I will take care of everything.

Sixty-three, dear! Build a siege! Surround me! I don't want to drift all the time!

64. The innate domineering and strong possessiveness tell me that I must be the king. So when we fall together, I am the one who gives orders.

Sixty-five, give up you, next life!

I hope you will be buried in my ancestral grave after your death.

Sixty-seven, as a man, it is most manly to protect the person you want to protect.

Come with me, your name will appear in my household registration book one day.

Sixty-nine, I really admire those who have always looked down on me and persisted until now. The most interesting thing is that some people who are called friends have given up halfway, but they have persisted until now.

Seventy, I want to have a home, which belongs to both of us.

Funny and humorous sentences

1) Okubo Matsuo is dead, but she will live in my C, D, E, F and mobile disks forever.

2) I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

3) Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it means to catch, not not not to catch. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt that itch for a long time.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am in front of you!

5) An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

6) Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

7) Behind every successful man, there is a woman who tortures him.

8) About thongs: I used to take off my underwear to see my ass; Now, take out your ass and look at your underwear.

9) Fuck love!

Carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

A complete collection of interesting and humorous sentences

1) be a person who wanders between cow a and cow C.

2) Does bleeding hurt?

3) People without medical insurance and life insurance should not try to be brave after dark.

4) Don't always tell me the story of Social B as an ordinary person! Why can't Baidu search you again? No matter how tough you are, you can't hold your urine, can you?

5) Century, the most important thing to me!

6) It is gold, which will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

7) Shout loudly: My illness is finally saved!

8) I have a kind heart. Usually even stepping on an ant can recite Buddhist scriptures. Chuangjian died and built a grave for him. I was even more afraid of being single and lonely after his death, so I stepped on dozens of ants to accompany him. I tried my best.

9) Men pretend to understand if they don't understand, while women are just the opposite.

10) If Taiwan Province Province doesn't recover, I won't pass the grade in one day!

1 1) The beauty of life comes from your love for life; The innocence of friendship comes from your sincere treatment of friends.

12) The premise of a person's luck is actually that he has the ability to change himself.

13) When the sauce of instant noodles changes from liquid to solid, otaku will know that summer has gone far.

14) God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and tired.

15) wonderful message from men who work overtime on weekends: woman, you slowly clean up the house at home, and I will go out to clean the world for you.

16) failure is not terrible, the key is to see if this failure is a successful mother.

17) You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a temper. You should live bravely to set off the beauty of the world.

18) Cherish every encounter, remember every happiness, care about every separation, enjoy every romance, bless every love, and may all lovers be well.

19) You have one second to acupuncture, but I have to spend my whole life solving it.

20) Don't always ask when the pain comes: Why me? Because you didn't ask this question when happiness came.

2 1) Wait for me to make a comeback.

22) Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

23) Grandpa was handed down from his grandson.

24) The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath!

Love is like sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it will run.

26) I have been in love several times because of loneliness. Who knows that it is easy to be kicked after repeated battles and defeats!

27) They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET.

28) Everyone says I'm an actor, because my eyes roll when I see a beautiful MM.

29) How nice it would be for your parents to go for a walk that minute!

30) The boy is poor, otherwise he doesn't know how to struggle; The girl is full, or some flowers will be abducted.

3 1) Lie down where you fell.

32) What can you do to kill your lover?

33) For people who always like to talk about what they used to be, our boss said: You used to wear open-backed pants, do you still wear them now?

34) God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

35) Exercise muscles to prevent being beaten!

36) Life is sometimes forced by eunuchs. Resistance is painful, but it is still painful not to resist!

37) The greatest sorrow in life is not that you can't get anything, nor lose anything, but that you don't know what you want at all.

38) I really want to call your grandfather in person: Dad!

39) If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

40) If handsome can be a meal, then my handsome can support hundreds of millions of people.