A mother’s personality determines her child’s life. These three types of mothers are the most terrifying.

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Author/Liang Wangji

Source/Ten O’clock Reading (ID: duhaoshu)

A good mother is worth a dozen Special teacher.

A professor of psychology at Peking University once said: The mother’s personality affects the child’s future mental health and happiness in life.

Indeed, the mother is the person with whom the child has the most contact during childhood, and is also the first teacher in the child's growth process.

Therefore, every word, deed, and action of the mother has a huge impact on the child, and even determines the direction of the child's life.

Whatever the mother’s character is, the child’s fate will be determined.

In life, these three types of mothers are the most detrimental to the physical and mental development of their children.

01

Controlling Mother

Psychologist Li Xue once wrote in "When I Meet a Person":

"Wherever parents extend their controlling hands, children will experience pain throughout their lives."

It is true that once parents' love is airtight, children will be covered in wounds.

South Korean principal Lee Yoo-nam, who is praised by millions of parents, was once a controlling mother who was even regarded as an enemy by her children. At the beginning, she established a family motto for her children, which was "do whatever your parents say." Therefore, she always uses the slogan of developing her children to plan their lives, and the children only need to implement her plans. She "cares" about everything from how much TV her children watch to what major they study. In order for her son to successfully run for the student union, she worked hard and took her husband to revise the speech over and over again early in the morning. When she learned that her son's club had chosen the hip-hop club, she was furious and even deceived the class teacher and wanted to transfer her son to the reading club. Her son wanted to develop drumming as a hobby, but she refused. Every time she comes home from an outing, the first thing she does is to feel the temperature of the TV series to calculate how long the two children have watched TV. Under her control, the two children had no sense of self at all. What she never expected was that instead of allowing her children to successfully grow up, her arrangement actually injured two children. A pair of children hated her and resented her, and dropped out of prestigious schools one after another. The son became rebellious and played games at home every day. The younger daughter even broke down and mutilated herself, crying all day long. A study in the "Journal of Positive Psychology" showed that parents' excessive control has a negative impact on children's happiness that is similar to the negative impact that the loss of a loved one has on people. It can be seen that how controlling the mother is, how miserable the child will be.

The mother’s desire to control is more like a kind of indifference to the child.

Because each body can only accommodate one soul. Once the mother forcibly intervenes, it will only make the child depressed and painful in the end. A mother should be like a lamp to her children, not a crutch. Real love for children is thoughtful but not controlling, and it is a graceful exit. Learning to let go and hand over your child's life is a lifelong educational topic for every mother. Because an independent and sound personality is the greatest confidence for a child to live a good life!

02

Grumpy Mother

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: "The influence of mothers on their children is huge, especially the impact on emotions. It will last a lifetime. ”

The mother’s temperament directly determines the child’s happiness.

Writer Mao Lengdeng shared a story in the book "Growing Up Again":

Ma Li's mother is a very irritable person, and she often loses her temper with Ma Li because of the smallest things. .

Ma Li accidentally scalded herself while carrying a boiling kettle.

When her mother saw that she had a big blister, she felt that she was deliberately trying to embarrass herself, so she beat and scolded her all night long.

Ma Li praised her aunt's dress for being so beautiful. When she got home, her mother said she was a white-eyed wolf who didn't know how to be familiar with her and only cared about pleasing other adults.

There are many such things.

What she never expected was that her mother's bad temper would become a lingering nightmare for her.

When she grew up, she also copied her mother's bad temper.

When she quarreled with her boyfriend, she would curse and beat her in every possible way, and even said unpleasant words to attack her boyfriend's parents.

Not only that, she also has a very low self-esteem and tries to please others without any bottom line, thinking that she will be liked in this way.

She never refuses other people's requests. Even if it is not her fault, she always apologizes first.

The sequelae caused by her mother's bad temper made her suffer a lot.

Her irritability caused her unbearable boyfriend to break up with her; her flattery never gained her any true love.

In psychology, there is a "butterfly effect" that goes like this: A butterfly occasionally flapped its wings in Brazil, which caused a sudden death in Texas a month later. of a tornado.

The same is true when applied to emotions. A mother’s random temper tantrums, over time, will disrupt the child’s world beyond recognition. Every "harsh word" a mother says to her child will leave clear scars in the child's heart. The mother's temper will not only affect the child's character development, but also have an impact on his or her future life. Children of mothers with bad tempers may be irritable and unstable, may have low self-esteem, may be weak, or may lack a sense of security. The children of mothers with a good temper are more confident, full of heart, and capable of loving themselves and others. In a child's life, the mother's influence on the child is indelible. The best education for children is to control their temper. Because only when the mother learns to control her temper and nourish her children with a peaceful temperament, can the children grow up healthily and vigorously!

03

Mothers who often complain

Psychological counselor Lai Peixia once said in her speech "Why is happiness so difficult":

When Your mother has lived in sorrow and pain all her life. Do you dare to be happy? The answer is difficult. Indeed, when mothers love to complain, the children are always the first to suffer. On Zhihu, someone asked this question: "What is it like to have a complaining mother?" Below, a netizen anonymously shared his true experience and feelings. As far back as netizens can remember, my mother has never stopped getting angry, and she gets angry and complains almost every day. Even if it is a small matter like cooking a meal, my mother will complain for a long time. Her mother's complaints caused her great distress, but they also affected her character. After getting married, she became like her mother, irritable and complaining all day long. Her husband couldn't stand her personality and filed for divorce. Scenes of her mother complaining as a child lingered in her mind, causing her to become depressed and negative. There are many sequelae caused by her mother's complaints: for example, she lacks self-confidence, rushes to do things, is afraid of doing something wrong, and is afraid of saying something wrong. The whole person is timid and timid, to the point where he doesn't even dare to interact with other people. Although I feel distressed, I have to admit that a mother who only knows how to complain is a nightmare for her children throughout their lives. It was her mother's complaints that ate away at her happiness bit by bit and cast a haze over her life with her own hands.

Many times, a mother’s temporary complaints bring a lifetime of hidden pain to her children.

Because emotions are contagious. When a mother constantly complains to her child, the mother's bad mood will be passed on to the child, making it difficult for the child to grow up healthily or even be happy. Those happy children are not because they have more, but because their mothers complain less! Mother’s mouth is the child’s world.

If mothers don’t complain, their children’s world will be bright throughout their lives!

04

Psychologist Bruders pointed out:

Children’s psychological development will be affected by their parents’ behavior and attitudes. Among them, the mother’s personality often affects It has a profound impact on children's psychological and character development.

It is so profound to say that the influence of a mother on her child is engraved in the character and soul, and determines the fate of the child's life.

What the mother’s character is like, the child’s life outcome will be like.

If the mother is very controlling, the child will be miserable throughout his life and may even have no self.

If the mother has a bad temper, the child will have no sense of security and will not love himself.

The mother will always Children who love to complain make their world full of gloom and find it difficult to be happy.

The mother's personality not only affects the child's emotions, but also affects the child's life direction.

When treating children, you might as well control them less and respect them more; get angry less and exercise more restraint; complain less and be more grateful.

Only in this way can we lay a warm foundation for children's lives, giving them the confidence to resist the vagaries of life and embrace a better future.

Click to watch, let’s encourage each other on the journey of raising a child!