A great sentence, which makes people feel instantly.

Lead: I was a little lonely when I was drinking in a bar last night, playing with my mobile phone. At this time, a handsome guy came up to me and accosted me: "Beauty, I lost a big adventure with my friends, so I have to be punished to come over and kiss you." Can you cooperate with me? " I nodded, quickly closed my eyes, pursed my lips and waited for his kiss. When I opened my eyes again, I found that he had taken the mobile phone.

1. The carp said to the fisherman, "Let me go. Let me go and I can realize your three wishes. " "What if I eat you?" "If you eat me, you will be great. Not only is it nutritious, but it will also gain terrible magic and be omnipotent ... Hey! "

2. Every time I see my wallet deflated again, I will check the values of my heart, liver, spleen, lung and kidney online. I still have millions of properties! ! ! I feel much better in an instant. ...

One day I said to my wife, "If you are not nice to me, I will go gay." The wife said calmly, "Don't be whimsical. I will attack you for two minutes, and I will keep you from getting hemorrhoids. What are you doing? "

4. I took the bus and saw a wretched man rubbing his sister's ass in front. I don't like this kind of person the most. I immediately got up and offered my seat to that sister. My sister always thanked me, and I smiled knowingly. Can I let that bastard go so easily, so I stood behind him.

5, you know, when you sleep, put your mobile phone beside you to charge, it is easy to gain weight! Simon Kyle, an expert at the University of Manchester in the UK, said that the human body needs a dark environment to produce enough melatonin, promote metabolism and turn food into energy. Electronic products will emit short-wavelength blue light when charging, which will hinder the production of melatonin and lead to obesity. I see. We finally found the root cause.

6. The director asked her to go to the hotel for an interview. She hesitated. The director said, "Don't worry, your parents are my friends, and I won't harm you." Who knows that as soon as she entered the hotel room, the director couldn't wait to ask her to take off her pants. She had to take off her pants and watch the play silently. The director looked at it, threw her a bag and said, "Ha ha ha! I knew you didn't wear it, and your mother asked me to remind you to wear long pants! "

No sooner had I got home than my mother handed me my mobile phone. I read the short message: Mom, my girlfriend and I were arrested for opening a room. Please call police officer Ye and ask for 3,000 yuan to redeem me. I asked my mother, "Did you send the money?" Mom nodded, and I said gloomily, "I'm single, you don't know. This is obviously wrong. " My mother looked at me: "I'd rather believe this is true!" " "

8. I had a barbecue at my friend's house last night. When I opened the beer, a buddy tried to bite with his teeth, but he couldn't bite for a long time. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I said to him, "Here's a wine screwdriver. Are you tired? " Who knows that this product came with a sentence: "If I didn't brush my teeth today and slipped a little, I would have opened the box."

9. Buddies often show their love in the circle of friends. One day, I couldn't stand it anymore. I asked him, "Haven't you heard of it?" He smiled sadly: "I just know, why is this sentence of TM useless?"

10. At the end of the story, the storyteller always says, "If you want to know what will happen, please listen to the next chapter." End this. Now many teachers also use this way to talk about a topic, talk about it, talk about it. At the critical moment, they said, "We'll talk about this answer after class."

1 1. Today, a male colleague and a female colleague quarreled in the office, and they quarreled with each other. The woman couldn't argue with the man, so she picked up the perfume and sprayed it on the man, saying, "Nima, I can't argue with you, let your wife get you away!" " "The office is messed up in an instant!

12. In the next month or two, the number and frequency of your mother calling you will increase obviously. Don't be fooled by her sweet words and caring and attentive. Remember, she has only one purpose: to make you wear long pants.

13, Bajie snapped: dead mosquito, I killed you ... Tang Priest: Amitabha, Bajie is a monk, so he is merciful, so why kill? Bajie: Master, it bit me and sucked my blood. If I don't kill it, it will come again ... Tang Priest: Nima, if it is really a pig, why don't you take off its straw? ...

15, a kindergarten teacher. At the beginning of school, children in small classes cried because they were excited about going to kindergarten ... One child cried for a long time, pulling me and saying, Teacher, I'm tired of crying. Why hasn't my mother come yet? I ...

16, when I was a child, there were more than a dozen sheep lying in the grass in the sun on the top of the mountain. When I woke up, the sun had gone down and the sheep were gone. I was immediately frightened, afraid of being killed by my mother ... I called my mother at the top of the mountain (the house is at the foot of the mountain, and I will hear it when I shout). My mother said, I don't want sheep. Come back, go home crying, and find that the house is full of sheep. ! ! Leave me on the mountain.

17, the second-rate man "married" a wife. Man: "It's depressing to marry a fat wife." Friend: "What's the matter, did she bully you?" Man: "no, because it's too fat and too nervous." I haven't responded to touching her for a long time. " Friend: "No, there is such a thing. What happened in the end? " Man: "finally, with acupuncture, she responded and blew a big breath."

18, squatting in the toilet has nothing to do, sending text messages to some friends: Nima, did you drop your mobile phone in the toilet? A reply: do you use it to send text messages when you shit? Another reply: Do you take shit by texting? Another reply: Nima, shit also sends text messages? Grass is a friend. ...

19, go to work to buy things in the morning. When I checked out, I saw a beautiful woman in front take out a banana from her bag. Just as I was wondering, the beautiful woman opened the banana and took out a stack of money from it. It turned out to be a wallet. The wallet is made into a banana shape, and a person next to it may be as curious as me and say to the beautiful woman, "Your wallet is very distinctive!" " "Beauty said," Yes, it can also be inflated as a toy! " "

Although I don't usually write love stories, some friends still ask me how to write them. According to my observation, a good love story usually consists of two elements: 1, something you don't usually do; The word "you" should be used in the second sentence. For example, "I usually don't eat arsenic, except when I'm with you", "I cross the road carefully, but occasionally I want to be hit by your car", "It's cold to hang myself in the middle of the night, but I miss you very warm" and so on!

2 1. The third season of The Good Voice ended perfectly, but Perhat Khaliq was a little depressed. He walked down the steps and asked Wang Feng, "Teacher, didn't you tell me that as long as I relax myself, I will definitely become a champion?" How did you become the runner-up? ""Yes, I did, but I was right. Wang Feng pointed to the diamonds on the stage and said, "Chen Bi is the champion! "

22. A foreign female teacher came to the class today. Xiao Ming kept looking at the teacher's nakedness in class. Teacher: "Do you know that you are rude?" Xiao Ming: "Sorry, I watched too many movies. I thought there would be subtitles below ... "

23. The blind date introduced herself: "The monthly salary is less than 20,000, the height is less than two meters, and the weight is more than 100!" Bobby said, "The monthly salary is 2000, the height 165 and the weight 170!" "Much better!

24. Today, I went to the supermarket with my parents and saw a anthropometer at the entrance of the supermarket. I threw a dollar and stood up to measure, but the machine actually came out: "This machine only measures people, thank you for your cooperation." A burst of laughter broke out around the supermarket. Get out of my way, the labor will tear down this piece of shit!

25, once drunk, mistakenly entered the ladies' room, when a woman screamed and shouted. In an instant, I was half drunk and half awake, pretending to be confused and crying and saying, "I'm dead, and the whole world looks like a person!" " "Then the girl apologized to me and comforted me for a long time!

26. Walking with MM this afternoon, I met a group of black people taking pictures. There are many people coming and going, so it's hard to take pictures. We stopped politely and watched them finish taking pictures before we passed them. I saw the MM next to me silently saying, "They can only take pictures during the day. Let them go, it's pathetic. "

27. My son was scolded by his mother because he didn't study well. After being scolded, the son looked at his father with sad eyes and said, "Why did you marry her?" Dad also replied with sad eyes: "not because of you!" " "

28. In chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvent and solute: "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute. For example, if you eat a bowl of rice, eat another bowl, and the third bowl is full, can you still eat? " A student asked, "Is there anything to eat?"

29. "Can I ask one last question?" "Love, I have something to do tomorrow, and I don't have much money. I have a class on the 8th, and I didn't write my homework. This topic won't. Lan Xiang, Baoda, help my mother. Don't regret it. I don't know Amway. I don't know why pigeons are so big. At the moment I hurt you, the shadow part of your heart covers an area of about 9 square centimeters. Is there anything else to ask? "

30. Today, I saw a monk pick up the courier, open it and take out a diamond sutra. God, I don't even have to go to the West to learn from the scriptures these days.

Editor's note: I always feel that my photo is ugly and detrimental to my image. Finally, I asked a friend of the Public Security Bureau to take a new photo. Struggling for a long time, I still haven't changed. Well, the reason is that the original one is more handsome by comparison!

Talk about the mood phrases that make your heart ache instantly.

First, people in the past are like moldy bread, fermented milk, tea overnight and incense the next day. You remember how beautiful it was, but you can't restore it. Don't look back. You know the past is irreversible.

Second, nostalgic people are always vulnerable. They like to wait for the rest of their lives to say that they are fine, but when you miss the past, how long can they remember you?

Third, love is so uneasy and hurt so thoroughly. I became everything you wanted, but I lost myself and never had you.

Fourth, it must be harder to say goodbye, because whoever looks at it more may be the last one, and saying more may be the last one.

The saddest thing is to meet in a hurry, get in a hurry and lose in a hurry. Then I left a scar in my heart. It hurts when you feel pain.

6. People are different after all. Some people deliver food in the wind and rain, but it is not as good as someone casually saying good night.

If the person you like doesn't like you. Even if people all over the world like you, they will still feel lonely.

Eight, unwilling to hurt others, always smile and forgive; She doesn't care about herself and always supports her with tears. Some feelings can only be given to the heart and rubbed into tears; Some feelings can only stay in the mouth and hide in the heart.

We used to love each other very much. Now we try to forget our love.

10. Parting is already planned, so why make excuses? All parting is not love or can't love. After you leave, you may still like it, but you are less persistent together.

Eleven, we will never think that the other party is irreplaceable as before; We will never love as hard as before until we cry.

Twelve, don't think too great of yourself, you know, in other people's world, no matter how well you do, you are only a supporting role.

Thirteen, sometimes, the heart is like a knife, but also smile brightly. I am fragile, but I am strong. Tears are rolling in my eyes, but I tell you that I am fine.

I like to pretend to be free and easy when I say goodbye. After I said goodbye, I tried to suppress my thoughts. I can't hide from the night singing to wine, and I can't hide from the deserted streets.

15. I want to do a hundred things to keep you, but in fact I can't keep you even if I do a thousand things. What makes me sad is that I can't do anything.

Sad mood phrase

Sad mood phrase

1. The upward movement of the corners of the mouth is no longer mine …

2. Let you go and quit the drama with no ending …

No matter how beautiful the vows are, no matter how tragic the ending is, they are all true.

In this world, there are always more people watching your jokes than those who care about you.

Like me, he keeps changing his signature. In fact, he just wants someone to feel something. ...

6. Time flies, who are you waiting for?

7. I don't even know who to cry for …

8. I am stubborn and unwilling to give in, but all I get is scars.

9. Invisibility is not to avoid anyone, but to hope that someone will find out that I have disappeared.

10. Some friends once had nothing to say, but now they have nothing to say.

1 1. Some people, after seeing it clearly, look down upon it.

12. pearls are the distress of shells all their lives, and you are the concern of my life …

13. All you can do for me is happiness, and all I can do for you is blessing …

14. I poured out the sadness of the whole scene at night, and I was the only one who was hurt, but how many people can watch it? How many people can understand the moonlight crying all over the sky and sleeping alone in my body? Who can understand no one's helplessness?

15. Do you always change your bottom line for one person? I keep making excuses for someone, and I keep trying to forgive ... but, in fact, ta doesn't like you that much.

16. You will never see my loneliest appearance, because I am loneliest only when you are not by my side.

17. A young child is an innocent angel, so kind that people can love him ... He will learn to hold his head high just to prevent tears from falling from his eyes, and even if he is hurt, he will pretend to be strong and smile, and then tell you: I am fine, really fine ...

18. One walks, one sleeps, one thinks, one is drunk, one is busy, one is tired, one is upset, and one experiences.

19. Whoever laughs and cries laughs.

20. Although people changed from animals, it is a pity that many people have changed back.

2 1. Forever and ever, not at all. The seas run dry and the rocks crumble. This is complete nonsense.

22. One of the most tacit things we do is that I don't contact you and you don't contact me. Finally, we really became strangers.

23. I am online, then you are online, then you are invisible, then I am invisible, then you are online, I get it.

24. In order to wait for you, I missed the person waiting for me.

25. There is a fate called love at first sight, a feeling called once owned, an ending called destiny takes a hand, and a heartache called endless.

26. I heard that people who are used to being invisible have a scar …

27. The desolation of a place is full of sadness you give …

28. Memory is like water poured in the palm of your hand. Whether you spread it out or hold it tightly, it will eventually flow through your fingers, drop by drop.

29. There is no legend that the grass grows and the warbler flies in this city. It will always live in reality, with fast drums, hurried figures, numb eyes and fake smiles, and I am being assimilated.

I am approaching my dream step by step. Even if it is broken, I will try my best to save it and exchange it with everything I have.

3 1. When I shed tears, you shed tears. I don't think you are as lonely as me. When I smile, you are still crying. So you are lonelier than me.

32. Please cherish the people around you who love you silently. Maybe, one day he really left. You will find that it is you, not him, who can't live without each other.

33. After all, I had a dream when I was awake, but I didn't regret it. I used a switch to look back at you. I am willing to sink into the mire of love in my life. You are at the end of the world, and I will go to the ends of the earth …

34. Who is a passer-by in his life, who is the wheel of his life, the dust of past lives, the wind of this life, and the soul of endless sadness. In the end, no one belongs to anyone.

35. When wild animals are injured, they can run to the cave to hide, then lick the wound and stick to it, but once asked, they can't stand it.

One day I will walk away from you quietly, without any sound.

37. The most tiring thing in this world is to watch your heart break and have to glue it up by yourself.

38. Those who are willing will be willing, and those who are not used to it will get used to it.

I don't know what to say to you when you are online. When you logged off, I regretted not saying anything to you.

Heartbreaking mood phrases

First, we can be disappointed, but not blindly.

Second, what you once gave, called love, has long since vanished.

It seems that they never say goodbye formally. And every time is farewell.

Fourth, the beauty is innocent, just too beautiful.

5. Look at the flowers in front of the court, don't be surprised by honor or disgrace, look up at the sky, and have no intention to stay.

Sixth, the cherished promise of loving each other for a lifetime has instantly become a brand to commemorate sadness.

7. Forgiveness and forgiveness don't mean forgetting or forgiving, but letting yourself live. Loneliness is not whether you have friends, but whether you have people in your heart.

8. Missing is a happy sadness, a sweet melancholy and a warm pain; Missing is a long precipitation of yesterday and a yearning for a better future.

Nine, I will love myself, I swear, it doesn't matter, the sky is falling, I will carry it myself.

Ten, it's snowing outside the window, make a cup of coffee and hold it until it gets cold, then I know I'm thinking about you again. How can you understand my expectations!

Eleven, we know each other from acquaintance, from love to mutual harm.

Twelve, falling into the water and touching the flowers, the flowers are unintentionally crushed into a dark dream that locks the autumn, which enriches the clouds of the past and leaves a pool of sorrow. Misty rain can't pass the world of mortals, and I can't look forward to the sadness of the past. I only sit by the window and invite the bright moon, and I will scatter my death time on earth with clear songs.

Thirteen, youth remains the same, but my heart has long since left the world of mortals and turned into a water lily. You came, I smiled without a word, and you left, but I was pale but not surprised.

Fourteen, weak. Always interpret sadness as being displaced.

Fifteen, everyone's life, there will be some traces engraved in the heart, it is difficult to erase; There are always some past events that can't be let go.

Sixteen, our love has faded away.

17. There are many things in life that are doomed to be unsatisfactory. When someone comes in, someone leaves, just like when youth passes, it takes away laughter and leaves a sigh.

Eighteen, there is a kind of love, obviously deep love, but I can't say it; There is a kind of love that obviously wants to give up, but can't give up; There is a kind of love, knowing it is suffering, but? Do not open it; There is a kind of love, knowing that there is no way out, but the heart can't be redeemed.

Nineteen, this is really cruel, but I have to admit, although it hurts.

What makes me sad is not that I am still alone, but that you are two people now.

Twenty-one, remember, one rainy day, you said you would love me very much, and now it rains again, taking away all our vows.

Twenty-two, you say this life is, this life is still, next life.