There is a kind of love called letting go, but it is very difficult for divorced men who miss their ex-wife. Why?

Falling in love with someone is easy, and it is a kind of harvest, always accompanied by joy. If the person you love doesn't love you, although you are sad, time will slowly make you forget that person. And if the person you love loves you, you have entered her world and she has entered your heart. If you finally part, it is not only sad, but also unforgettable. Of course, if you want to forget, it is not impossible, but many people don't want to forget and will always remember.

Love a person, whether it is love or marriage, it is easy to form a habit, it is easy to form a mindset, and this thing is easy to be deeply rooted in the heart. If you can't manage your emotions and your thoughts, you will miss them after a breakup or divorce.

After breaking up, people miss their predecessors, and after divorce, people miss their ex-wives. Although sometimes it seems very melodramatic, if you love with your heart and have experienced unforgettable love, you will, and you will unconsciously fall into such an atmosphere.

"There is a kind of love called letting go, but I can't do it!"

When I went out to eat at night, Xiao Wu called me, "Lin Dong, it seems that I want to talk to you for a drink! If only you were still in Kunshan! "

Ask him what's wrong. At first, he just said he wanted to drink, and he was bored alone. But after a pause for a few seconds, he said, "I'll send you a WeChat! Some things I can't say! "

While eating, he sent a message to WeChat, "I miss my ex-wife again. What should I do? I know there is a kind of love called letting go, but I just can't do it! "

This is not the first time he has said this to me. He seems to have lost his memory and always says something similar. Anyway, it means that he still misses his ex-wife.

I asked him, "What year is this after your divorce? It seems like six years! "

He corrected me and said, "It was six years, four months and three days!" "

I didn't say anything, "Why are you still thinking about your ex-wife after all this time?" Because it doesn't work for him. I wasted too much time talking.

I asked him, "What if I can't let it go? You can't keep doing this! "

He said: "I know I can't go on like this, but I just can't let go." Alas, I don't know what to say. I'm particularly sad if it doesn't rain like this. There is a kind of love called letting go, which is really difficult for divorced men who miss their ex-wives. "

Then, he began to review their past, their life after divorce and the time I spent with them. Next, let me tell his story!

"It's hard not to bother yourself after divorce!"

20 1 1 In August, I went to Kunshan. I mentioned in my last article that when I graduated, I was as confused about the future as a fool. I know nothing and I don't know what to do. I always run around like a headless fly, so I went there because I was short of money. At that time, although I didn't do assembly line in the factory, I dealt with the factory every day. In this process, I got to know Xiaowu.

Actually, not much, just about the same age. Compared with others, I can say a lot. When I am free, I will go for a drink and play together.

At that time, he and his girlfriend Xiao Zhao had been in love for many years. They went to Kunshan a long time ago. By the time I went, they had arranged to get married. However, they will not discuss marriage openly, because Xiao Zhao's parents don't agree that they are together without their parents' consent. And Xiao Zhao is very headstrong, just want to be with Xiaowu. Xiaowu mentioned marrying her, and she accepted.

Xiaowu thinks that since Xiao Zhao's parents don't agree, since she loves herself so much, there is no need to go home for a wedding. Just get married in other places. Anyway, after a long time, after having children, everything is a foregone conclusion, and it is not too late to reissue the wedding.

They didn't just talk, they really did. When they invited me to dinner, they also showed me their marriage certificate. I really admired their courage at that time.

After staying there for half a year, I left and went to Shanghai after the Chinese New Year. They went to Shanghai to look for me once, and after that, although they had contact, the chances of meeting each other were less. I thought their marriage would gradually become a foregone conclusion with the consent of the woman's parents, as Xiaowu said, but things did not develop in this direction. Half a year later, I heard the news of their divorce.

The reason for the divorce is that their private marriage was known to Xiao Zhao's parents, while Xiao Zhao's parents originally opposed their being together. They thought that Xiao Zhao had broken up with him, but they still secretly stayed with him, and even got the certificate behind his parents' back. Her parents were very angry and went straight to Kunshan to ask them for a divorce. Xiaowu begged and was forced to divorce. When they parted, the two men cried bitterly. At that time, the last sentence that Xiao Zhao said to Xiaowu was, "There is a kind of love called letting go and forgetting me!"

After that, the two lost contact. What happened after Xiao Zhao? Xiaowu doesn't know, and of course I don't know. I only know that since then, Xiaowu has been telling me how sad and painful he is, and he can't let go of Xiao Zhao. I comforted him and enlightened him in various ways, but he didn't listen at all. He didn't want to let go, so there was nothing he could do.

I thought that everything would gradually return to normal as time went on, but he still missed his ex-wife. Although you won't complain to me so often in the next few years, there will always be so many times a year.

After repeating it from beginning to end, he said: "After the divorce, it is easy not to disturb the ex-wife, just cut off contact. However, it is difficult not to disturb yourself. I don't want to think or read, but I can't control my thoughts. I always think and always read, just like being possessed. "

Feelings, sometimes make a person, sometimes destroy a person. People trapped by love will never feel better. But do you have to let yourself be trapped by love? You can live in different states!

Every time I say this, those who are trapped by love will say to me, "I know what you mean, but I just can't do it!" " "

I can only say that you don't understand me at all. People's thoughts and emotions can be self-managed and controlled. If you say you can't do it, just don't do it yourself. If you don't even try, you can't do it. Then stop doing it and continue to suffer!

Some people say that I tried, but it was painful. This is very painful. When a person tries to manage his emotions and thoughts for the first time, he will go through a very painful stage, because you have to break the mindset, break through many inherent habits and concepts, and even break through secular control. Without a persistent heart, you will give up halfway. If you give up halfway, you will return to a state where your emotions and thoughts are out of control, and then you can only continue to suffer.

I still hope that those who are trapped by love can try to manage their emotions and thoughts. Although divorce or divorce will make you unconsciously enter that painful state, the pain is real, you can feel it, and you want to get rid of it after a long time. Since you want to get rid of it, you have to take action. Specific how to manage their emotions and thoughts, I give the simplest example, take Xiaowu as an example:

When you miss your ex-wife, don't you realize that you are thinking about your ex-wife? I'm sure you can realize. If you enjoy this yearning, you don't need to control it. If you think it is painful for you, do you have to miss it all the time? You can stop, think about other things and do other things. Do it again if you can do it once. With more times, you will gradually know how to manage your emotions and thoughts.

Thinking or not, in fact, between a thought, depends entirely on your own choice of thinking or not. Many people don't admit this, in fact, they are too timid to admit this fact, because it goes against your mentality of growing up. But in fact, you just can control yourself to think or not to think. In fact, not only people who are trapped by love after breaking up or divorce, everyone can try. You can master this ability, which will help you in all aspects of your life and save you a lot of trouble.