About life and death-what kind of experience is it to send away one family member by hand?

Do you believe in fate? What do you think of life and death? How should you face when your relatives leave you one by one? Especially what kind of experience is it to send your loved ones away by hand?

Some people think this topic is too heavy, but I think it is a natural law, and everyone has to face it, but you are not yet a certain age.

I often ask myself: Is there life or death? Is there really reincarnation? Did people go to heaven or hell after death? Do people have souls? This may be related to my experience in recent years. During the four years from 20 1 1 to 20 14, I personally sent off four close relatives, my eldest brother, my sister, my mother and my father. Parents have only been away from some relatives around them for more than three months.

In fact, to truly face the ugly face of death, we need to go further. An ordinary day in mid-March 2008. I suddenly got a call from my son saying that my second uncle (my husband's eldest brother) had a heart attack and was rescued in the hospital. My husband and I took a taxi to the hospital and rushed to the rescue room. We saw the doctor taking out all kinds of rescue equipment from him. The secretary's uncle was lying flat, his trousers were wet, and the sister-in-law next to him was crying. This is the first time I have faced death. Although I can't say how scared I am, the whole person is like a fool, standing speechless.

Human life is really fragile. In the blink of an eye, a big, energetic man was gone. When he left, he was only 56 years old, leaving his wife and unmarried daughter, as well as his parents who were over 80 years old and had white hair. The white-haired people sent the black-haired people. ...

2011Brother Yue also left after suffering from liver disease for many years. In fact, eldest brother is the luckiest of our four brothers and sisters. He has never been to the countryside, and he worked directly in the telecommunications bureau after graduating from junior high school (telecommunications and postal services were not separated at that time). You know, in the 1970 s, being hired by such a good company had to go through layers of screening, as well as political review, and check the immediate family members around the three generations of grandparents and grandchildren. This is a good opportunity that many people dream of but never meet. The eldest brother also lived up to expectations, starting from the original postman and taking the leadership position. In terms of face value, big brother is also the highest, tall and straight, and in terms of economic conditions, big brother is also the best. And he already has a lovely grandson, which is the time to enjoy family happiness.

It may be inherited in the family (my mother and my brothers and sisters have poor liver function), or it may be related to their usual living habits. My eldest brother has had physical problems since he was in his fifties. He has been sick at home and suffered from liver disease for many years. In the last few months of his life, I went to chat with him as soon as I was free, and recalled the interesting things and past events of our childhood together.

In the last two months, he has basically lived in the hospital. On his deathbed, I watched him lying thin in the hospital bed, his face yellow, his stomach swollen (liver ascites), talking with his eyes closed, faint, and answering irrelevant questions. I want to cry every time I go to see it. After all, brotherhood is deep and blood is thicker than water. He is my mother, my closest relative and my beloved brother. My mother was also in the hospital (not in the same hospital) those days. One day, she offered to see her son, and we took her. Mother and son are holding hands, speechless. I ran into the corridor, trying not to cry. This is perhaps the most cruel scene in the world. The 80-year-old mother faced her dying son ... worried that her mother could not bear the stimulation, so we sent her back to the hospital. Eldest brother was only 59 when he left. He has worked hard for decades and has no time to enjoy a pension. Taking care of his affairs, sorting out his relics, looking at things and thinking about people can't help but burst into tears.

20 13 1 1 My sister left at the age of 66, too. She is disabled. I'm going to write an article specially for her.

Next, I will focus on my parents. My mother is a competitive, intelligent and capable person, and she is also very strong. She is the owner of her own house without compromise. I can write another article about the influence of her personality on my growing experience.

In the summer of 2006, I was at my daughter's house in other places, taking care of her confinement. My brother called and said that my mother's lungs might not be very good. I immediately packed my bags and rushed back to my hometown. After further examination, it was diagnosed as advanced lung cancer. Fortunately, I found it early. My mother was 79 years old that year. Then there are a series of trips, such as hospitalization, contacting the surgeon and surgery. It was also July, the hottest weather of the year. After the operation, my mother stayed in the hospital for more than forty days, during which only my brother and sister-in-law came to change for a few days, and the rest were with her. After leaving the hospital and going home, I recovered well. My mother is also a person who does not admit defeat and does not bow to fate. My father has been suffering from emphysema for many years, and he can't breathe when it's cold, and my disabled sister, and my mother always says that she can't leave and should take care of them alive. I used to help take care of them when I was free, but I am old and weak, and I have grandchildren to take care of at home. I was so tired that after consulting my brothers, I hired a nanny for them.

In 2009, the tumor spread and the condition deteriorated, and he was treated with gamma knife in foreign hospitals. During the 2 1 day of three courses of treatment, I also accompanied her in the hospital and ran between the hospital and home. Especially the death of 20 1 1 eldest brother was a heavy blow, which made the mother's condition take a turn for the worse. In the next three days, I went to the hospital at both ends, either giving injections or prescribing Chinese medicine to change prescriptions. If I go to the hospital, even my father will be sent to the hospital, and the same ward will be taken care of by a nanny, so I can also run one less place. Looking back now, it was my most difficult time. I have to take care of my own family. Send your grandson to school in the morning and then go to the hospital to accompany your parents, or cook some meals for your husband to send. I really want to have three heads and six arms, but I am helpless.

In this way, 20 14, just after the Spring Festival, there are still many days before Tomb-Sweeping Day. I don't know if I know that my time is running out, or for what reason, my mother proposed to go back to my hometown to see. Because of my mother's physical condition, I haven't taken her back to Qingming to sweep the grave for several years. At that time, she could hardly walk, and she could only barely walk a few steps with crutches. My son drove me and my mother, stuffed them into a wheelchair in the trunk, and accompanied her back to her hometown to visit my aunt, fulfilling a wish before she left.

One day at the end of April, my mother suddenly offered to stay at my house for a while. I added a bed in front of my bed, stayed with her in the morning and evening, and cooked delicious food for her every day. I thought I could take this opportunity to spend more time with her and give myself one last chance to be filial to repay my parents' kindness. Unexpectedly, something unexpected happened. On the seventh day, just after dinner, I was still busy cleaning the kitchen when I heard my husband shouting. I hurried to the room and saw my mother's eyes turned up, her mouth turned white and she was unconscious. I quickly called an ambulance and then called my son. After being sent to the hospital, I was diagnosed as a sudden attack caused by tumor pressing on the brain. After that, my mother couldn't even speak clearly. Go to the hospital with them every day, watch my parents' swollen hands get intravenous drip, and watch my mother stare at you but can't speak; Call dad, but sometimes he is awake and confused, and his answers are incoherent. My heart is as painful as a knife.

In this way, until July, my mother's life came to an end. From diagnosis to death, my mother persisted for eight years with her persistence in life and her reluctance to her loved ones. Even the doctor said it was a miracle. It is rare for patients with advanced lung cancer to live for so many years. My dad hasn't come back from the hospital since mom left. More than three months later, my father died. From then on, in my family, in this world, it was just me and my brother.

When my mother left, my father was in the same ward, and there was only one curtain between the two beds. We were afraid of provoking his old man's house and didn't dare to make a scene, but dad didn't respond, and I don't know if he was confused or awake at that time. I thought that my closest relative had left, and I couldn't help crying, which was very painful. Maybe my tears have dried up, maybe I have seen enough of my mother's pain in recent years, maybe it is not the time for me to cry, and there are still many things to deal with. At that time, I was surprisingly calm and sober, scrubbing their bodies with the nanny and putting on the shroud that had already been prepared. The following funerals were all arranged by myself. I was calm and orderly. According to local customs, there are many etiquette rules so that my parents can rest in peace. When I left, my mother was 87 and my father was 89. Although I have been ill for many years, I am old.

Every time I think about this, I can't help but sigh the ruthlessness of time, the helplessness of life and the fragility of life.

In recent years, my aunt's family has left three cousins one after another. My aunt and uncle are cousins and are married. They may be inherited. All five children were in poor health and were not very old when they left. Now it's just my eldest cousin and a cousin my age.

Before my parents died, my aunt died of pancreatic cancer. My sister-in-law is my mother's cousin. She graduated from a medical university in Shanghai in the 1950s, worked in a big hospital in Shanghai, and then transferred to the largest hospital in her hometown. She used to be the vice president of the hospital, and she is a famous expert doctor of cardiovascular diseases in the hospital. After retirement, I often go out to give lectures, or give health care classes to universities for the elderly. It was only two years since I was diagnosed with illness and died. Before my death, my predecessors were all thin and completely different from my previous intellectual elegance. My uncle, a retired cadre, died of illness two years ago with a high salary. Both of them were over 80 years old when they left. Although they are old, they could have taken advantage of their family to live longer if it weren't for their illness.

Maybe I watched life and death too much, but now I'm more resigned. I believe in fate more and more, and feel that many things in a person's life are predestined. Otherwise, why do some people have so much money and have a smooth life without much work? And some people can only eat and wear after a lifetime of hard work, and some people are poor and have a rough life. How else to explain life? People are so small in the long river of life.

I personally sent away my relatives. Think about those years, I almost ran between hospitals, funeral homes and cemeteries. Out of gloomy mood, from the experience of dealing with death many times over the years, I have the following experiences, which I hope is also a reminder to everyone. Continuing to live well is the best mourning for the deceased:

1, cherish when you are alive.

Cherish health, develop good living habits and try to stay away from diseases. Cherish your family and cherish all the people and things around you. My parents-in-law are 92 and 90 years old respectively, and we get along very well. Although we don't live together, my husband and I often visit them and make them something they like to eat. With the approaching of old age, I have stepped into the ranks of the elderly myself. Being kind to others is being kind to yourself. I have to be filial as soon as possible, so as not to leave the regret of not being with me when I want to raise a child!

2. Have a good attitude.

Don't haggle over every ounce, be open-minded and help others as much as possible. Now that I am out of the shadow of depression, I fully realize that I am open to many things, and I am trying to change myself and make my future life more exciting. Although I don't have any special skills, I joined a volunteer team and tried my best to help others and be happy.

If you want to do something, you should do it at once.

Regardless of age, opportunities always favor those who dare to try. If you have a dream, you should put it into action, so that there will be no regrets. Just like my own personal experience, I have been eager to write and publish articles for many years. After I came into contact with this platform with my daughter's recommendation and help, if I don't try this platform boldly, I will still achieve nothing and fail to realize this dream, and I may regret it for life. For details about how I started writing, please refer to my other article "Writing is actually not difficult".

First of all, I want to thank this platform and the editors of various columns for giving me the opportunity to complete my dream of writing at the age of 70 (I used to be 70, but now I am 70, so I should learn more from young people)! I also want to thank all the teachers, predecessors and simple friends for their concern and love, as well as their encouragement and support! thank you