Boss, don't talk to me about standard-funny space.

Women are not onions, men are not ginger, and fate is not Chili, but it has become a bowl of soup.

A smart woman will marry a man who loves her. A stupid woman will marry the man she loves.

After every disaster, some officials will get rich. The Yushu earthquake in Qinghai is no exception.

When we look back on life, don't always feel wronged written on our faces.

If you are destined not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance.

For some people, shopping malls are battlefields, love fields are money fields, fate is casinos, and life is playgrounds.

Girls like men who play guitar because they create poems; Women like men who play with cotton because they create benefits.

People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

The difficulty of marriage is that we fall in love with each other's advantages, but live with her shortcomings.

Work every year, worry every year, work overtime every day like a monkey, work overtime without pay, and be scolded for no reason every day.

The EU constantly accuses China of failing to crack down on piracy, because there are only seven Ferraris in China, and the global limit is six.

Life is only three days, and people who live in yesterday are confused; Those who live in tomorrow wait; People who live in the present are the most practical.

There is always a gap between ideal and reality. Fortunately, there is still a gap. Otherwise, who wants ideals?

Looking at beautiful women in the street, looking up is appreciation, looking down is hooliganism.

Disabled people like Yang can get a little dragon girl, but people with healthy arms like me can't get it now.

Travel is to go from where you are tired to where others are tired.

On September 1 day more than ten years ago, I walked into the school with a small schoolbag on my back, and since then I have embarked on a road of no return.

Aunt, see you at heartbroken cliff in 16. Don't forget to send me a message then!

Disciple asked: How to distinguish frogs from toads? Master replied solemnly: I'm sorry about the appearance of toad.

Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but smiling with tears in your eyes.

I don't know much about music, so sometimes I'm unreliable and sometimes I'm out of tune.

No news can be believed until it is officially denied.

I have become an immortal, please smoke if you have anything to do. Buddha said that smoke without fire can't be a positive result, and smoke without fire can't be a fairy.

People always want to let ghosts and gods know when they do good things, but they always feel that ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We embarrassed ghosts and gods.

I don't have to be you. You don't have to be me. What a misunderstanding.

People say things and fart. Talking is like farting, and it's just a breath.

So shameless and heartless, your weight should be very light.

The affection between two people is like a knitted sweater, long and thin. Just pull it gently when you remove it.

There are two tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want, and the other is getting what you don't want.

A woman has secrets and always wants to share them with her man. Men have secrets, and women always force them to share them with him.

Learn English. Learn what? Learn English. See which of the nine Standing Committee members graduated from English major. There is no future in learning English.

Boss, don't talk to me about standards, because my salary is not up to standard!

After seeing me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded.

In fact, I am handsome from one angle, but you didn't notice it.

Since both prostitutes claim to be graduates of famous universities, I now generally claim to be illiterate!

In class, the teachers only targeted at me. I want to say: handsome! Is it necessary?

Please God let me win 5 million every day. Yesterday, he told me in his dream that you should buy a lottery ticket every day.

It is easy to call a wife, but it is not difficult to call a wife, but calling an old woman is a lifelong commitment!

You are beautiful, but among us handsome guys, it's not your turn.

When the boss uses you, you are a talent, and when you are not used, you become a layoff!

Life is like a jar. People get drunk when they are immersed in it.

People who respect others will always respect others. Today, when the world is getting worse, this virtue can only be seen in the banquet hall.

You are so fond of taking advantage, if you take someone else's real hand short, you will be paralyzed long ago!

Hope: I like people don't get involved. More hope: people who don't like to fuck off.

There is geometry in life, so why study it? Have you studied geometry? Don't learn geometry and geometry! !

Talk about the hottest breakup; Don't talk to me about feelings, it hurts money.

1, is there such a person, you have said to give up countless times, but still reluctant to go?

2. Plant you in a flowerpot to let you know what vegetables are!

3. I want to be a female hooligan in thought, a good girl in life, a gentle girl in appearance and a transformer in psychology.

4. No matter how high the level is, I am also afraid of kitchen knives; Wear whatever you hang, brick by brick.

I never said I was yours, everyone was his own.

No matter how much water you drink, you won't feel lonely.

7. Life is often like this. The hope you think is actually the despair that makes you fall deeper; And you think endless despair, in fact, there is hope in a corner.

8. Smoking is an art of life; Looking for a cigarette is an attitude towards life.

9. I like you because I am blind; You don't appreciate it, because you are blind.

10. It is not necessarily a virgin who cries and hurts, but a bitch who seduces a man.

1 1. From now on, please seriously forget what you have done, and then make up for what you missed with your heart. You want to live a more wonderful life, and you want others to look at you wonderfully and envy you, instead of just paying attention to other people's happiness.

12. If the sky is affectionate, the sky is old and women are sentimental and die young.

13. Don't say that you will miss it after you leave; Anyway, we are still friends after breaking up.

14. If you can't bear it, you can bear it again.

15. Don't be an episode in my life, whether it's friendship or love.

16. Don't talk to me about feelings, it will hurt more money.

17. Take the initiative to talk to you, chat with you, send you short messages, and cherish those who are still talking after you say "hmm", because no one will be full of ink with someone who doesn't care.

18. Don't listen to things outside the window, just watch soap operas.

19. When you lie to her, your eyes can be a little fake, and then a little fake.

20. Go your own way and let the cat and dog talk.

Classic funny quotations, don't talk to me about feelings, it will hurt more money.

1, the crowd looked for him, looked up and saw him flying in the sky ... a bird man!

I never hold grudges, but I usually report them on the spot.

I don't ignore you, I don't ignore you, I don't care about you, and I don't look down on you. In fact, I have already ignored you.

I have many shortcomings, and I am distressed enough. Please don't remind me at any time.

5. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

6. Grandpa comes from his grandson ...

7. If you get married, marry someone else first, then marry me, and take his savings to lead his sister to drive that BMW.

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

9. It may seem so, but not necessarily.

10, before, take off your underwear and look at your ass; Now, take out your ass and look at your underwear. Because of the thong I'm wearing

1 1. Summer is coming and the weather is very hot. A group of idiots flew north, one minute in S, the other minute in B. ...

12, live and die. ...

13, I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

14. If every girlfriend uses a word instead, my love story can be written into a novel.

15. The cashier said there was no change. Here are two plastic bags for you!

16, I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

17, don't talk to me about feelings, it will hurt more money!

18, everyone says I'm an actor, because my eyes roll at the sight of beautiful mm. ...

19. When I grow up, I want to marry Tang Yan as my husband. If I want to play, I can eat him, if I don't want to play.

20. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

2 1, if you were a flower, cows wouldn't dare to shit in the future!

22. I fool around with mice every day to rest dogs and cats. This is also a sign of caring for small animals.

23. Recalling past feelings is like drinking Leng Cha. Even if you just soak for a while, it will taste overnight.

24, there are many women, while saying that men have no good things, while saying that my mother wants TM to be a man, how many girls are spoiled.

25. It's really hard to find the same kind, but there are many similarities.

26. How did you come into this world? Your father is not like that either.

27. Hello, everyone. As the ugliest rich woman in the world, my secret to getting rich is to hold a man in the street and say, "Either you marry me or you give me 50 yuan."

28. There are too many pleasantries, and the thickness of the face is obviously not enough.

29. Girl, please look in the mirror. It's clothes, not facial features, that match well.

30. Husband, you should work hard to earn money. Money can't be so little that we have to worry about our livelihood all day, just like we don't need other charming women to spend.

3 1. When you introduce me to new friends, please hug my waist and don't stand by and point at me.

When I feel unwell, you should dress up as a doctor, touch my forehead, take my temperature, and then send me to a real doctor for medicine and injection.

33. My life has a side and a side, and so does yours.

34. I curse you for buying instant noodles without seasoning all your life!

Talk about the characteristics of domineering. Don't talk to me about life. You weren't born.

First, indifference does not mean forgetting, but it must be alienated.

Second, when I first met you, I didn't know that I would like you so much at present.

I threw it away, and now I have nothing. I have no regrets. I want to pursue the happiness I want Old age is the reason for my struggle, because it is what I want.

Fourth, trust is like a piece of paper. It's wrinkled, even if it's smoothed, it can't be restored.

You ruined me now, and I will ruin you later, no matter who you are.

Sixth, the person who accompanied us to the initial stage was not the unforgettable person, but the most suitable person.

7. I want what I like, no matter how ugly. What I don't like, no matter how beautiful or handsome.

Eight, I hate people I don't know joking with me, and I hate people I know joking with me.

I don't like people touching my things, my people.

Your world is so vast. Where am I?

Eleven, is there anyone like me who is so badly hurt just to get a weight?

Teachers always say that our dream is to go to college, but our dream is to be a master.

Never mind that people who don't understand you criticize you. Dogs only bark at people they don't think.

Thirteen, the happiest time for a group is to find the right person, who will accommodate your habits and love everything about you!

We broke up, but we still love each other. We can't get back together, we can only live in peace!

-In a previous life, you must have suddenly turned around and died with a broken neck.

15. The person who kneels in the crowd to tie your shoelaces must be the one who deserves your love, because you don't need to face in front of true love.

Sixteen, you are just a substitute for a group I forgot, and now I want to find a new person to replace you. -Zhang (original)

I don't like automation because I'm afraid it will turn into narcissism at first.

It's not that I have no temper, I'm just scared.

Nineteen, fireworks are only a moment of beauty, and love words are just betrayal.

Don't scold me casually, I'm afraid you'll be struck by lightning.

Don't talk to me about life, you are not born.

-I want dark circles all night because I can't afford eyeliner.

Twenty-two, don't hold too prosperous dreams.

Twenty-three, in this impatient society, it is better to be smart than to play dumb.

Come to your space and see how sweet your writing is. I only regret that it has something to do with me.

25. Because you are the person I love, I will believe everything you say.

Y: I still dare not mention you or miss you. I'm afraid my memory will be too congested. ]

Twenty-seven, the furthest distance in the world is not love, not hate, but familiar people, gradually becoming strangers.

Twenty-eight, [the three words that make people cry most easily are don't cry]

29. [Suspicion turns all concerns into ulterior motives]

Be yourself, don't change for him.

Thirty-one, you can be proud, but you have to give face ~

Thirty-two, wait for my sister's long hair to reach her waist, and watch me surrender to mathematics and physics.

I want to talk about a vigorous love and a beautiful death.

Love is a lamp that never dims. Love is a lamp that never dims.

35. When you don't reply, I always feel that you are having a long talk.

Thirty-six, [who can love me for no reason and tolerate me without preconditions]

I don't like automation because I'm afraid it will turn into narcissism at first. ]

Because you are here, I will smile warmly.

I'll walk with you in the dark, but don't shake hands with me when there is light.

Forty, I boast of any kindness you have shown me.

Forty-one, I didn't cry, I just emptied my head of water.

Camel won't cry, because it knows the value of water, and I won't cry, because I know the falsehood of love-

43. I like your cold attitude. In the face of my little moves, I speak quickly and accompany you shopping to buy clothes.

44. I hope that at my funeral, an enemy can tell me my life.

I just want what I want, that's all.

I am not afraid of waiting, getting old and dying. I'm not afraid of anything. I am afraid that the person I like will fall in love with someone else.

I heard that when you love a group too much, the group doesn't love you.

47. If I turn into a memory and join this life, leaving you crying in amazement, my cold body can't hug you.

Forty-eight, indifference and depression hoarseness take care.

Forty-nine, [I'm still dreaming that persistent dream for you, I just hope you don't forget my appearance]

Who cares about my feelings, treats me meekly, kisses me and touches my wounds?

Fifty-one, [you can overturn many ideas I thought before in an instant]

Fifty-two, the person who cares most suddenly changed his tune.