Why are daughters not allowed to go to the graves of their dead parents in some places? Is it son preference?

I come from Cangzhou, Hebei. Not in my family, nor have I heard of it.

All parties have their own customs, which have nothing to do with son preference. It is best to respect customs and habits. [Pray] [Pray] [Pray]

It seems that the north has always been like this.

In the south, there is no such thing. If the old man dies, on every anniversary of his death, such as the first anniversary, or the tenth or twentieth anniversary, his children will get together to bury the old man who died, burn paper money and offerings, especially for their daughters, and invite people to make paper shroud and paper household appliances to burn on the grave.

This is the case here in Zibo, Shandong. It is not a preference for boys, but a custom. It seems that my daughter is visiting the grave, and there is no one at home. It probably means that it is not good for future generations for a married daughter to go back to her mother's house to visit the grave. Therefore, unmarried daughters usually go back to their parents' homes to visit their graves. Unless the other end of their families is married, they can follow. Tell me more about my family. My parents have no son, son-in-law, my mother died, and my sisters come to visit the grave every day, which annoys me and makes my sisters speechless!

It's impossible! How can there be such a place?

The story happened in a remote mountain area here. Many years ago, I attended my friend Xiao Zhang's funeral at the invitation of her mother, but since then, I have never seen Xiao Zhang go back to visit his parents' graves. Now that 20 years have passed, Xiao Zhang has only been to the scene on the day when her mother was buried, which makes me feel a little puzzled.

Driven by curiosity, I wanted to find a time to ask Xiao Zhang why, but I was worried that it would hurt Xiao Zhang's pain, so I had to give up. Later, I met Xiao Zhang's hometown Xiao Zhao in the city. After the chat, I asked the reason in detail.

Xiao Zhao told me that their place is remote, the traffic is blocked, and many people's feudal thoughts are still very serious, so their daughters are not allowed to go to the graves of their deceased parents for three main reasons:

The first is stereotype. Generally speaking, once a bad habit is formed, it will become a natural habit. It is difficult to change, and it takes more time and the courage of a strong man to break his wrist. Xiao Zhang, who is relatively closed and backward here, has always developed the habit that his daughter can't go to the grave of her deceased parents, and no one dares to break it easily.

Second, son preference. Daughter is the spilled water, and man is the master who continues the incense. In Xiao Zhang's family, the idea of son preference is still very serious. It is a son's business to make sacrifices to his deceased parents. There is only one situation where a daughter can attend, and that is, there is no son at home. If there is a son in the family, it is undoubtedly a "shame on the son's skin" to let the daughter participate.

The third is that the distance is too far. Xiao Zhang has worked in the city for a long time, which is more than 300 kilometers away from his hometown. It's also a long way to go to mother's grave And now many places advocate green sacrifice. Xiao Zhang has worked in the city for many years and his mind is relatively open. This basic quality is still there. Whether to go or not is just a formality, as long as he has made up his mind.

Xiao Zhao told me that things are impermanent. This rule was made many years ago. Now that their economy has developed, people's minds are also changing quietly. Now, they have the same boys and girls. Maybe a family with a daughter is happier.

Obviously,

What world? Isn't it your parents' daughter when you get married? What's wrong with a daughter sweeping her parents' graves on holidays? If so, do you need this daughter's help in case of any difficulties?

We don't allow it here. My daughter went to the grave and there was no one at home.