Selection of funny dialogue jokes

Recently, friends around me are very fond of reading funny dialogue jokes. I specially compiled a selection of funny dialogue jokes and found that they are really good. I would like to share them with you. I hope you will like them.

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A collection of funny dialogue jokes

1. Niu said that you should be my alarm clock from now on and wake me up every day. I said yes. , I am willing to help, the girl said again, I make an alarm sometimes. When I don’t remember it and it gets annoying, I will throw it away far away...

2. Xiaohua After the cat and puppy got along, they ignored the piggy. The little pig couldn't figure it out, so he asked the little cat: "Looking at its slovenly appearance, why did you fall in love with it?" The little cat: "It's not popular to dye your hair long now, so why do you still have straight hair? It looks boring." !?

3. Thousand-Hand Guanyin said to Venus: Dear, let’s make a bet, shall we? Venus smiled and said: Okay, what if we lose? Guanyin He sneered: "Then let's slap him!"

4. There was a fire, the parents escaped, and the mother shouted: "Son, why are you wearing socks? Why are you wearing socks when there is a fire? After a while, mother Angry: "Still not coming out yet" Son: "I'm taking off my socks." ?

5. Lao Zhang loves to get stuck when talking. One day, a colleague joked with him: "Hey! Lao Zhang, you learn to quack like a duck, and I will let you eat watermelon." Lao Zhang: I won’t eat your watermelon, quack! quack! quack! I won’t imitate a duck’s croak either. ?

6. I am a low-key person. Really, I have told many people, but some people still don’t believe it. I sent this text message because I want to reiterate that I am a low-key person and waste a little more of your energy by the way.

7. The boss yelled at a new employee: Not only were you late, but you also made up excuses. Do you know how bosses treat employees who lie? The employee calmly said: Got it? Send him to be a product salesman.

8. Lao Li’s wife was learning to drive, and he was absent from the roadside as a coach. Someone said to him: Wouldn't it be better if you taught her step by step in the car? That's true, Lao Li said, but she and the car are insured, and I haven't!?

9. 1. The young man did not believe in God and asked: Can you make the world peaceful? The God replied: With a little effort. The young man begged: Can you give me a ticket to go home? God said with shame: Let the world be peaceful!

10. The three prisoners were arguing together and wanted to prove that they were the first to come. Prison. The first said that there were no cars when he came in; the second said that people were still riding horses when he came in; the third said what is a horse?

11. Jiangsu people say when they catch a cold: they have a football nose. Very, but you have to go to see basketball, and you have to play volleyball for half a day to register, and the thermometer is very good at ice hockey, and the doctor is very good at water polo. Instead of going there, it is better to play handball at home.

12. Who is stupider than whom? She always says that I am stupid. Because I always step on her feet when we dance. But I think she is stupider than me. Eating is much easier than dancing. But she kept stepping on my feet under the table. Now that I think about it, I am still stupid

13. My wife went to a coffee shop to buy coffee: I want to buy the worst quality one! The clerk asked in confusion: Why do I want the worst quality one? My wife replied angrily: This way you won’t be able to pass it off as a shoddy product!

14. If a foreigner is bitten by a dog, go to the hospital for treatment as soon as possible. The doctor pointed at the wound and asked: How did it happen? Foreigners don’t know Chinese? Bite? How do you say it? He explained: A dog ate on my leg.

15. You have the irresistible charm of mortals (Ferrero Rocher Chocolate). You are the fairy in my eyes. I am willing to follow you all my life without regrets. You will also be the choice of the new generation (Pepsi) , where are you thinking? I mean my Barbie doll, not you!

16. When Xiao Wang saw a beautiful woman, he followed behind him to peek around. Unexpectedly, he was discovered by the beautiful woman. The beautiful woman asked : What do you want to do? Xiao Wang said with a smile: Life is more beautiful, just because of you! Every surprise comes for you again and again! The beauty replied angrily: Kill the mosquitoes.

17. I made a wish in front of the Buddha, hoping to find my perfect match as soon as possible. Who knows that the Buddha said: A happy marriage of a hundred years has been arranged for a long time! I said: It has been arranged for a long time, why is it so late? ?Buddha said: What will happen to the world when human beings lose association? Oh my god, my good match is in imagination! Wow!

18. Holding you in my hand, feel the fragrance of milk and silky feeling? , I have been exercising with you for a long time, and the sweat is on your body? It is fragrant, and it is still lingering? It emanates? It smells so good. What are you thinking about? I am talking about the socks you are wearing. Smelly feet like yours will only smoke away everything. people.

19. "Outside the examination room, a candidate asked the classmate next to him: "Hey, buddy, how was the exam?" The answer was: "It's so refreshing! (Sprite drink)" He replied: "Successful. The road starts from the beginning. (Rejoice Shampoo)"

20. Don't ask me why I sent you a text message. It's too hot. I send you my greetings. Do you need a reason? Well, hello everyone is really good. Greetings text message, you deserve it.

21. My younger brother was born in the Year of the Ox. In the Year of the Ox, he happily said to his family: "I am finally in the year of the Ox!" Grandma asked why, and he was serious. Said: My classmate is one year older than me. When he was 12 years old, he was born in the year of Ox. I am 12 years old this year, so I must be born in Ox!?

22. One day I was singing " "Big Huajiao", "Give me a hug, give me a hug, hold that sister to Huajiao". The neighbor's five-year-old little brother said: "Sister, you are wrong, it should be: give me a hug, give me a hug" Sleeping with that sister in her arms?

23. When a thief snatched a girl's necklace, the girl grabbed the man's collar and tried to stop him. Afterwards, the girl described to the police: He took it away. The necklace is fake. I grabbed his real gold necklace.

24. A couple went to a restaurant to dine. The woman saw that her favorite dishes on the menu were in the high-end section. Question: How much do you love me? My boyfriend looked at the menu and said: More than corned beef, but not grilled lobster!

25. After receiving a report, the Price Bureau came to the bathroom where Baozi opened: Baozi, people Noodles and Dumplings also have bathrooms, why are your prices so high? Baozi said aggrievedly: They are all ordinary bathrooms, but mine has a steam sauna!

26. Traffic accident, two cars were heading towards each other. There was a collision. One of the drivers shouted angrily: Are you blind? The other driver was not willing to be insulted and retorted: Who said that? Didn’t I knock you off?

27 , a friend said to the patient who had just had the operation: How are you? Patient: It's okay, but a piece of gauze was taken out of my stomach the day after the operation, and it was done again yesterday, and suddenly a vibrator was taken out. A nurse asked: Where is my hat?

2. One day, Xiaogang came to a food stall he frequented and saw a food similar to wife cake, but he did not dare to confirm it, so he was timid. I asked the waiter: Auntie, is this a little wife cake?

29. A: My wife read "Brothers" and gave birth to twins. B: My wife read "Three Fires". Gunman", giving birth to triplets. C: Tragic, my wife is reading "Alibaba and the Forty Thieves"

30. When a designer designed a building with circular rooms. When people asked him, what inspired him to do this kind of design? When I was a child, I was often punished by standing in a corner.

31. One day he went to the countryside. I was visiting a friend's house when a sow was giving birth. There were more than ten piglets sucking milk from the sow. My son was very surprised and asked me: Dad, why does the sow have so many teats and why does the mother only have two?

32. My nephew wanted to take possession of everything he saw. One day, I teased him: "What school do you want to go to?" I replied: "I went to two universities, one is Tsinghua University and the other is Tsinghua University." Peking University!? Alexander!

33. When I was a child, I followed my mother to buy flower and bird calligraphy and painting. The painting seller said: What I sell is craftsmanship, and this drawing paper is given to you for free. ?I said: ?Great, uncle, get me ten pieces of drawing paper. ?

34. One day, I was looking at my son’s homework. The content of the homework was “Dad is like” in a sentence. The son wrote: Dad has a fat head and big ears like a pig.

I asked my son why he wrote it like this? The son asked: Doesn’t it look like it?

35. The baby asked his mother: Why does the sky thunder and I am afraid? The mother said: It’s because the children are disobedient and God is angry. . ?Baby:? Then I was angry too, why didn’t there be thunder?

36. I told the baby the story of Kong Rong letting the pear go, and then I asked him, ?Baby, do you think Kong Rong is a good kid? The baby curled his lips and said, "What's good about a silly child?" ?Me

37. Before going to work, I always use mousse to tidy up my hair. When my son saw it, he asked: Dad, what are the benefits of wearing mousse? I answered casually: It looks good. After coming back from get off work, my son happily said to me: Dad, I made our puppy look good. When I saw it, the pet dog turned into a monster.

38. When my son saw that the old lady with bound feet was struggling to walk, he curiously asked: Why do you have to bind your feet? Grandma said: It was like this in the old society. The kind-hearted son gave his grandma some advice: Grandma, you will be able to walk faster when you put on your skates.

39. My wife uses a new perfume. After her husband got off work, the wife said excitedly: "Smell it quickly, is there any different fragrance today? Unexpectedly, her husband rushed into the kitchen and asked: Did you make my favorite braised pork ribs today?

40. A woman went for breast augmentation surgery and asked the doctor how much it would cost. The doctor said: 2,700 yuan. The woman asked: What if I only do one side? The doctor immediately said: 900 yuan. The woman is puzzled: Why do you charge so much? Doctor: Twists and turns!

Selected funny dialogue paragraphs

1. The husband is going to repair his mobile phone, and the wife reminds him: Don’t forget to bring the invoice and warranty. Single charger. Amid his wife's nagging, the husband found all his things before going out. When I arrived at the maintenance department, I discovered that the broken phone was not with me.

2. The hospital had a hanging needle, and the nurse inserted a hanging bottle into the man. More than an hour passed, the suspension bottle was finished, and the nurse came over and replaced it with another bottle. The man asked: Nurse, didn’t you just open one bottle? The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap that had been filled with salt water and said: This bottle has won the prize, let’s get another one!

3. My online name is Niulang. , your online name is Weaver Girl, and every night one of us is on this side of the phone line, and the other is on the other side of the phone line, but I have to say, this is much better than the Milky Way!

4. A certain The teacher imparted inspirational secrets and said that from now on, he should carry a small mirror with him when reading. When he can’t stand reading, he should look at himself in the mirror and say to himself: I have grown up like this, but I still don’t read well!

5. Xiao Ming and his mother won a prize while shopping in the mall. They went to the counter to claim the prize. The person who gave the prize asked if he wanted nine yuan or an apple? Xiao Ming’s mother thought it was natural that she wanted money, so she said she wanted nine yuan. So the man raised his knife and cut the apple into nine pieces.

6. The panda expressed his love to the kangaroo affectionately, but was rejected by the kangaroo. The panda didn't understand and asked: Why? The kangaroo patiently replied: I like people who have a regular life and rest, and I don't like them to stay up late every day...

7. Gray is too cruel Catch the beautiful sheep and make the beautiful sheep's belly bigger. When the red wolf learned about it, he was very angry and used a pan to beat the ash too hard. Hui Tai said aggrievedly: Wife, actually I just want you to eat one more lamb. ?

8. The dog said to the pig: It is better to be a dog, and you will not get the flu in your life. The pig said: Look at how hopeless you are, you will never be on the Animal Forbes list and you will end up in the paparazzi, or at most you will be a presidential bodyguard.

9. The turtle laughed at the weasel and said: "Looking at your sly eyebrows, you will do some sneaky things." ?The Weasel said: ?You should take care of yourself! You wear a cuckold all day long and make fun of others. ?

10. The zoo held a model competition, and the cobra won first place. The elephant was not convinced and said: "I am so plump and you are so thin, you are not even one-fifth of me. I am not convinced."

?Cobra: ?Brother, you are out. Don’t you know that skinny beauty is popular in society now?

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