Are there any funny jokes in the vernacular? It’s going to be long. ．

I have to admit that as the only friendly bridge to communicate with monsters and monsters in the human world, the cultural value of me, the last big boss at the end of this century, has deepened with the increasing number of people. Those men and women who dream of immortality, monsters, ghosts, gods, and gods are the most immature and retarded in their hearts.

People are more afraid of being famous than they are of being strong. Recently, I have been sleeping restlessly, as if twenty years are about to end. So I deeply reflect on what I have done in the past twenty years. Basically, I was able to bully others in front of others, and bark in front of dogs. Be polite to your comrades when eating, and respect your teachers when preaching. Although he lived a relatively miserable life, he won a reputation that will last through the ages. I think I'm not far away from the top spot in the annual Tang Wang Monk Selection Conference.

Sure enough, the King of Tang, a bad guy with nothing to do, insists on holding a "Year-Old Western Recreation Tour" this year. After several highly respected masters of A Xiao and A were selected, they nodded and gave me a gentle look with peaceful eyes: "It's you, Tang Seng."

Reality seemed to shake me. Sent into a deep and deep underworld, alone holding a broken guitar, humming "only you", watching time go back, beauties, money, career, status. They all drifted away in the wind, leaving me with a withered yellow leaf. What was waiting for me was the saliva of the little wild wolf, the feet of the vixen and the lips of the bone monster.

It turns out that there are no absolutes in everything. When I was on the verge of collapse and decided to find a tree to hang myself, a golden-haired monkey pressed down at the foot of the mountain and shouted for help. I casually tore the seal on the mountain. I planned to remove its throat, but the tall mountain actually collapsed in a flash. In an instant, I saw the sun hanging high in the sky tomorrow again, smiling brightly. I hugged the monkey named Wukong, and I told the most unforgettable lie of this century: "They don't want you, I want you."

Later, I met him again at Gaolaozhuang He met a pig who was suffering from passion, and met a strong and powerful mountain carrier in Shahe, who coaxed and coaxed him to get a white horse. It seems that during the second half of the year's leisurely trip to the West, I can really enjoy the sun, do some beauty treatments, and wait to see Tathagata, the Buddha's head.

Hee hee, I am despicable and shameless, but I will be compassionate, dignified in appearance, and make people cry. Who would the Tathagata give me those scriptures to? I don't have any skills, but I can recite the "crying" mantra tightly. There are beauties everywhere in my world, and I can talk about benevolence, justice and morality. So Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Seng, these three little thieves, can't they just follow them like dogs? Help me beat people, kill ghosts, and help our Tang family's prestige.

It doesn’t matter that you are a monster, it doesn’t matter that you have been practicing for thousands of years, and it doesn’t matter that you are great at martial arts. Doesn't it look good to me? Okay, if you have the guts, come over and chop me!

/

This is a joke website.

The reward points are so high, I will post all the jokes I have hidden for you,

2. A person lives alone in a high-rise building, and a bull-headed horse arrives in the middle of the night. Prepare for the future. The next day, it was a long time after the ox-headed and horse-faced Hai hour, and people blamed him: Why did he come? The bull-headed and horse-faced man gasped: The elevator has stopped and he came upstairs.

5. The Brush Immortal is in a hurry

Several people called for the Brush Immortal, but they did not come for a long time. Just as they were about to give up, the Brush Immortal suddenly came and drew circles. Asked why he was late, the answer was: I was squatting on the toilet just now.

6. Nothing to do

Corrupt officials died suddenly and went to the underworld to write off their accounts. The ghost judge saw a person following closely behind him and asked: Who has come to this place before his life is over? Answer: The unit accountant came together because the official had emptied his account and left him with nothing to do.

7. Weighing

All the ghosts crossed the Naihe Bridge smoothly, but Po Meng stopped one person and ordered him to weigh himself. The group of ghosts are suspicious: Do ghosts have weight? Po Meng replied, "This man has a big face and an empty heart. He always doesn't know the importance. Now I want him to know how much he has."

8. Overslept

One person was seriously ill and needed emergency treatment in the hospital. After several struggles, everyone was extremely tired at night and everyone fell asleep. When he got up early in the morning, the doctor shouted: Oh my God, I overslept and forgot to give him emergency treatment. The nurse woke up: Oh my god, I overslept and forgot to change his drip. The family members also woke up: Oh my god, how can you still be alive without changing the intravenous drip or first aid all night? Just listen to a mysterious voice saying: Oh my god, I overslept and forgot to seduce my soul!

9. Do as the Romans do when you enter the countryside

On the Naihe Bridge, a scholar lamented that his beloved wife is still in the world: On the Naihe Bridge, there are two vast fields, how can a beauty come here again? Thirty years of endless hope, I will guard the bridge and you guard the house.

The ghost slave was impatient and pushed him away quickly, replying: "There are no old ghosts on the bridge, so don't come here to pretend to be an old green onion."

10. An old man is better known than his son.

An old man died. The filial son invited a group of monks to pray for him, but he had a special instruction, asking the old man’s soul to go to heaven. The monk said curiously: Only when you go to the West will you find the paradise. The filial son replied: My father always twisted his arms and thighs, and when people told him to go east, he would turn to the west. Just read to the east and he will go to the west.

11. The Long Way

The King of Hell made a census and found that there are many longevity stars in the mountains. He asked the ghost judge why the souls were not evenly seduced. The ghost judge hesitated and said: The road is too far. It is quite tiring to go there. ……

12. Different division of labor

A sudden appearance of a horse came and wanted to seduce Lao Zhang’s soul. Lao Zhang was extremely frightened. He wanted to give up all his money in exchange for good smoke and tea. Yangshou, the horse went away with a full bag. Not long after, another horse's face seduced him again, and Lao Zhang said unjustly: "Didn't you let me live forever?" The new horse sneered: Silly, you were fooled, it doesn’t care about this place...

14. Forgot half of it

One person dies, but drinking Meng Po soup on the bridge, nearly half of it Suddenly he kissed Po Meng, who was ashamed and angry: Why are you teasing me? Deceased: I wanted to kiss someone before I died, but I forgot who I wanted to kiss while drinking soup just now. Just you.

15. Respect art

The singer took several curtain calls before the audience was satisfied and dispersed. The only person who doesn't leave is the one who calls himself Seductive Horse Face. When asked why we waited so long, the answer was: I have to let you finish singing.

17. Ism

A professor gave a lecture: When a person dies, he turns into a butterfly, which is romanticism. Being invited away by horse face is classicism. Being cremated is realism. Being frozen and then resurrected is surreal. Also, don’t you think that I’m already dead? This is absurdism...

18. Accurate calculation

Mr. Divination (read the sign): You are going to make a small fortune today...

Ask The person who asked the divination: Yes, I felt it too...

After the person who asked the divination left, the bystander pointed out: That was a thief just now, your wallet was...

19.

After the painter died, his agent always had new paintings to sell.

One day after drinking, I finally revealed the truth: "Shhh...he is still painting in the studio, I didn't tell him that he was dead."

20. Bargain

After the death of the old man, his son burned two paper girls and buried them with him, and bought the ones with bad paper for cheap.

Not long ago, Se Weng asked in a dream: "Stingy son, that lady has a skin disease..."

21. Masquerade Ball

The masquerade party is over and the guests follow the requirements Take off your disguise.

A "mummy" asked the people around him to help him remove his shroud... In the end, everyone only saw a pile of shrouds.

22. Stupid ghost

A certain person is stupid and often gets hit while walking, and is given the compliment "Blind man, keep an eye on your steps!"

In the end, he died in a car accident, and his soul wandered unhindered. Fang Wei was knocked over by a fat ghost.

"Blind man, watch your eyes when you walk!" the fat ghost yelled angrily.

23. The King of Hell reads the file

The King of Hell is looking through the death report of the new ghost and comments while reading:

It is lucky to be shot to death

p>

………………

Well, the guillotine is very pleasant

…………

It is still happy to die in bed

………………

He was hit by a car and died. Did he go to hell on a cane?

………………

…………This, this, he was chopped 178 times and moaned for 3 hours before he died... Oh my God, this unlucky guy encountered A performance artist!

24. Restricted conditions

A friend was watching "The Ring" on a computer, and an outsider asked: Why don't you use a VCD if the computer is not good?

Answer: You don’t know, the computer screen is so small that Sadako can’t climb out...

25. Good location

The son of the deceased cried: "There are so many bull heads and horse faces." Burn some money, please take my father's ghost to Shanghai."

Niutou Mamian asked strangely: "It's so far away, why do you need to work for my father's ghost?"

The son said: "Shanghai is in a good location, my dad. If you go, you can get a room at a sky-high price."

26. 4 stories about big ghosts, little ghosts and old ghosts

Big ghost: Let's scare people tonight, whirring, quacking, and sputtering.

Little ghost: Why are you so hard on others?

Old ghost: Leave him alone, that guy died of split personality.

Big Ghost: The scary plan failed tonight.

Little ghost: It’s all you, you’re trying to scare people and you don’t choose any place. Why go to a blind massage parlor...

Old ghost: Little ghost, where’s the paper money you burned at home a few days ago?

Little Ghost: I have invested in partnership with Big Ghost.

Old ghost: Did you make a profit?

Little ghost: .........This fool, the ghost has no feet, but it insists on opening a shoe store!

Kid: I won the lottery and can go to heaven for five days!

Big Ghost: Fool, the angel will definitely tell you when the time comes that heaven is being renovated.

There was a little bird flying in the sky~~~

The hunter saw it, picked up his gun and shot it. He didn't hit it, but the bird still fell down. What happened?

Answer: The little bird patted its chest and said: "Scared to death" "Scared to death"~

A boy asked a girl, "What kind of boy do you like?" Huh?" The girl said, "It's the same thing." The boy asked again, and the girl still said it was the same. Finally, the boy said sadly, "Can't you have a flatter head?"

The following are some cold words. Joke

Xiaobai looks a lot like his brother, do you know why?

Because: It really looks like Dabai

2. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. , when he was bored, he started to pull out his own hair, one hair... two hairs... three hairs... and finally there was no hair left. He suddenly shouted... It's so cold.

Ah! ! ………………

3. There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked

4. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. .

The banana walking in front suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot. I need to take off my clothes."

As a result, he peeled off the skin.< /p>

As a result, the banana behind fell down.

5. There is a hide-and-seek club, and their leader has not been found yet.

9. There once was a Walking on the street, he felt hungry, so he ate himself

Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play ball for a long time. He said: "I'm so tired. I feel like I'm tired all the time." People have softened up."

10. Once upon a time, there was a little lamb. One day he went out to play and met the big bad wolf.

The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!"

Guess what happened?

In the end, the big bad wolf ate the lamb

11. There is a generation gap but no cleavage - this communication is difficult.

16. Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. . Crying. Crying. . And he flew up. .

17. One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. Big Gray

The wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, wooden house, and brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still

overtaken by the Big Bad Wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, "It's up to you." We gave up, it's up to you

whatever you want. At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva:

Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?

18. A stone and a rice cake fought, and when he was angry, he kicked the rice cake into the sea...

Tell me a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private commitment for life, but the boy had to obey. During his military service, he made an oath with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later. When the time comes, the ring will be As a wedding ring. After three years, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she has not been able to wait. She was so sad and desperate that she threw the diamond ring into the sea and left. But, then In fact, the boy

has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, so it became a regret forever

. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later , a boy went fishing, guess what he caught?

rice cake!

In the fourth joke, the rice cake was kicked into the sea by a stone...

20. This diver's movements are very difficult. He did a triple turn followed by a front flip three times

A month and a half followed by a back flip.

21. When my friend Li Shansi and I first moved, there was no TV at home and we were very bored.

We pretended there was a TV on the table, and then the two of us pretended to have remote controls in our hands and could change the channel.

This bastard kept changing the channel. I told him, but he didn’t listen, and then we started fighting.

22. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg; an egg went to swim in the Songhua River

, and it turned into a Songhua egg; one egg had An egg ran to Shandong and turned into a

Lu (stewed) egg; an egg was homeless and turned into a pheasant egg; there was an egg

in I accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground, which turned into a missile; an egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a missile. The result

became a hydrogen bomb; one egg became sick and turned into a bad guy; one egg got married

and turned into a bad guy; one egg ran away I swam in the river and turned into a nuclear bomb; there was an egg that ran into the flowers and turned into a flower; there was an egg that rode a horse and took it

He held a knife, and it turned out that he was a swordsman; one of the eggs was female, and it was ugly, and turned into a dinosaur egg; one of the eggs was male, and his wife was outside with someone else. He committed adultery with an egg, and as a result he became a bastard; there was an egg...

23. Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him Xiao Cai. .

As a result...

One day, he was taken away!

24. Once upon a time, there was a bird,

He would pass by a corn field every day,

But unfortunately,

one day there was a fire in that corn field,

all the corn turned into Got popcorn!!!

After the bird flew over...

I thought it was snowing, but it was so cold...

27 , coffee cups and water cups were crossing the road together. At this time, an old man shouted, "Be careful

Oh, it's a red light now." But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and water poured into it. Why?

Key: Because the coffee cup has "ears", the water cup does not 5555555555555555^^

31. One day, Hong Bean Cake was in a car accident. The last words he said before he died were: " …Ah! It turns out that I’m the one making bean paste!”

32. On a hot afternoon, a match head started to itch and scratch, and then it caught fire.

Remember the afternoon matches? In fact, there was something else later. There was a match and his head felt itchy. After scratching it

his head caught fire. Then he went to the hospital. After the nurse bandaged him, he turned into cotton< /p>

It’s beautiful.

35. There was a child who looked like a tomato. One day he was walking and suddenly fell down. . . .

Haha

Hahahahahahahahahaha, so funny

36. Once upon a time, there was a horse who entered a bar, sat at the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of wine

The waiter said: Your face is so long```

The three rabbits, piglets and chickens were chatting together. , for example

Me, you can call me Little Piggy from now on."

Little Rabbit then said: "You can call me Little Rabbit."

The little chicken coughed and said: "I'm sorry, I have something else to do, so I'll leave first..."

Three little white rabbits picked a mushroom

Two The older one asked the younger one to get some wild vegetables to eat together

The younger one said I won’t go and you will eat my mushrooms if I leave

The two elder ones said no Don't worry, so the little white rabbit went~~~

Half a year passed and the little white rabbit still hasn't come back. A big one said that it won't come back and we have to eat it

Another The big one said wait a little longer~~~

A year has passed and the little white rabbit hasn’t come back yet. The two big ones said we don’t have to wait and let’s eat.

Right here At that time, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle nearby and said angrily: Look! I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms

An animal produced by mating a sheep and a dog What is it called?

Sheepdog

One day...

There was a buck running faster and faster...

Run to the end...

He becomes a ~"high-speed buck"~...

The car can fly. Please guess a drink. ...

Coffee...

Because...(Car)-(fly)

How to make the drink bigger?

Recite the Great Compassion Mantra

We say a bear without a tail is called a koala, but what kind of bear do we call a bear without a penis?

The answer is A female bear, because a female bear has no penis.

Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun that ate a meatball and turned into a steamed bun~

One day

The little penguin went to play with the polar bear!

Three years later, when he walked to the equator, he remembered that the door was not closed at home

It took him another three years to close the door when he returned home

Then I arrived in the North Pole 6 years later

When I knocked on the door of the polar bear, the people said: "Polar bear, I come to play with you!"

When the polar bear opened the door, he looked at the penguin and said: "I Don’t play! Then close them!"

The penguin went home!!!

There was a person who looked like a bicycle, but one day she was standing on the road and was ridden Gone

A woman was chased by cannibals and ran into a dead end. She was frightened and wet her pants.

The cannibals saw this and cursed: What a pity, the soup was spilled

Xiao Ming: How many times did it take today?

Xiaohua: It’s minus 3 degrees!

Xiao Ming:....No wonder it's so cold...

The white horse is called white horse, the black horse is called black horse, and the black and white horse is called zebra. , so what is the name of the black, white and red horse?

It is a shy zebra

The nature class teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered.

The teacher asked again: Does no one know?

At this time, a classmate stood up and said: That is because the mind is naturally cool when it is calm.

Excuse me: Who gave me Wangqing Shui?

Answer: Aha~~~

Reason: "Aha, give me a glass of forgetful water~~~~"

What is the last name of the pencil?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencils

Four people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people?

Because the person they were beating was called "Mahjong"

Once my brother hit me, and I had a bag on my head. Later, my brother wanted to pretend to be stuffed, but he couldn't find the bag. , I took the bag on my head to hold something.

My girlfriend invited me to watch a movie at her house, and she wrote the word "movie" on the wall with a pen. The two of us sat on the toilet and read it.

Xiao Ming: “Do you know the name of Muhammad Ali’s father? Ruobing: "I don't know."

Xiao Ming: "Idiot!" Of course it’s called Alibaba. "

Xiao Ming: "A fox ate a fruit and turned into another animal. What did it become? Ruobing: "I don't know." "Xiao Ming: "Of course it's the civet. "

One day, the poisonous man accidentally poisoned himself to death. How did he die? - The answer is: He accidentally bit his tongue while eating.

How did Lin Daiyu die?

She fell to death because, "Sister Lin fell from the sky"

Once upon a time, there was a person named Xiao Cai who was left alone overnight and became rotten. ~~

One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy? Dad said: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?" ”

Little A said to little B: Damn it...it’s raining outside!! Did you see it?

Little B was very excited: Yes, I saw you. What?

One day Big Putao and Little Putao were walking on the road.

Big Putao suddenly said to Little Putao: Can you carry me?

Little Putao Putao said: OK!

As a result, Little Putao was crushed to death.

One day, the turtle father, turtle mother and turtle son decided to go on an outing, and they brought a Shandong with them. After ten years of hard work and two cans of sea chicken, they finally arrived! They sat down on the ground and took off their equipment to eat.

Turtle son: "...Then I'll go back and get it."

Turtle dad: "Good boy! Hurry! Your parents are waiting for you to come back and have dinner together, go and get back quickly!"

Turtle Son: "You must wait for me to come back! Don't break your promise!"

So Turtle Son set out on his way home...

Time flies like an arrow, time flies, and it's gone in the blink of an eye. After 20 years, the turtle son has not yet appeared.

Turtle mother: "Honey... do you want to start dinner? I'm so hungry..."

Turtle dad: "No! We promised our son! Well...wait for him Five years later, if he doesn’t come, I’ll leave him alone!”

It’s been five years, and there’s still no trace of Turtle Son. Turtle’s parents don’t care anymore! The two elders decided to start.

Took out the big cake and was about to eat it...

Suddenly, Turtle Son poked his head out from behind the tree...

Turtle Son: "*! I knew you would steal it! You lied to me to go back and get the can opener? I’ve been waiting for it for twenty-five years! I hate it the most!”

A man Zhou! I left home at five afternoon to go to work. It was payday, so instead of going home, he spent the entire weekend partying with friends and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally got home on Sunday night, his furious wife was waiting for him, and she cursed him for almost an hour. Finally, his wife stopped nagging and asked him: "How would you feel if you couldn't see me for three days in a row?"

He replied: "I feel pretty good."

Monday passed and he did not see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday also passed, and he still did not see his wife.

By Thursday,

the swelling had subsided a little, and he could finally see his wife a little bit from the corner of his left eye.

Teacher: "You are finally here! Why didn't you come to class yesterday?"

Student: "Because...because, my mother fell down the stairs..."

Teacher: "Oh! I see, mom was injured, so you didn't come."

Student: "No...it was my dad who was injured..."

Teacher : "Why did your dad get hurt when your mom fell down the stairs?"

Student: "Because...my dad has a woman outside..."

Teacher: "What?" ..What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs?”

Student: “Because they were fighting..My mother fell but my father was injured.”

< p>Teacher: "Oh... so you didn't come to class because you sent your dad to the hospital?"

Student: "No... it was a woman outside who sent my dad to the hospital.

”

Teacher: “Then why didn’t you come to class?” "

Student: "Because I overslept..."

Teacher: "What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs!" ? "

Student: "No, I...I just mentioned it by the way..."

Electrical appliances holds a joke telling contest,

It is stipulated that each Every electrical appliance must tell a joke,

and make every audience laugh,

or else they will be taken to Aruba. The first one to appear is the washing machine.< /p>

As soon as he finished telling the joke, the whole audience laughed.

Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say: "It's so cold~~~"

So the washing machine He was taken to Aruba. The smartest computer came next. As soon as he finished telling his joke, all the household appliances burst out laughing.

The rice cooker was heard saying again: " It’s so cold~~~”

So! The computer was also taken to Aruba.

The third place is the most humorous desk lamp,

The desk lamp After telling the joke very confidently, everyone was rolling on the ground laughing.

The rice cooker said again: "It's so cold~~~"

Just when the lamp was about to be taken away In Aruba,

the rice cooker stood up angrily,

turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said:

"I've had enough. Just smile, don't open your mouth so wide, it's very cold

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountains to pick fruits.

He announced: "Children, after picking fruits After washing the fruits, we wash them together and eat them together.”

All the children ran to pick the fruits.

When the gathering time came, all the children gathered.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked apples."

Teacher : "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I am washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are all great! Then Amin What about you?"

Amin: "I was washing my shoes because I stepped in poop."

One day... the zombie came to life... and farted... again. Dead….

One day Noodle A and Noodle B met for an outing

Suddenly a gust of wind blew

Noodle A fell into the sea

Noodle B was there Pointing at Noodle A and laughing

Wow hahaha~soup noodles

Once upon a time there was a vegetable that wanted to grow up quickly so that others could pick it and make soup.

As a result, he grew and grew, but he didn’t grow taller. He grew older and older.

He became a veteran, but no one picked him up

A man who rides a motorcycle likes to rebel. When wearing clothes, just button them at the back to keep out the wind.

One day he was driving drunk, overturned, and fell on the side of the road.

When the police arrived...

Police Officer A: What a serious car accident.

Police Officer B: Yes, my head hit the back.

Police Officer A: Well, he’s still breathing. Let’s help him turn his head back.

Police Officer B: Okay... One or two times, I turned back.

Police Officer A: Well, I’m not breathing...

Once upon a time, a man caught a squid while fishing.

The squid begged him: You Let me go 8. Don’t bake it to eat

The man said: Okay, then I will test you with a few questions

The squid was very happy and said you can take the test, you can take the test

Then they grilled the squid

Xiao Ming lost a leg in a car accident,

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident,

Xiao Ming lost his other leg in another car accident,

Xiao Ming lost his other leg in another car accident,

In fact, Xiao Ming is a dog.

p>

While playing CS, I saw a bespectacled gangster rushing forward with "51" in his hands, and a line of text underneath -

"wo shi dang yuan, follow me!!!"

The hospital has set up 100 exits to prevent patients from escaping, but two mentally ill patients still want to escape from the hospital. Yu Yehei works hard

to climb over the wall.

At the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?",

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

At the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"No." So the two continued to turn outwards,

p>

Go to the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Tired"

"Okay, let's turn over Go back."

Instructor: (Turn off the cockpit lights) OK, the lights go out, what do you do?

Student: (Take out the flashlight) I'll use this.

Instructor: (takes away the flashlight) There is no battery, what should I do?

Student: (takes out another flashlight) I have another one.

Instructor: (takes out the flashlight) (Take a flashlight) The light bulb is burned out, what should I do?

Student: (Take out the spare light bulb) I still have the light bulb.

Instructor: (Take away the light bulb) The light bulb is broken.< /p>

Student: (takes out another flashlight) I also have a flashlight, a new one.

Instructor:... Very good,

But I I just want to see how you fly in the dark, can you just pretend?

Chocolate and tomatoes fight, and chocolate wins.

Why?

Because of the chocolate bar~

Once upon a time, there was a horse who entered a bar. He sat at the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of wine. The waiter said: Your face is so long. ~

One day Little A and Little C went for a late night snack and came to a large intestine noodle stall. After ordering something, the two sat down. At this time, Little A spoke...

Little A: "Hey, when eating pig intestines, you have to bite it longer and chew it more..."

Little C: "Why? ?”

Little A: “Because pig intestines are not easy to digest.”

Little C: “…….”

Little A: “You know why? Isn’t pig large intestine easy to digest?”

Little C: “I don’t know.”

Little A: “Because in addition to the stomach, human digestive organs also have a large intestine. If you If the pig intestine you eat is not chewed up by your teeth, "your own large intestine" will recognize that "it" is also a large intestine, and your large intestine will say to "it", "Yeah, you are also a large intestine!" The pig's large intestine that has not been bitten will say to your large intestine: "Yes, I am also a large intestine!" Then, your large intestine will say, "Since you are also a large intestine," in a state of "like does not kill each other". Then let me go." Then, the so-called indigestion happened."

A man went fishing at the river.

First he pierced a leaf and no fish took the bait for a long time. , he changed another piece of bread, and still no fish took the bait for a long time~

He had no choice but to change it for earthworms, and still no fish took the bait for a long time~

In anger, he took out Out of 100rmb~~Falled into the water~~

"tnnd~~What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!!!!"

One day, three people, A, B and C, went out together I was playing and wandering on the road for a long time. Later, A said, it was so boring. . . I really want to hit B.

Then C glanced at A and dragged B to the alley to beat him. . .

One day, a man was walking in the orange circle and saw a big orange. He walked over, picked the orange and started to peel it off. When he finished peeling it, The orange actually spoke. .

It said, if you take off my clothes, I will be cold.

One day a female drug addict was caught at the police station

The police saw a tattoo on her hand

and asked her why you took your boyfriend His name is tattooed on his hand

Is his name Xiaoliang... ah... is it? Tell me quickly

Tell me... is he taking drugs... hurry up Said

I saw the female drug addict raising her head with angry eyes

Said to the police: This is hate....

This story tells We... better not gain weight after getting tattooed -_-!!

A gentleman named his dog after his neighbour.

His wife asked curiously: "Honey, did you do that to insult others?"

The gentleman shook his head and said, "No, I did it to insult our dog.

”

There once was a man who never washed his hair. Later, there was a thick layer of ash on his head. Then a seed fell on his head. When it rained, the seed sprouted and grew. It became a big tree. It was good to have a big tree, as it could block the sun and rain. However, there were always a lot of birds on the tree, which made him very noisy, so he pulled out the tree. After the tree was pulled out, There was a big pit on his head. It rained. There was a lot of water in the pit, a lot of fish in the water, and many people rowing boats in it. This man couldn't stand it anymore, so he jumped into the pond on his head and drowned. 了

: There used to be someone who looked a lot like me...that was me in the past...

Yuanyuan asked Xiaoxiao: Do ??you know what Andy Lau likes? Color?

Little novel: black

Yuanyuan asked:

Little novel

Guess.

One night, the boy was riding a motorcycle with the girl speeding.

They loved each other deeply.

Girl: "Slow down... I Afraid of..."

Boy: "No, this is fun..."

Girl: "Please...this is too scary..."< /p>

Boy: "Okay, then you say you love me..."

Girl: "Okay...I love you...Can you slow down now?" ? "

Boy: "Hold me tight..."

The girl hugged him tightly. Girl: "Can you slow down now? ”

Boy: “Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself?” It makes me uncomfortable and interferes with my driving. ”

The next day, the newspaper reported: A motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. There were two people on the car, one died and the other Survived...

The boy driving the car knew that the brakes were malfunctioning, but he did not let the girl know because that would make her irritated