Funny copywriting in friends circle

1. What is a male god? Just the kind of man who looks at 1 and thinks that this life has nothing to do with you.

Today, I trained my dog at home. After the training, my husband walked over and said to the dog earnestly, "Oh, how dare you fight with the tiger?" You are just a dog. "

3. I fought with my classmates and made an appointment. The other party found more than a dozen people, so I had to call my brother. My brother drove a broken car, got off and walked up to the other side, slapped him in the face and kicked him down. Then he came up to me and said, damn it, you're looking for so many people. I said, no, he found all this. Then my brother turned blue.

I don't understand why fat people are laughed at by thin people. Why should a group of people who turn their finished rice into meat be laughed at by those who turn their finished rice into shit?

I have a blind date with a girl. My mother likes her very much, and so does my father. Finally, I recognized her as an adopted daughter and said that I was not worthy of her.

6. White shirts are prone to yellowing, and ordinary washing powder is difficult to wash off, which makes many people feel headache. Here's a hint: take some painkillers before washing your white shirt, and your head will be less painful.

7. I just want to say that my parents suspect me of puppy love, and you overestimate my ability.

8. Is it important to be a daughter-in-law or a game? Of course, the daughter-in-law is important, so I only dare to play games, not my daughter-in-law.

9. Some girls are like lotus, hibiscus, some girls are like peony, noble and elegant, some girls are like plum blossom, cold and aloof, and you are like meat, as the name suggests.

10. I finally got used to my appearance, got a haircut and changed my ugly method.

1 1. I tell my son a lot of truth every day. I hope he will understand as soon as possible that people like me who only preach all day will not succeed.

12. Girls who don't work hard will have endless stalls and endless shops in the vegetable market. No matter how hard you work, you won't have time to shop or go shopping. You can only work overtime to order takeout.

13. On the first day of school, I called my deskmate and the teacher asked me to call my parents. I said: nothing, I can hit him myself!

14. Isn't it good to find a fat girlfriend? You chose the biggest one for the same money!

15. Sometimes, when I say "I'm fine", I just want someone to look me in the eye, hold me tightly, say "I know you're not fine", and then take out a bunch of big bills and put them in my arms.

16. Recently, I was very sad because of my looks, and even felt inferior, because others always said that what looks good is not a good thing.

17. When we are young, we all make mistakes. We always call girls in their twenties aunts and boys uncles, so now we get what we deserve. We have to pay them back sooner or later!

18. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date means showing feng shui to the grave, confession means digging the grave, marriage means double suicide, empathy means moving the grave, and a third party means robbing the grave.

19. It is said that boys will be gentle when they speak, such as: Baby, where is your best friend?

20. Life deceived me, so I was unwilling, so I turned on the filter, skinned, whitened, and had long leg special effects, and finally deceived life in crazy retouching!

2 1. My mother likes playing mahjong, and then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.

22. I am not a vain person. I hate villas, sports cars, designer bags, clothes and shoes. I only like money.

23. Every time the teacher finishes the topic, he always asks me if I understand it. I always feel that the teacher is too kind to me. On graduation day, he suddenly said, "It's good to have you in this class. If you understand, I know everyone must understand. "

24. Everyone's life is a book, others' is a happy life, and mine is a complete collection of jokes.