Should the bride price given by the in-laws be left to the parents, or should it be used for the small family?

Before answering the question, let’s first talk about what is a bride price? Why give a bride price?

Betrothal gift is a cultural tradition. When a man and a woman get married, at the engagement ceremony, the man will give the woman a betrothal gift, commonly known as a bride price. Usually the content of betrothal gifts has been expanded, and the portions of money donated by relatives and friends are also called betrothal gifts. Due to space limitations, we will not discuss this here.

Why does the man give the woman a bride price? First, the bride price has been passed down for thousands of years as a part of marriage culture, and it is an agreed-upon existence. Usually, the law neither encourages nor prohibits it. Second, the bride price indicates an attitude. The man gives the woman a betrothal gift to show his sincerity in marrying and it is a sign of respect for the woman. At the same time, marriage means that the woman becomes a part of the man's family. Donating bride price represents a kind of gratitude to the woman’s parents for nurturing their daughter. Third, the bride price means that the man has good financial conditions and can give the woman a better life. Since you can afford a wife, you must also afford a bride price. Fourth, both the man and the woman have face. If the man cannot get the bride price and the woman cannot get the bride price, others will laugh at her and look down upon her.

After the woman receives the bride price, it is her choice whether to leave it to her parents to subsidize the family, or to use it for the life of the small family in the future. What you do is up to you and has nothing to do with your husband. If I were a married daughter, I would choose to leave it to my parents. The reasons are as follows:

First, borrow flowers to offer to Buddha. Strictly speaking, when a daughter gets married and has a family of her own, it means that she is truly independent and is no longer a real member of her parents' family. When you leave home, it should be a good time to repay your parents' kindness. Leave the bride price to your parents so that they can live a more comfortable life and alleviate their psychological debt.

Second, it is not difficult to borrow again. When a small family is in urgent need of money, they can speak to their parents. Otherwise, the bride price will be used by myself and I don’t want to leave it to my parents. When I am in urgent need of money, I ask my parents for money, which is cheating on my parents and being unfilial. Even if the bride price was left to her parents and they didn't want it, they still insisted on keeping it. Even if the family is well off, the parents are not short of this little gift money. These are two completely different things.

Third, it is unlucky for parents in the world. Most parents want their children to be happy. If you keep the bride price, they won't touch it no matter what. Even if there is no betrothal gift, they will give everything they have when you need it. This is an expression of selfless and noble parents. As a daughter, no matter how filial she is to her parents, she cannot compare to her parents' kindness.

Fourth, the relationship between parent and daughter must also be discussed. The parent-daughter relationship is the closest and deepest interpersonal relationship. Since it is a human relationship, there is a loving and righteous interaction between you and me. The relationship gets closer and closer, and the family affection becomes more distant and weaker. The stranger must be the daughter of the parents, and the indifferent person is always the junior of the old man. Relatives need more love and affection. Between parents and daughters, there is more need for sincerity and sincerity.

In short, happy families are all similar, and unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way. Dealing with the betrothal gifts well, making relatives happy and comforting, means that the children have matured and grown up, and the family is harmonious and happy.