Do you have any jokes?

Alibaba

An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; An egg is a man, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes an illegitimate child; There is an egg. ......

One day, there was a fudge walking in the street.

As she was walking, she suddenly said, "Oh, dear! My legs are so soft! "

Once upon a time, there was a man named Yu,

One day, he was hungry,

I ate myself. ....

A classmate named Cai Xiao was walking on the road when he was suddenly stopped. ..

A banana gentleman is dating his girlfriend and walking down the street. It was very hot, so Mr banana took off his clothes, and then his girlfriend fell down.

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" "

Hearing this, the polar bear tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" " "

One day mung beans committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became red beans; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

One day, bean paste buns were walking on the road, and suddenly they had an accident and their stomachs were broken. Before he died, he looked at his stomach and said, "Oh, I am just a bean paste bag."

The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so I reached out to scratch it and burned myself to death.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew away ...

Once upon a time there was a bird.

He passes through a cornfield every day.

But unfortunately,

One day, a fire broke out in the cornfield.

All the corn has turned into popcorn.

After the birds fly by, ......

I thought it was snowing, so I froze. ...

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks. ..

One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet.

On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" "

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "

A pair of corn fell in love.

So they decided to get married.

Wedding anniversary

A corn can't find another corn.

This corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?

Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.

One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him.

Q: Why don't they say hello?

A: Because I am not familiar with it. ..

Excuse me:

Who is Amy's mother?

-flowers, because "peanuts."

Who is Amy's father?

-It's a butterfly, and the country is a "recent flower".

Who is Amy's grandmother?

-it's a wonderful pen, because "a wonderful pen makes flowers."

There is a fat man. ..........

Jump off a tall building ...

It turned out to be .......

Fat bastard ..

One day, a green apple went out shopping and suddenly saw a red apple. He said to the red apple. ...

You have a crush on me, otherwise why are you blushing? ...

In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

Xiao said to Xiao B: dig the plug ... it's raining outside! ! Have you seen it?

Xiao B is very excited: Yes, I see you.

Xiaoming has been begging his mother to let him become an artist.

Mother said, "You are still young, we will talk about it later." Xiao Ming didn't give up and kept begging her.

Finally, my mother couldn't stand it anymore and flew into a rage:

"We were born with red beans and can't be artists (barley). You should give up! 」

The little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?" The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

Once upon a time, tomato A and tomato B went shopping together.

Then one day suddenly a truck rushed out.

Squeeze the tomato nails through.

Tomato b laughs at tomato a.

[hahaha ketchup ~]

Chocolate and tomatoes fight, and chocolate wins.

Why?

Because of the chocolate bar ~

The tortoise and the rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ..

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly .. and said to him, come up, I'll carry you. ..

Then, the snail came up. ..

After a while, the tortoise saw another ant and said to him, come up, too. ..

So the ants came up. .

When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...

Ming Dow Jr.: "Kang, let me ask you something." A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? 」

Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? 」

Xiao Ming said, "The answer is' green bean paste (mung bean shark)'. Oh, you are so stupid! 」

Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?

A: Rabbit ~ ~

Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~

Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?

A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba

Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again.

A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ! "College students replied to the enemy's words and were electrocuted. ...

He said, "I'm from TV University!"

A snack bar selling jiaozi closed down.

So she went to ask the teacher what to do.

The Lord said, you have to find a fresh corpse and wrap its meat into jiaozi.

Then sell it so that business will be good, but tell their family not to eat this kind of jiaozi, or something will happen.

The boss tried it and the effect was really good.

So she went looking for the body again.

The next day, her son will bring a lunch.

But he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it.

Found a lunch box. He thought it was his and took it away.

Unexpectedly, jiaozi was left by his father in the box.

He held it up at noon to watch the next jump.

The cross in the morning is 10. Why did it suddenly become five?

He tried to put the lid on again, then opened it, and it became two again!

You know why?

Because jiaozi stuck to the lid.